Movie Review: Enchanted

My daughter and I went to see "Enchanted" yesterday and we had such a blast. As a "princess mom", I'm intimately acquainted with many of the Disney stories. If there's a feminine character with a tiara in it, even with a fishtail or as an ogre, we've got it. For my own Princess, she recognized a lot of similarities and had fun with it.

I loved the tongue-in-cheek approach the movie took toward Princess stories. Annika and I both laughed a lot, and she did a loud "eeeyyouuu" at one kissing scene.

Patrick Dempsey is always delightful to watch, so no complaints here, but I think his role could've been better. The character for Nancy was not as developed as it should've been and threw away actress Idina Menzel; she played Maureen in "Rent". Even Annika commented on that.

Amy Adams was really good because she captured the wide-eyed innocence and she transformed from an animated character to a human. Kinda sucks to be James Marsden because he got jilted at the alter in "The Notebook" too!

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Nods to other Princess movies (Spoilers!)

Sleeping Beauty: Living in the round house in the woods. Singing with the animals. Transforming objects into a human form. The evil queen turns herself into a dragon at the end. Magical swords. Magic kiss to break the spell. Prince Edward is pretty much modeled after Prince Philip, who doesn't do much but sing and talk about true love at first sight (or first hearing as it is).
Cinderella: Giselle calls upon the animals to help her clean, scrub the floors and get dressed (tie bows). Lost shoes.
Snow White: poison apples, evil queen, dwarf references, Magic kiss to break the spell.
Beauty & The Beast: I was dying with laughter when Giselle was singing in Central Park, just like Belle. And, the final ballroom scene is just like B & B where the camera swirls around the couple exactly the same way! Plus, Robert is donning a blue suit just the Beast. The last scene on top of the building is similar to the B&B as well. In the Central Park dance scene there's someone dressed in belly dancer outfit with a candelabra on her head (oh, Lumiere, wherefore art thou for an elaborate dance sequence!)
The Little Mermaid: While surfing for photos, I learned that Jodi Benson who was the voice of Ariel played the secretary and if you listened carefully, "Part of Your World" is playing in the background. The whole fish tank thing is a tribute to Little Mermaid.
Aladdin: The only similarity I could see besides the belly dancing candelabra, was Giselle brushing her hair in front of a mirror. Jasmine tends to do that often ; really, what else can she do all locked up in the palace?
Shrek: Big, green, booger-faced ogre muttering "true love"
The Princess Diaries: Julie Andrews is the narrator. Of course.

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If you've seen the movie and know of anymore let me know. It is inevitable that we will be buying the DVD for this. It's just sweet and charming, and it's great to see a movie with Annika. I think 6 is a perfect age for this movie. Any younger, then some of the irony would've gone over their heads.

Anyway, here's a parting shot of Patrick .. never hurts a blog.

Chak De India!

Just a few more weeks until we are in India!

This is exciting for me because it seems my destiny for trips to India are on a 10 year cycle. Once I left in 1971, I've returned 1980, 1987, 1997, and now 2007! My husband had gone 3 times without me because of the circumstances; I was pregnant, daughter was too young or his trip was last minute and I couldn't schedule it.

I really love going to India, and I know a lot of Indians are skeptical of my claims. When I landed last time, I felt like I was home. People thought I was full of it. I could see their thoughts: Please, you're an ABCD. NJ is home for you.

India has an undeniable power.

When we went to India when I was 11, we stayed for 5 months. We lived like regular Indian kids -- running around the streets of my father's small town, playing with goats (no donkeys, though - you stay away from the donkeys!), drinking and eating everything that was handed to us -- sherbets of all colors of the rainbow. We roamed the neighborhoods of Ahmedabad with our cousins and went for ice cream at every occasion. We saw lots of Hindi films and ate popcorn and masala chips.

We returned to the US very tan, sick, emaciated and malaria-ridden and had trouble adjusting in school after being out so long. Lovely.

What I enjoyed the most about India is the unabashedly open reception. I learned what family really meant that first summer. There are no formalities about who you are to them. (I wrote a little about this experience in My Own Elizabethtown.) There are downsides to that though, such as lack of privacy and how people think you're entitled to heed their comments about your life or your body. I know we've all been made quite miserable at some point or another.

At 6, my daughter is at an excellent age for this trip. My sister made her first trip around the same time and her memories are very strong. However, I'm a bit nervous about my daughter's first trip there. She's a pampered princess from the suburbs. She cringed when we went to Chinatown in NYC and was overwhelmed by the people.

My friends and family in Mumbai live the cosmopolitan life, so I know we'll be comfortable and quite sanitized there. Yet, everything in India is open - especially the poverty. My sister and I have cried in the car from the airport upon seeing the poverty. I'm worried about myself. I've always been close to children and wanted to help every one there. Now, as a mother, how will I be able to react to children knocking on the car window or tugging on my skirt for alms? I'm taking deep breaths now.

I was greatly inspired on my last visit by my cousin and her husband. We were at a temple, and when the children came to beg, they took them to the dining area and made sure they were fed. We all had pulled over to eat at the side of the road, and a poor man was walking. They quickly prepared a plate for him. By the way, I was aghast that after a whole group finished eating on paper plates, they dumped the trash on the side of the road!! (Two points for Humanity, minus one point for the Environment)

Like all my India trips, I know this will be just as exciting. By the way, we're looking to get internet hook up at home, so hopefully I'll be able to post while I'm gone for three weeks. Also,I haven't had a three week vacation since I started this job 6 years ago! So, just the aspect of not being at work for 3 weeks is very exciting as well!

Now, if anyone has any favorite Mumbai spots, please let me know:
- shopping (not looking for Bollywood glam..reasonably priced with classic styles)
- restaurants/clubs (yes, looking for Bollywood glam! Finding John Abraham would be the best!)
- spas and salons
- any other must-see

We're hoping to hit Ahmedabad and Goa, as well.

Also, if you've traveled with children before and have any caveats, I'd like to know too. Yes, we will be staying away from rainbow-colored sherbets and have our sunscreen and malaria prescriptions!

Feel free to email me directly with any of the above.

The Tao of Lucy & Ricky

The institution of marriage comes up a lot these days with friends who are in various stages: newlywed, long time wed, much too long wed, finished one and looking for next, never been wed.

So, we go through these discussions of what marriage is supposed to be.

I have this Lucy and Ricky magnet on my fridge. My friend Heather gave this to me years ago because I was a "I Love Lucy" fan. I looked at it the other day and thought about Lucy & Ricky as a good example of married couple.

Forget the real life Lucille & Desi stories when they got divorced. Think of the characters. Forget that Lucy & Ricky had twin beds as a married couple and still had Little Ricky.

