Rhythms of India: Nandalal Bose Exhibit

The Philadelphia Art Museum had an exhibit of Indian artist Nandalal Bose, which combined paintings from San Diego and New Delhi.

This was my first exposure to this period of Indian artwork. Bose benefitted from the artistic cultivation from Tagore's school Santiniketan. He strove to build the Indian cultural identity in art by drawing inspiration from Hindu mythology and local villagers and tribes.

For a sampling of the artwork presented, check this slideshow. There were many paintings, which were absolutely beautiful. I was pleasantly surprised to see the influence of Chinese and Japanese painting techniques in the artwork. I never realized there was such a mesh.

By the way, this was my daughter's first visit to the art museum. She was excited to see the Indian art and recognized Bose's religious images of Lakshmi, Shiva and Krishna. She questioned why they looked different, so I tried to explain "artistic interpretations" to her.

Both of us were fascinated by this painting, "Annapurna." The side description explained this was Bose's comment on a 1943 famine in Bengal. Annapurna as Shiva's wife (Parvati) represents nourishment and abundance of food. In this painting, she has the bowls of rice that she's offering. Shiva is dancing, which represents destruction. However, this Shiva has a skeletal appearance, which emphasizes death. And, he has an outstretched hand.


The museum had a short film on the history of Santiniketan and how students were encouraged to look at the world around them for inspiration.

It was nice to see black and white images in this film of students, teachers and also the tribal villagers. This painting shows girls walking through the woods, and I could almost touch them. The landscapes of Bengal are so distinct in all these paintings - rolling hills, waves from the ocean and the trees that stand straight.

It was exciting to learn that Bose was a man who was touched by Rabindranath Tagore and M.K. Gandhi - the two men who uphold India's torch in the light world history. Tagore guided Bose, while Gandhi encouraged Bose's contribution to preserving Indian artistic and cultural heritage.

Children Need to Play

This piece on Children and Play was on NBC Today Show yesterday and it's interesting to me on many levels. First of all, my daughter and I participated in this exact study the Temple University Infant Lab. I ended up on their mailing list and they would periodically call when there was a study for her age group. So, she was about 3 or 4 when we went to the lab for this one. We read a normal Dora book and then we read an electronic Dora book, as we were filmed. I received a note this was going to be on TV, so I definitely watched. It's great to see this study come to fruition.

The other reason I was engaged in this story was because I am trying to figure out activities for my daughter in this fall. I only do weekend classes, never a weeknight due to work and school. I'd rather run around Saturday morning because we need that time at home during the week. We hardly have that much time to do homework, dinner and relax. So, I say no to playdates during the week, too.

We already have violin lessons (to supplement the school lessons). She'll have her Indian classes on Sunday afternoon, which requires time and homework. Do I put her in singing/dancing class again?What about focusing on singing lessons? (I can't tell you how many people have been pushing me for that once they hear her belt out Miley Cyrus song.) But, she wants the singing/dancing. What about ice skating? She enjoyed skating that last winter, but they didn't have classes available. Just a few weeks of lessons will help her get some confidence on the ice. She's not in any competitive sports or activities? Should she be? My husband keeps talking about Kumon classes (that's a blog by itself!)

I watched this episode. Breathe, baby, breathe.

I haven't made any decisions yet. I need to think about this some more. The benefits to these activities is there. She has friends at these classes and she's got a bit of pride. "I play violin!" "I was in a show!" She still talks about knowing karate from a free month we did at a karate school 2 or 3 years ago. I will admit, the language classes are the only she has a problem with, but that's a separate issue.

The only decision I can make now is that we need to talk as a family on what we want to do.

Zen Shorts Review

Jon J. Muth's book "Zen Shorts" is one of the most amazing children's books that I've come across.

It's beautifully illustrated with simple water colors, and it's about a large panda bear who befriends three children. There are three stories with stories within each one. The panda relates life lessons in a simple way. There's such a slowness and serenity, which stands out from the hectic hysteria of a Dr Seuss book.

They touch the values of simplicity (we're rich because we have the moon, not materials), letting go of bitterness and understanding life's every changing plan. The stories are illustrated with animals as the lead characters.

We picked this book from the library, and I started quoting those parables to my husband in an effort to pass along some of the wisdom. That's the beauty of this book - it's not just for children.

When I had a chance to buy the book, I snatched it up. When I'm in Barnes & Noble and I see someone looking for a book to buy for a new baby or young child, I always recommend "Zen Shorts" as a keepsake.