There's something appealing about this couple and they have a place in our collective hearts.

1. They are a visibly loving. They are as kissy-face and affectionate as permissible by TV censors. No need to go overboard to prove anything or be possessive. Just enough to show they're comfortable with each other.

2. They fight all the time. Lucy always wants to be in the show and he's too embarrassed by her lack of talent. They will battle it out. It's ok to disagree and argue.

3. There is a lot of humor in the relationship. At the end, they both forgive each other and laugh off their stubbornness.

4. They have Ethel & Fred as their support system. You gotta have friends. Even if it is a Mertz. You need girlfriends who will listen and go out on a limb for you (in Lucy's case, literally!) Ricky and Fred seemed kinda odd pair, but you know, you don't always click 100% with your spouse's friends' partners, do you? But you find a middle ground.

5. They're total opposites. They have different cultural backgrounds since he's a dark Cuban and she's all-American redhead. They accept these differences. Not always easily when he starts going on in Spanish and she starts her own cackling.

Well, just a snapshot of another type of "reality" TV. Stay tuned for more in depth psychoanalysis of other magnets on my fridge! We have a "Sound of Music" one. My next blog might be "The Von Trapps : A Well-Adjusted Blended Family or a Case of Nannies Gone Wild?"

Macy's Thanksgiving Parade

A few years ago, my sister and I had the opportunity of a lifetime to be in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade in New York City. Yes, we were in it! My sister was a Macy's employee and signed us up to be clowns. The other option was to hold balloons, but that seemed too intensive.

Our day was to start 4 am by taking a chartered bus from NJ to NY. Unfortunately, we couldn't find the bus or her colleagues. We panicked and decided to drive ourselves to NYC and go to the meeting location. Later, we were happy since we were able to leave immediately after we were done. I remember driving in the dark hours and seeing a falling star.

We went to a hotel where we were given our costumes. We were to be part of "Martian Madness" and accompany this fuzzy character (I don't recall his name). To be a Martian entailed having our faces painted down the middle or diagonally - red on one side and blue on the other. We had these sock-like things to wear over our heads and some antennas. We had worn layers of t-shirts, sweatshirts and socks, plus gloves. To be honest, we hated our costumes. They weren't as cute as others and people would ask us "What are you?? Teletubby?"

They bussed us to where the parade started. It was 6 am and parade would kick off at 9 am. The weather wasn't so bad, but the prolonged exposure and not doing anything made it worse.

Once the parade started it was awesome! While we were waiting for our turn to jump in, we saw every float upfront! We cheered and waved to all the celebs on the Sesame Street float and I had my picture taken with Barney. We saw Al Roker interviewing folks and celebrities like Jill Hennessey.

Once we started walking, our job as clowns was to pump up the crowds and accompany our fuzzy friend in a little car. So, we had to run around, high-five everyone, yell and cheer! Even though kids didn't know what we were, the majority of people were excited when we'd come running up. They would lean over just to give a high-five. By the way, with all the running we did, we were quite warm. And, it was a long damn walk!

The most exciting memory I have is walking towards Columbus Circle and seeing hundreds of people! For a moment, I felt the high that Britney and Janet Jackson talk about when they perform in front of people. It is totally exciting! (Ok, the Sesame Street float was in front of us, so obviously that generated more excitement than our fuzzy-forgotten-name character).

By the way, we did not appear on TV. They did announce us "Coming up, Martian Madness" so our friends and family were all tuned in. So, yes we did come up next - but NBC went to commercial.

One regret I have for that day is not bringing a camera. We weren't sure how we would carry it and later saw lots of other clowns with cameras. Macy's photographer did take a picture of our group and it was available online for purchase. And, the photo was quite lousy.

Anyway, we had to return the costumes and left by noonish. We were so exhausted and just ready to go home and crash. That Thanksgiving was more memorable because the family member who was going to host dinner canceled due to a sick child. Therefore, around 4 pm, my sister and I were at Acme trying to round up some stuffing and gravy for last minute dinner!

Seeing the parade in real life is exciting, and being in the parade is an even better experience!

Catalog Wisdom

Tis the season for catalogs! Amidst the visually sensual and seductive Harry & David catalogs, I found Signals. This is definitely targeting artsy-fartsy people like me because I wanted something on every other page - jewelry with Emily Dickinson and Shakespeare quotes, unique Harry Potter paraphernalia, abstract figurines in metal, jewelry reminiscent of ancient artwork and symbols, Asian-inspired decorative artwork, etc. I'll admit, some of the items are too much for me (e.g., the "I love Mr. Darcy" sweatshirt)

What caught my attention were quotes on jewelry and sweatshirts. Since I wouldn't wear these (I am always looking over my shoulder for Clinton and Stacy), I thought I'd share them here:

National Sarcasm Society Like we need your support
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Never Judge a Book by the Movie
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She is too fond of books and it has addled her brain - Louisa May Alcott
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English Major You Do the Math
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There are only 10 kinds of people.
Those who understand binary and those who don't.
(Whew! In spite of my professional geekiness, I'm glad I missed that 10 = 2 in binary!)
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Not all who wander are lost
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Walking.calm
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Patron Saint of External Optimism:
Rely on her to help you see your cup is half full and that there's a silver lining in every cloud
and tomorrow is going to be a better day.
(I think my readers might bestow this title on me!)
~*~
(my favorite..)
Careful, or you'll end up in my novel.

Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For..

I had an interesting discussion with someone close to me. We were discussing the challenges of being a single person and finding the "right" person. She said her new approach is to identify what she wants, the desirable traits. If she finds someone who meets these points, then she would pursue the relationship and they could work through the other not-so-desirable points. (By the way, there are some traits in the No-Compromise Zone; I'm referring to those that can be worked through a compromise).

Too often, people work backwards - eliminate based on the undesirable points and do not look further. So, they feel all they've found are people with undesirable traits. Of course, if you are looking for X, you will find X. So, why aren't you looking for the positive traits instead?

Now, I'm going to stretch the context of this theory further and let it adapt to different circumstances. Let's say there's a new project at work and along the way, there will be problems along the way. It's only normal that there will be human error, communication failures and other unforeseen issues. You can look and you will see all of those. The project looks absolutely riddled with failures! You can moan, "We never win."

However, if you set your milestones - the desirable points - you may find you have met them. And, you can add those 'failures' to your column of "Challenges Faced." Then, you would be able to forecast how to avoid them in the future.

OK, still not buying this theory? When people have a negative attitude, it filters out everything positive that they could see.

"Let's go out to lunch. Italian?"
"No, it's too heavy."
"Thai?"
"No it's too spicy."
"Chinese?"
"No, it's all that MSG. There's nothing to eat." (Sigh.. woe is me..)