Behind Every Olympic Hero is a Mom or Dad..

The other night, Michael Phelps climbed out of the pool after breaking his own records and said to the reporter that he was looking for his mom. She's waving frantically from the stands trying to get his attention.

Beach volleyballer Misty May sprinkled her mom's ashes on the sands in Athens when she won her Gold medal. She plans to do the same this time because she shares that moment with her. Her mother was a beach Her father was watching her play from the stands, teeth clenched and watching every move to discuss afterwards.

Shawn Johnson's parents supposedly mortgaged their home twice to make sure she had coaching. There are dozens of other athletes and parents who had to move closer to the training facilities.

The commitment of fathers of the Williams sisters and Tiger Woods are legendary.

Athletes don't get to the Olympic stadium by themselves. There's a mom who's been driving to every swim meet, practice and championship event. She's been out selling cookies and wrapping paper to raise funds for the team's new uniforms. Let's not forget the financial commitment for lessons, equipment and general registration fees. Who's going to pick up? Who can drop off?

I'm not raising an Olympic athlete, and I'm exhausted!

This article in the New York Times about Deborah Phelps was absolutely moving. It's critical for a parent to find the potential in a child and channel that talent. As a single mother, she had to believe in herself and her son when all the experts were telling her the opposite.

I saw her on the Today show where she pointed out that she's not the manager, not the coach, but the mother. That is the key to success.

Remember, there's only one letter between "mothering" and "smothering"! There are plenty of sports moms and dads who are entangled in their child's wins and defeats. And, pressuring their children unbelievably. However, it seems the key is to know what your role is and to assure your child that you are there no matter what the final score is.

The Other Boleyn Girl - What the..!?

I finished Phillipa Gregory's "The Other Boleyn Girl" and was just irritated throughout the book. I only finished it to see how far she would go with this story.

I splurged on this book a few months ago - I find my literary treasures on the clearance table or at the library. Since I have such a Tudor obsession, let's go for it! Plus, there's an Eric Bana movie and I wanted to read it before the movie. (Wait for me, Eric!)

Within the first few pages, I was running to my Antonia Fraser book to look up timelines and events. When I checked online, I was happy to see that I wasn't the only one who spotted all the historical inaccuracies.

I can appreciate Phillipa Gregory's desire to bring alive a person who was forgotten by history. However, in trying to elevate Mary, the rest of the family became caricatures! Anne wasn't smart and strong, but extremely manipulative and heartless. She added modern sentiments to Mary - such as the desire to be with and raise her own children, much like Princess Diana.

I haven't seen the movie, but my father had. He was shaking his head about the story and how the Boleyn family had manipulated and used Mary and Anne as pawns. However, this was part of the author's artistic license. And, to your average viewer/reader (i.e., someone who is not going to check biographical references from 16th c.), these portrayals and stories become "factual." This novel also glossed over all the political and religious upheavals in the country.

To close with Dorothy Parker's famous words:

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

Wall-E Review

We saw Pixar's "Wall-E" recently and the group I went with had mixed reviews.

"No one talked!" said the 7-year-old, who made up for that loss during the movie.

"This was the most boring movie EVER!" proclaimed the 13-year-old.
"I feel asleep," the overworked mom admitted sheepishly.

"I kinda liked it," said the pensive 17-year-old.

As for myself, I liked it. I love looking at details in these movies and you can see they've captured so many nuances of human existance. I loved how Wall-E throws away a diamond ring for the box because it is a gadget.

There's also something about Wall-E's big eyes. I've read that humans have a natural affinity for big eyes - babies have big eyes, puppies have big eyes. When we see big eyes, instincts kick in and we are stirred. Those eyes make this trash compactor more human than some corporate executives!

The irony of this futuristic movie is the anthromorphization of the robots and how people lost their own humanity and became machines. It touches on the elements that make us human - touch, community, stars and the sky.

One problem I did notice is that for a movie about earth being lost, it looks like only Americans got saved and transported to their disaster recovery site. What happened to everyone else?

Now that Hollywood realizes their animated features are not just for kids anymore, they have to balance the subtle humor directed towards adults and entertain children. I noticed a lot of online reviews talk about Rubik's Cube, which triggers recogniton in adults. Even 750 years from now, it'll still be frustrating. There are lots of resemblances to "Star Wars," which gives the ship some familiarity to the adults. (We all know there are trash compactors aboard these starships)

Here's an article by Ben Burtt who did the sounds for Wall-E, as well as that other beloved Hollywood robot, R2D2.