Or, you can look at it "I can get a nice fresh salad with olives and balsamic vinaigrette, if we do Italian." "Or, "hey, they have a good crunchy pad thai" or "That Chinese place has excellent vegetable dumplings steamed in banana leaves."

Life is about making choices and we make choices on how we look at things. So, we can't complain that we never find what we're looking for. The problem is that we're looking for the wrong things.

Unlocking the Shackles

Don't ask why, but my office has archaic telephones. They are the black, corded, touch tone phones. No redial. No mute. Voice mail indicator? Are you kidding? Nothing. These are a total flashback to 1975.

We always complained, but no action was taken. The managers said they would approve the orders. Finally, two months ago I took it upon myself to order simple, cordless phones for my team. Seriously, we should be toting Blackberrys, but we've heard there are a lot of hoops to jump through to get those.

Anyway, our "Blackberry Lites" are working well for us. They really changed the dynamics of how my team works. We're more responsive to customers and colleagues. The speakerphone allows us to have a quick conference call no matter where we are. Voice mail is still an issue, but that's alright. We can speeddial the voice mail box. We feel like we're in 1995!

Recently, I was on a long conference call and I couldn't sit much longer. I paced within my cubicle, and then just walked around the office perimeter. I can run to the printer while still on the call; in the past I used to email our admin and ask her to get me a printout if I was stuck on the phone.

Later, I thought of a story about baby elephants I read. The keepers used to chain baby elephants to a post so they couldn't wander far. When the elephants grew larger, they took off the chains. The elephants didn't wander because they thought they were still shackled.

This is how I liberated I felt with my cordless phone. I wasn't shackled to my desk anymore. I should be able to explore and multitask better.

I'll take this analogy up a level and say that there are many parts of our lives where we impose the shackles on ourselves. We've been released, but we don't realize it. It's a matter of recognizing our freedom of movement and actually using it.

Last year, I had someone moan to me that he felt he was in a prison. I told him he may feel like he's in a prison, but he has the key to the door. Fortunately, I can say this person is out of his "prison" and is looking towards a more positive and promising future. For him, one critical change needed to occur, which gave him the confidence to move forward.

So, if there's something that is frustrating you, see what needs to happen for you to be free. Look down at your feet. You'll see you don't have shackles on them like you thought.

One Way of Defining Myself

In the two years that I've had this blog, Mermaid is the first person to ask me why I chose "Indigo Bubbles" as the name.

The Bubbles part is spelled out in the blog header. Writing is meditative and liberating. My blogs are like bubbles that are being blown all over the world. Like a child, I look in amazement at every bubble and enjoy what I can bring to others through my writing.

The Indigo part is more frivolous and memory-based. I always liked the word "Indigo" because of my 4th grade science project. My father helped me create a prism, discussing light and colors. He explained the colors that make up the rainbow as VIBGYOR: Violet, Indigo, Blue, Green, Yellow, Orange, Red. (Ironically, American teachers taught it in reverse as ROYGVIB.)

I was always trying to identify this elusive color Indigo, that didn't exist in my Crayola box. In college, I was fascinated by the stories of the Latin American farmers who suffered indigo poisoning.

I also like the Indigo Girls.

Then, if you want to be really crazy, you can dissect Indigo as in Indian-American.

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Addendum: Last night I realized that my wedding china is Noritake Indigo Waltz!

Online Workshop

I have a manuscript of poems that I've been peddling this year. So far, no luck. However, I did receive two comments this year that some of my poems could be workshopped further, enhance the endings.

If anyone would like to form an online writing circle, please contact me directly. I've found the online writing groups that I've done in the past helpful. Ironically, I've read drafts of work that have been published novels. (A bit frustrating because the author had ignored the group's feedback!)

It's hard to find poetry enthusiasts, but I like to write poems that anyone can understand. My intention with my poems is to reach the people who are intimidated by poetry and have them say, "I get it!"

I have no predefined purpose for the group, but hoping to see what kind of participation and interest I receive!

What Not to Say Rule #2 & #3

Do not ask a person about the number of children they have or don't have. I don't understand the intention of asking someone "Why don't you have a (or another) child?" or on the flip side "Another one!?"

What is it to anyone else outside of the couple?

There could be a plethora of reasons for a family's decision to have or not have children; some people may be in the process of fertility treatments or had complications with their last pregnancy. That's not cocktail party conversation, is it?

If for whatever reason you choose to ask, accept the person's answer. Don't provide arguments. Give the person some credit for having thought through their family planning decisions. Exactly who is raising the child/children - you or them? And, do you seriously believe you can convince them otherwise via a cocktail party conversation?

By the way, my Rule #3 is not to ask single people why they are not married. Unless you are a marriage counselor or a wedding planner looking to drum up business, there's no reason to inquire. Again, the information is so useless to you and you cannot change that person's situation.

I know single people think married people were born married and are unsympathetic, but we've been on both sides. So, when I crossed over to being a Married, I promised I would never ask anyone about their relationship status. I've been pleasantly surprised by lots of friends who announced they were getting married when I didn't even know they had someone.

In short, let people make the lifestyle decisions they have made for themselves. Unless it directly impacts you, no need to inquire or argue.

More Random Positive Energy

In my post "Happy Heart," I wrote about strangers approaching me positively and my friend predicted this would happen to me more. I have to jot 3 separate incidents. First of all, it's important to understand my personality, which is hard to convey virtually. I'm an extroverted Introvert. I can be very animated, super friendly and chatty among small groups or one-on-one. However, I don't reach out to people if I don't have a reason or context. I am happy to stay within my own boundaries. There are time when I have to psyche myself to take a step outside.

An interesting example is that I've been a member of my gym for 4 years, going up to 3x a week. I go in, work out, and leave. I say hi to the receptionist, but I don't talk to anyone, especially avoiding eye contact with trainers lest they try to loop me into some promotional deal. My husband joined the gym 6 months ago. We went to lunch at Baja Fresh and the gym people had a promotional table set up there. My husband approached them with a "Yo, man, how's it going!?", laughing and shaking hands with the manager. Then they asked me if I wanted to be a member!!

Anyway, these are the three situations of random positive energy that have come my way.

1. A few weeks ago I was walking around the neighborhood where my daughter takes her dance class. I found a thrift store and looked for some books. I chatted with another customer about a whole range of topics. A few hours later, I ran into her again at the Indian store, which I had recommended to her, since she was interested in all-things-Indian. We ended up chatting for good bit of time, exchanged emails, etc. Very positive experience meeting someone randomly!

2. Yesterday at the gym, I had some extra time to indulge in the sauna. I noticed a cell phone and eyeglasses were left on the bench. I thought the cell phone would get damaged in there, so I placed it on the counter in the locker room.

An older woman came out and asked me "Did you lose an earring?"

"No, I'm good," I said as I checked my ears.

"It's a shame to lose such a pretty earring. I found it by the shower."

"I know.. you know, I found that cell phone and glasses in the sauna." pointing to the counter.

"Oh my God! that's mine!" she said. "I can't see a thing without these. Oh my God, thank you so much!" as she grabbed the glasses and cell phone.

She was extremely relieved and we chatted a bit more. She ended it by saying, "The world needs more people like you."

Really? I thought that was such a generous compliment for something so ordinary and intuitive. Would another person just take the cell phone?

3. After the gym, I went shopping. At the store, there were two lines to purchase. The first line had 4 people with medium quantity of items and the second line had 1 person with a lot of items. I decided to take the line with 1 person. I knew I'd have to wait as she had many items that needed to be hand-wrapped up.

My sister called and I spoke with her for a minute or two. I browsed the sunglass display. I took off the hangers on my items. I looked at the woman's purchases and wondered who she was buying all these things for? Grandchildren? Daughter-in-law?

When the salesgirl rang up the other customer's order, the customer fell short in cash. So, she had to write a check. Sales girl is ringing this up. I'm just hanging out. I checked the other line and people were still waiting. So, I would've been waiting regardless of the line I chose.

Finally the woman was done with the packing and paying. She said to me, "I am so sorry.. thank you so much for your patience. You deserve a medal!"

Really? I'm just waiting here. However, I can imagine more anxious people pacing up and down, loud sighing, making noises of exasperation, calling someone on their cell phone to complain "omg, this line is taking foreeeeeverrrr!"

Maybe I'm just starting to notice these compliments and interactions. Life is freeing my attention to look externally, outside of my own space. Maybe they are coming my way for some other reason.

Either way, I'm happy that I could make someone's day a little nicer in an ordinary way, and they made my day extraordinary!

These moments are like sparklers - brief flashes of light that delight and amaze. Happy Diwali!

On the Job Training - Motherhood: The Results Episode

I'm excited these days with my 1st grader. I can't believe what a difference it is between 5 and 6. I think at 5, kids look at the world with magical goggles. At 6, they're taking off these goggles on their face and questioning them. They'll put them back on for fun, but it seems more fun to look at the world without them. I see more logic and analysis happening, as well as more eavesdropping!

One exciting event for us is her enthusiasm for reading. I remember trying to teach her to read last year and all she did was improvise or memorize the books. I knew that was ok, but I was worried because it felt like we were inching on a long road. Now, I can see persistence paid off.

I remember when she was 3, she didn't ride her tricycle well - I had to really show her how to pedal. At 4, we're still working on the "remember to pedal!" while my friend's son the same age was whizzing around on his bike. I was quite anxious at the time wondering if she'll ever ride a bike. I remember complaining to a parent of older kids, and he waved off my fears by saying once kids see other kids do it, they learn. Now, she's still on training wheels, but she enjoys riding. Again, this is the importance of patience and persistence.

I watched her tie her shoes the other day and I was amazed! We started last year by practicing on her bathrobe. The belt was thick and I could show her how to make bows. It's not easy, but it helped illustrate the process. She wanted to tie her shoes by herself, but we're in a perpetual state of rush, so I would just say, "Here let me do it." even though she wanted to try. I couldn't believe when she tied 2 shoes perfectly the other day. I just want to cheer for those moments.

Annika is still in Suzuki violin classes, and it's a bit harder this year because the class has only 2 students. The other boy is quite good, which shakes her confidence. I know Annika can be up to par if she practiced regularly. Usually, she chooses to chat, goof off or whine during her violin practices. When she chooses to focus, she's awesome! (Honestly, our violin lessons are 60% drama and 40% actual practicing).

So, when she gets down on herself for her violin or swimming or reading, I wish I could explain focus, persistence and patience to her. That in time, she will be able to handle this as deftly as she has everything else. Obviously, this means nothing in her world. So, it's more important for me to adopt that belief and attitude so I can calmly lead her (and not freak out, compare her to other kids, etc.)

Under My Umbrella

I'm not a Rihanna fan, but I like this song "Umbrella" a lot. With lyrics like these, I think a singer like Dido or Jewel could do more justice to it. There's a message in the emotions of this song, despite the catchy "ella, ella" parts. And, even then Jewel could do some of her vocal fluctuations on it.

The umbrella is such a vibrant symbol - shelter and enclosure, coupled with freedom and movement - think of Gene Kelly dancing. As a symbol, it can be stretched to represent protection from any harsh circumstance. We can all run through the rain without one, but we know we just end up sopping wet. Sometimes you have to open up your own umbrella, or accept an invitation to walk with someone under theirs.

Umbrella - By Rihanna

You have my heart
And we'll never be worlds apart
May be in magazines
But you'll still be my star
Baby cause in the dark
You can't see shiny cars
And that's when you need me there
With you I'll always share because

[CHORUS]
When the sun Shine
We shine Together
Told you I'll be here Forever
Said I'll always be your friend
Took an oath I'ma stick it out till the end
Now that it's raining more then ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my Umbrella
You can stand under my Umbrella (Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella (ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella (ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella (ella ella eh eh eh)

[VERSE 2]
These fancy things, will never come in between
You're part of my entity, Here for Infinity
When the war has took it's part
When the world has dealt it's cards
If the hand is Hard, Together we'll mend your heart
Because

[CHORUS]

[BRIDGE]
You can run into my Arms
It's okay don't be alarmed
(Come into Me)
(There's no distance in between our love)
So Go on and let the Rain pour
I'll be all you need and more
Because

[CHORUS]

It's raining
Ooh baby it's Raining
Baby come into me
Come into me
It's Raining
Oh baby it's raining

Sickest Generation?

I saw this article last week, "Are Our Kids the Sickest Generation", and I've been bothered by this a lot. My daughter has a peanut allergy, one nephew has asthma and food allergies, another nephew has a nut allergy, other friends have kids with eczema and food allergies, a colleague's son has ADHD, and a friend's toddler now has autism.

What is going on?

The only person I ever knew with a peanut allergy was my friend Jim in college. Now, my daughter has 4 kids in the 1st grade who sit at the Peanut Allergy table at lunch. My sister had eczema when she was a child, but it took years to diagnose it and she felt ostracized by it. Now, I've seen many children with patches of eczema and mothers concerned about giving medicated creams to their toddlers.

I'm not sure what's going on. It makes me angry because I know as parents, we did everything "right" during pregnancy. We stayed away from alcohol, second-hand smoke, caffeine, tuna fish, and brie. Peanut butter was a good source of protein for vegetarians. We drank milk for the protein and calcium to help our babies grow. Now our babies have milk allergies and need to have rice and soy milk.

At first I felt this is an era of better diagnosis. Adults are happy to realize they've been lactose intolerant all these years. However, the incidence level is alarming.

I don't know why this is happening, but it angers and hurts me. And, maybe there's guilt too because our foremost instinct is protect our children first. Our children are suffering because of this. There have been cases of death from allergic reactions because of hidden allergens. I read an article from Today Show and now I wonder what's wrong with me for not carrying the epi-pen with me every time we go to the mall. My vigilance for my daughter is extra high this time of year as we have to monitor all candy (Reese's and Snickers are out! Peanut M&M's scare me the most because they can be mixed in a bowl with regular ones). My daughter is attentive herself and has been questioning candy/snacks since she was 3 years old. As parents, we have to take the extra step and question restaurants whether they use peanut oil in their cooking. I learned Chik-Fil-A and Cheeburger Cheeburger use peanut oil for frying.

We don't live near toxic waste plants. Maybe there are power lines that are too close? I've read theories about ultrasounds disrupting fetus development. There is also mention of the environmental chemical overload and even microwaves. Friends and family who have children in India do not have any of these issues.

Obviously, we will all learn to deal with these physical and mental health concerns on a day to day basis. I can only hope we can stop or isolate the cause.

So Simple

"How does one become a butterfly" she pensively asked.

"You must want to fly so much that you're willing to give up being a caterpillar"

- Trina Paulus, Hope for the Flowers

What a wonderful quote! It's a simple concept, but so strong. It forces one to look at the options:

1) stay in a safe cocoon as a fuzzy gray caterpillar

2) fly and float through the air, enjoying freedom and the beauty of the world.

It's also compelling that it's part of nature, a lifecycle. Everyone has to make this change

On the Job Training: Motherhood - When Bad Lunches Happen to Good People

Now that my daughter is in school, she has the option to buy lunch or bring it from home. We read the menu the night before and decide what to do. For lunch, I've done the deli slices on bread or tortillas, chicken quesedellas, and chicken nugget sandwiches.

It's only October and she's telling me she's bored. I started looking online for options and found a colorful sandwich slideshow on Parents.com and article on Chef Todd English, who preps his son's roast chicken with basil and parsley lunch the night before. (Well, yeah, if I had 17 restaurants, I'm sure I'd have a few tricks up my sleeve.)

So, I was inspired after checking these sites. I had brown sugar-flavored cream cheese, which could go with grated carrots from a salad mix. I lightly toasted a tortilla and spread the cheese. I thought the combo tasted pretty good. A bit sweet, but still healthy.

She asked me what was for lunch and I told her, "Brown sugar cream cheese rolled up with carrots." She agreed to it. (Yeah! 1 point right there!)

In the evening, I asked her if she liked her lunch.

"No, I didn't like it. What was in it?" Apparently, there was some lettuce leaves stuck to the grated carrots and the green threw her off.

I panicked. Was she hungry all day because I didn't test-drive this sandwich first? (Bad Mom Moment ahead!)

"No, I ate some of it. But, don't ever give that to me again." she requested nicely.

"Ok, fine. I won't do it. I was trying to be creative." I replied.

"No, don't do this creative again. All I want is a bagel and cream cheese from the cold food line at school." she said determinedly.

Done. Of course, she only repeated this for another 5 minutes how she doesn't like it, don't give it EVER EVER again, etc.

I don't want her to end up eating hot dogs, bagels, nuggets and pizzas from school. So, I'm open to (nut free!) lunch ideas suitable for a picky eater -- easy to pick up, unwrap and eat.

Be A Kid Again

This is one of those lists that get forwarded all over the internet, but I liked this one because it made me pause. How much of these things do I do now, or rather could I do now? If I can't or don't, who is stopping me from doing it now? The answer is usually one of the indicators of adulthood - it might be dirty or dangerous or inconvenient or interferes with getting bills paid.

Be A Kid Again

Do a cartwheel.

* We finally finished renovating our basement after a year of work. The paint, spackle, and drywall dust were gone. The carpets were new, the walls were delicious and smooth and there were open spacious rooms. I can't tell you how much effort and work we put into it. It was a mentally and physically challenging endeavor. It was a cartwheel moment.

Walk barefoot in wet grass.

*Is there anything better!?

Play a song you like really loud, over and over.
*When Duran Duran comes on the radio, for some reason the volume just needs
to be really, really high.

Read the funnies. Throw the rest of the paper away.
*Actually, if you get the Sunday Philadelphia Inquirer, that's what you end up doing anyway.

Dot all your “i”’s with smiley faces.

Sing into your hairbrush.

Dunk your cookies.
*I used to dunk chocolate chip cookies in milk and pull out the chips. I'd make a tidy little pile of chips. Then,enjoy a big bite of the chocolate. (Now, I eat low fat ginger snaps)

Play a game where you make up the rules as you go along.

Step carefully over sidewalk cracks.

Change into some play clothes.
*If I had my way, I'd never have to change into play clothes because I'd always be wearing them!

Try to get someone to trade you a better sandwich.
*Anyone want a veggie chicken sandwich on one slice of flaxseed bread? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Eat ice cream for breakfast.
*Ok, this is my plan. Eat flaxseed bread now so I can eat ice cream for breakfast when I'm an old woman. My plan is to make life easy for myself. I'll simply tie a spoon around my neck so I don't have to bother anyone whenever I want breakfast.

Kiss a frog, just in case.
*I'm digging the Geico gecko these days. That British accent on a green lizard makes me laugh uncontrollably!

Blow the wrapper off a straw.

Have someone read you a story.

Find some pretty stones and save them.
*I do that now. I toss them into candlescapes.

Wear your favorite shirt with you favorite pants even if they don’t match.

*Ok, my family of fashionistas will probably claim that I do this already!

Take a running jump over a big puddle.

Get someone to buy you something you really don’t need.

Hide your vegetables under your napkin.

Stay up past your bedtime.

Eat dessert first.

*On hot summer days, my colleagues and I have gone to Dairy Queen for lunch and ordered awesome sundaes. Also, one of my favorite restaurants in Philadelphia is the Rose Tattoo Cafe. Their mushroom soup and desserts are awesome. There would be a group of ten of us from work, and everyone had mushroom soup. Finally we decided to go for soup and dessert only, skip the meal. I remember we confused some new people who were ordering entrees.

Fuss a little, then take a nap.

Wear red gym shoes.

Put way too much sugar on your cereal.

Make cool screeching noises every time you turn a corner.

Giggle a lot for no reason.

Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today.

*I like that idea! So much that we do goes unrecognized, not necessarily by others, but by ourselves. We get bogged down by the 10% that didn't go right, we missed appreciating the 90% that did. A former boss commented once, "You turn on the light switch every day. You only notice when the lightbulb doesn't work." I think that's so true. We don't acknowledge ourselves or the people around us for 'lighting' up when they do.

On the Job Training: Motherhood - The Ugly Duckling

I'm finding a new sense of maturity in this 6-year-old. She tends to question and evaluate more, so I know I need to be ready with my age-appropriate answers.

I was reading "The Ugly Duckling" to my daughter, which we've read dozens of times before. It's always a pretty hard story to read in my opinion because the other animals and humans are quite mean to the "ugly duckling." Everyone is so mean that baby swan that he has to go live away from the rest of society. The mother duck tried to protect her "baby", but she really couldn't be there all the time. It's only after the long and lonely winter does he come out on his own.

I read aloud, "So the ugly duckling was sad because he had no friends."

Annika stopped me, and asked, "Why does it say he has no friends? He has his mother. So he has one friend. "

I had to smile because I felt so assured about our close relationship. I was happy to see her confidence in knowing that she always has me in her corner. I told her she was right.

Happy Heart

Last weekend, I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things since I had friends coming over in the evening and a kid’s birthday party prior to that. I was shopping with my daughter, which is so stressful to me. It’s not because she’s constantly pestering to buy products conveniently located at her eye level. She's actually quite good. I’m just a super paranoid mother at the grocery store making sure she doesn’t get snatched or hurt by grocery carts. (I once read about a boy who fell from the cart and suffered head injuries and I’ve considered it a death trap since).

Anyway, this woman was carting around me and she leaned over to ask, “Excuse me, what perfume are you wearing?”

I paused and stunned because it was so unexpected. If she reprimanded me for not controlling my daughter who was running with the grocery cart I was ready. For this, I thought for a second.

“It’s Clinique Happy Heart,” I replied.

“Oh! it smells so good!” she gushed. I thanked her and she left.

I was surprised, but not really. I first received a sample of Happy Heart from my sister and wasn’t too impressed with it. Yet, I tried it and was surprised to receive many compliments. So, I eventually indulged in the full bottle. My husband says that is the fragrance that reminds him of me. I still don’t agree with it because I think Prescriptives Calyx or Lauder's Pleasures (Intense) is more like me. However, the positive responses make me continue using Happy Heart.

I casually mentioned this incident to my friend and she commented that it’s part of the positive energy that’s happening in my life.

I have always said that the way you present yourself and the energy you emit predicts the kind of people and energy you attract. Be the kind of person you want to be with. If you’re going to be grumpy and bitchy, you’re only going to attract negativity in your life.

So, what’s there to be positive about? A helluva lot!

My girlfriends and I were comparing where we were one year ago at this time and how far we’ve come with our personal and professional lives and goals. Last year, I was extremely fatigued as I was bombarded with stress and demands on the work and home fronts. I felt burdened with everyone’s problems, even that of my clients and corporation! So much of it was beyond my control. I could see the toll on my health, as well.

This year, so much has changed and things have picked up enormously. As my horoscope said, I’m on an “upward spiral.”

I haven’t won the lottery or anything. It is really smaller things that keep building on each other and building such a platform . Most of all, I’ve learned not to take anything for granted. Life is too short to think you can get a do over. But, it’s too long to hold on to the small things. That might be my mantra for 2007.

So, like my Happy Heart perfume, I’m hoping to emit some of the positive energy I feel these days.

For those who think I’m just full of it and want to keep bitching and moaning, I do have one other inspiration that my friends and I keep in mind on those days that we just want to give up.

“Nobody trips over mountains. It is the pebbles we stumble over.”

We can let little things deter us and just bring us down. And, give up. But, if we recognize them as pebbles, we just have kick them out of our shoes and move on. It’s so easy to let one problem overwhelm us.

But, I've heard the view from the top of the mountain is spectacular.

That Wierd 70's Flashback.

I'm on the treadmill at the gym. I've got "Pure Disco" playlist on my iPod, which includes classics like "The Hustle", "Fly Robin Fly," and "I Will Survive."

Looking up at the TV screen, Dorothy Hamill is chatting with Larry King about her book.

I had a weird 70's flashback. I'm 8 years old again.

Remember the Dorothy Hamill bob? It was fun, alive and easy to maintain. How easy? Why, it morphed seamlessly into the Princess Diana hair do in 1980.

Reason and Consequences

People like to say "Everything happens for a reason." Yes, I think so too, but now what? What is the reason? What are you going to do about it?

I think if life didn't kick us in the butt sometimes, we'd continue to sit happily on our fat arses. There are times when I thought my life was going down the tubes. For example, when I was 25 and had my first "real" job for two years, my director suggested I should look elsewhere for a job. They wanted to redefine my position and bring in an experienced professional. I hated her. Was mad at my boss. And, I hated myself for doing a bad job. I was used to leaving jobs on my own terms, not someone else's.

So, what was the reason that happened? I ended up at a great job in NYC, which I continued for 3 years and left on my own terms. That second job set the foundation for a career change and brought me to the career I excel in today.

If I didn't get that kick in the pants back then, I don't know what would've happened. Would I have stayed there and just waited for my boss to get promoted so I could get her job? How great was that job anyway? Where was the growth potential?

Sometimes when jobs or marriages end or health takes a downturn, it's like life putting on the brakes for you. Take a look around you. Is this where you want to go? We always have to remember we are driving our own cars. We can take it off cruise control and stop going around the block. We can move forward.. if we choose to do so.

So, some disruptive events lead us to introspection of our choices. Then, there are other events that happen and explanations are not as easy, such as death of a spouse or child or a terminal illness. Are there lessons? It's hard to say. There's a lot we don't understand and I think the reasons may not be apparent at the time. While we would love for someone to hand us the definition, it may take time to evolve and for us to grow to recognize it.

I chose the waterfall picture because my professor used to call it "Cascading Consequences." The source of the water is one. It starts in one stream, flowing in the same directions. Then, as it goes over the edge, the rocks and earth take it into different directions.

One event may happen and it will lead to multiple streams and flows. As it goes over the edges, it reaches out and touches more rocks and plant life than it would have had it gone straight.

So, when certain events happen and there's no logical reason for it, it's really a cascading consequence - something we can't see but know it's going in many directions.

Notes to Myself

Back in college, we were told to be "active readers." We underlined special phrases, check marked certain paragraphs while we read. When we discussed the work, we still remained active readers. We jotted notes in margins "Empowerment" "Fidelity" "societal ideal" " Oppressive marriage" Once I deflowered a book by reading it, it becomes a special possession.

One such book is "When I am an Old Woman" anthology. I bought this book when I was just out of college and loved the poetry, prose and photography. This book is expressions by women regarding the experience of aging, enduring life events such as death of a spouse or parent or just living on a fixed income. It's beautifully written, though it is not the most uplifting book. The publishers had issued additional anthologies by Sandra Martz, which I have ("I Am Becoming the Woman I've Wanted", "If I Had My Life to Live over I Would Pick More Daisies and "If I Had a Hammer: Women's Work in Poetry, Fiction, and Photographs.") I found the first one to be definitely the best one.

I was organizing my bookshelf a few weeks ago and I flipped through this book. I was really surprised reading the sections I had asterisked and checked.

In a way, it was the 30-something me was looking at a note from 20-something me. Poetry is so personal and it grabs one at the right moment. Seeing the notes confirms that I had felt some connection or recognition when I read it.

Looking over the notations on selected works, I sense her uncertainty and her skepticism about relationships, but she's still a romantic. I'm pleased to see her confidence and acceptance of an aging body, and the appreciation of the wisdom of elders.

There's a poem by Michele Wolf called "For my Mother" and it begins "I sharpen more and more to your likeness every year, your mirror.."

There are no marks on the page. More than likely, 20-something me never read it. No..she read the whole book. There's an obvious denial of any resemblance to my mother. Actually, that resistance is still there. However, if she had read it all the way through, she would've seen the graceful shift in the poem where she fights it and wants to turn it around, to avoid repeating the same history. And, she wants to help her mother change both of their fates. That's the major difference between me then and now. Today, I realize my mother has a point of view, especially as I am a mother and I have a definitive point of view.

I like these little notes that fall out of books. It shows me how much I've changed, and how much I haven't.

*The above image is called Young Woman Writing a Letter (detail), Encre Marquet, 1892. Image courtesy Library of Congress, Prints and Photographs Division.

Frida Kahlo

"I paint self-portraits because I am so often alone, because I am the person I know best."
- Frida Kahlo (1907-1954 )

I watched a 2005 documentary on Frida Kahlo the other night and like always, I'm inspired by her spirit and in awe of her art. Because Kahlo is such a personal painter, knowing the backstory helps one understand and appreciate the complexities she's expressed through her art.

She's become part of pop-culture, which is a double-edged sword. She becomes the "that lady with the unibrow" to some. Then, hopefully she piques the curiosity of other. So rather than being forgotten, her story and her art lives on (albeit on a mug).

I was introduced to her years ago in my "Third World Artists" class in college. (Note: It was the oddest class I ever took because the professor complained westerners did not appreciate third-world artists and recognized the European Renaissance as the only artistic renaissance that ever existed. Yet, all he did was show art documentaries and leave. We didn't even discuss anything! All the students congregated in the hallways afterwards to discuss what we saw.)


The documentary spurred my interest in her and I'm sharing two paintings I found online.

The Love-Embrace of the Universe, (1949) This is intriguing because she's infantilized her husband, Diego Rivera. It's ironic because they had a significant age difference and she married him in her early 20's. He called her his "child." Along the way, her maturation and growth surpassed his. I like how she recognizes her place in the universe, knowing that there are higher beings and ancestors who have cradled and nurtured before. She nestles herself and Diego into this lap, showing the balance of moon and the sun. This is also a tribute to her Latin American heritage, which acknowledges the power of a female deity in nature. I know Latin American cultures have strong images of fertility goddesses in their artwork. (Note: my final project for my Third World Artists class was the comparison of ancient Mexican fertility art forms to a modern Israeli artist who depicted childbirth in metal sculptures).

Thinking of Death (1943) is a self-portrait and its significance is quite apparent with such a title. Kahlo suffered greatly in a bus accident in her 20's and spent years hospitalized for reconstructive surgeries. Also, she was hospitalized for lost pregnancies though childbirth would have resulted in her death. In this picture, she paints herself among the lush greenery, while death is always on her mind.

I think one thing misleading about her paintings is the serious look she has. After seeing Salma Hayek in Julie Taymor's "Frida," I felt her true personality was revealed. She was an artist, a charismatic and alluring woman who enjoyed life. She loved her country and her people. Her relationship with Diego was tough due to his infidelity. However, she had affairs with men and women, which indicates a separation from the traditional role of a Mexican wife. Even as an artist, she tried to mimic her husband's style and ambitions, but she couldn't. She had to be true to her own creative leanings.

Even in this biography,they showed a film clip of her tucking flowers in her hair, making that famous band of flowers across her head. I just loved that image of her, being herself and creating herself.

In a way, for all the pain her body and heart had sustained, she was fortunate to have the a creative outlet. She had the passion to express her emotions and thoughts, most of which did not make sense to her or others. But,it did what it was supposed to do.

Books, Books, Books

So, I don't normally post these "meme" type things on my blog. There's enough about me on here anyway. So, Sir RibbonFarms publicly tagged me and I have to do the honorable thing and respond.

~ Book that changed your life – Gandhi An Autobiography: The Story of My Experiments With Truth (yes, as corny as it may sound, it helped lead me onto the road of vegetarianism).

~ Book you've read more than once – Jane Eyre I have read it and watched the films at different points in my life and have found myself relating to different aspects of it each time. Also, listened to "Wouldn't Take Nothing for My Journey Now" by Maya Angelou. My father had commented that the life lessons in this book were more inspiring than listening to lectures by some religious leaders.

~ Book you'd take to a deserted island - I'm going to steal Toni Morrison's response to this question. When asked this question, she replied she would want paper to write her own book. I feel the same way. I'd have to create my own book. And, if I were on a deserted island then I would have the peace and quiet that I so need in my life to net all those stories in my head onto paper!!

~ Book that made you laugh – David Sedaris "Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim". I sat in the waiting room at ballet with my mouth covered because I wanted to laugh out loud, especially about the Christmas traditions in Holland.

~ Book that made you cry – "A Fine Balance" by Rohinton Mistry, "Nectar in a Sieve" by Kamala Markandaya and "The Joy Luck Club" by Amy Tan (the mama leaving the twins behind on the side of the road so she wouldn't curse them with her dead body.. oh my god..just thinking about it is overwhelming!)

~ Book you wish you had written – "The Namesake" or "Interpreter of Maladies" because they ain't all that. (Let me know if anyone can give me a lift to that deserted island)

~ Book you wish had never been written – This is a tough question for me because I believe every book that exists should have been written. The only one that comes to mind is that OJ Simpson tell-all book.

~ Book(s) you're currently reading – Just finished "The Brick" journal, which had various short stories and interviews. I was especially taken by Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.

~ Book you've been meaning to read – 3 Salman Rushdie, 2 Amitav Ghosh and 1 Kiran Desai books on my bookshelf.

~ Book you've been meaning to finish – "Fury" by Rushdie, "The Fellowship of the Rings" by Tolkien. Both books have such intense language and meaning, and require focus.


So, now I will tag bloggers Zen-Denizen, TAAMommy, Appletina, Phoenix, Jane, and Disha to continue their list!

Movie Review: The Blue Umbrella

We watched this film by Vishal Bharadwaj, which was based on a children's short story by Ruskin Bond.

While this film is dubbed a children's film, it's really made for adults. There is a lot of singing and dancing by kids in the beginning, and then the story takes a slower pace. I'm not sure if today's children can sit through the slower scenes. Even the grown up children in the room wanted it to move a little bit more. But, the topic and story is ideal for a patient and reflective child.

It's a simple and uncomplicated story, set in a small village in Himachal Pradesh. A little girl chances upon a blue umbrella and makes a valuable trade for it. She receives lots of attention from the villagers. Actor Pankaj Kapur plays a stodgy storeowner who sets about to procure it and receive the same accolades and attention.

The messages in the story are important. We saw the umbrella as just an umbrella. The villagers saw this as something more - so it's challenging for us to change perspective and try to empathize with the characters.

There's also the grander message about ego and pride, and the risks involved when ethics are abandoned to attain fame. I would add that this movie showed the power of one little girl, which illustrates how critically woven lives are.

The movie is visually appealing with backdrop of beautiful mountains and the snow. Now that I think about it, the pace of the movie is reflective of the life of the characters. Things move slowly. Seasons move quickly, but people's attitudes and customs do not change.

This film relies on lots of quiet scenes and cute snapshots, as if the viewer were tourists in this village. For filmmakers, I don't know if it's more challenging creatively to adapt a large novel (e.g., Harry Potter V-VII) or to take a short story ("Brokeback Mountain" "Cat in the Hat") and pull it into a full feature length film.

It does have a happy ending, a moral and peaceful resolution - promoting the abandonment of material and embracing humans.

Parenting Articles

Here are quick links to parenting articles that I've published on the South Asian e-zine ABCDLady.com. I don't feel the concerns of my generation of Indian-Americans in the role of parents has been addressed anywhere. Not only are we balancing homes, family, career, but traditions and culture. Also, we have to balance the expectations from our family, our friends and ourselves. It's not easy, is it?

Making the Most of Summer, July 2006
Television's Impact on Our Children, Aug 2006
ABC's of Being a Class Parent, Sept 2006
It's About Time (Management), Oct 2006
Making Time for Yourself, Nov 2006
Celebrating Holidays, Dec 2006
Indulge Me!, Jan 2007
It's Your Birthday! We're Gonna Party! Mar 2007
Exploring Preschools, April 2007
Advice to a New Mother, May 2007
Summertime Fun and Vacation with Kids, June 2007
Accommodating Food Allergies, July 2007
Parenting Q&A on Behaviors, Aug 2007

Due to the e-zine format, I wasn't able to generate dialogs or receive comments from readers. I hope you'll share your thoughts here!

Chihuly at Phipps Conservatory, Pittsburgh

We've been fans of Dale Chihuly's works for a number of years. We've admired his chandeliers at casinos and other random places. We've seen small pieces at various art shows and shops. The innate need to possess beauty and grace grips us, and we vow we will buy one. Yes, what the heck! Let's do it! Then we notice the price tag and we just step away..very..very..carefully.. (don't break it or we'll have to buy it!).

Addendum: Check out Artsy.com's section on Dale Chihuly's work and find the next shows.

I watched a documentary on his work in Venice once and was amazed by the effort involved. He has a team of artisans and glassblowers, working with fire and tools. They use the simple time-tested tools, but the styles definitely beckon a new age. The program noted that it takes two glassblowers to make each of the elongated glass "reeds" with one person holding while the other stretches and shapes. I couldn't even begin to count how many of these dotted the exhibition.

We went to Phipps Conservatory in Pittsburgh where a Chihuly exhibit was integrated into the botanical gardens. Walking into every room was a delight -- there was a flash of color, vibrancy and life that went beyond the natural beauty, but at the same time it seemed part of it.

I mentioned to our friends that the artwork is making this a delightful tour because you never know what you'd find in the next room. One of my friend felt the opposite - more affinity toward the plants and trees. I decided I probably felt more excitement for the art because I have been to Longwood Gardens in PA a few times and found it more impressive.




Check out this "lotus" chandelier and the glass flowers blooming in the pond.














This was stunning -- a canoe filled with glass balls. The positioning of this under the skylight was breathtaking. The glass balls appear to float.

This is called the Fiori Sun and was set in the butterfly room. The line leading up to this piece was long and slow. We thought people were watching the butterflies, and then we saw this after the bend. After this piece, the line just disappeared! This design is what most of his chandeliers look like - wild flames of light.








This was in the Thailand Room, and I loved it for the integration of glass into the natural decor. Why shouldn't there be cobalt blue plants?










We had walked through a Desert, a Japanese Garden and an English Room. Then I walked into the East Room, I felt wonderful. I felt as if I could just sit here and relax. The colors were soothing.. the water was trickling to its own gentle rhythm.. the sunlight was hitting everything just perfectly. I don't know what it is, but I was quite surprised.


These are just a few of the pictures we took, but check out the main website for Phipps Exhibit to see more crazy sculptures.

Basking in Masking

I think each of us possess three personas.
1. The person we truly are.
2. The person we’d like others to see us as.
3. The person others see.

I always find it fascinating when someone describes himself with “I’m really such an easy going person” as he spends five minutes telling a waiter how his order should be prepared, practically rewriting the menu. And, the person who claims “I really have simple tastes” as she doles out her platinum credit card for a D&G handbag.

How often do we tell other people things so we believe it ourselves? Do we repeat it hoping to convince ourselves of the truth?

Sometimes repeating the wrong thing can be powerful. For example, someone believes they can’t do something or don’t have it in them to do something, the repetition only drives it in further. “I’m not good enough to make it.” If you repeat it enough, you do believe it and become it.

Watching a talented person put himself or herself down is just as frustrating as watching the ‘simple’ D&G girl prattle. So, who really sees or knows the real person?

Maybe the skeptic in us pries through the layers to find the core persona. The woman who is bitter and bitchy all the time is really alone and the hardness only protects her. We look to our personas as a survival mechanism. These bright faces are put on in the morning so we can protect and leave the soft wrinkled one behind.

That's why the best photographs of people are when they are caught off guard. They drop their plastic smiles and for an instant, the camera captures a person -- the real person, whose face and expressions may be unrecognizable to the owner.

This topic has been on my mind with recent interactions. I wish some people close to me could see themselves the way I see them. It would probably be revitalizing to drop the facades.

Then again, they probably wish the same of me.