Bubbles (My Poetry) Eclipse

I had a great reading at Robin's Bookstore last week where I was one of the 3 featured poets in the Philadelphia Poets Journal's Annual Ethnic Voices event. It went really well and I was inspired to share more of my poems on this site and in future poetry events.
Here are two new poems:

Eclipse

When the moon finally
asked the earth to dance
he gazed into her oceans as
she locked her eyes upon
his marble beauty.
They leaned in closer
and blocked the sun and stars.

Moonlight

Moonlight just happens.
It's a naughty, decadent light
that breaks the rules.
There are brazen lines of blue and silver
luminescence where there should be shadows.
Not the clear yellow light of the sun,
but droplets from the wanton satellite.

Pool Safety

Please watch this important video about children and pool safety. I've discussed this with my daughter and will be forwarding this to her camp.

Annual Philadelphia Poets' Ethnic Voices

Annual Philadelphia Poets' Ethnic Voices

This will be my first public reading of my work. I'm still trying to decide what poems to select, since this is a multicultural event. Most of my work isn't related to my ethnicity, but to other influences.

If you're in town, please come and be part of my cheering section!

Let's Talk About S&TC (Addendum)

I gave everyone 2 weeks now to see the movie. We did the ritual that thousands of other women did across the country on opening night. My girlfriends and I left the kids with the fathers, dressed up in our favorite kid-unfriendly clothes and shoes, toting the cute handbags that were pushed aside for diaper bags. We watched the movie, had martinis and good food off a menu that did not serve chicken nuggets and fries.

So, definitely, the new Sex and The City movie was enjoyable, light and fun. However, I was disappointed. One of the things I loved about the series was the writing. It was smart, witty and concise. Within a half an hour, so much happens in a story. For example, the show starts with Samantha claiming she wants breast implants. By the end of the show she discovers she has cancer and is going for treatments.

This movie had potential. I think that's where the disappointment lies for many of us. Only Carrie and Miranda had full blown stories created for them. Their men had rich scenes that made them human. Samantha and Charlotte were supporting roles.

Let's take Charlotte's story. She adopted an Asian child who she is raising Jewish, we presume. Is the only thing in their life reading fairy tales and dressing up? Does she have no concerns or challenges being a new mother? How about showing that it's not perfect or she doesn't have the answers? Harry is pretty much a dork in this movie. I loved him when they met - he was full of fire! He's so watered down now.

As for Samantha's character, what exactly does she do all day? As a Hollywood agent, she should be taking on more clients, shouldn't she? Also, did she just drop him flat without an agent too? What about the cancer treatments? I thought she was becoming an advocate for breast cancer.

The last episode of the show was really well done and tied everything together so well. Kind of disappointing that 4-5 years later, Big and Carrie just now got to the marriage part and Samantha and Smith were also going nowhere. I felt bad for Smith and Carrie - both hanging around commitmentphobes for so long.

I'm one of the minority who wanted Carrie to go for the Russian. His maturity and romance was enticing. I was always less sympathetic to Big. If he wanted to be with her, he would've. Stop all this natak for ten years! As my friend always said, it only proved to women that if you wait around for a jerk long enough, he'll come around. Not exactly.

Another disappointment my suburban friends and I had watching this movie was the lack of NYC in it. "Where is Barney's!?" one of my friends bemoaned. We missed it.

As per the much celebrated fashion, it was incredible. The whole audience was sighing and swooning with each wedding gown Sarah Jessica wore. However, after giving Sarah Jessica Parker 81 outfits, they still had a lot to show off. So, let's throw in a Fashion Week and get real models. They used to say NYC was the 5th main character, but in this movie Vivienne Westwood became the 5th.

Judith Warner from the New York Times wrote this interesting blog tying the media attitudes towards Hillary Clinton with the modern roles in "Sex and the City."

Anyway, I'll probably watch this again because I love the characters as old friends. I was quite crushed when the series ended because I was losing them. I first turned it on when Miranda was expecting. I loved her openness about her feelings of pregnancy and motherhood. I loved her complaints about breastfeeding, instead of making it all a perfect and holy experience.

I will say that some lines were stuck in my head and still funny. "I put a bird in my head"

Addendum

Found one more interesting article in Newsweek talking about the vicious bashing by people who haven't seen it. I had a similar discussion with someone: "What's surprising is the lengths men go to push Carrie off her Manolos. "How much do you want to bet 'Sex and the City' drops 70 percent this weekend," said a guy colleague of mine, gleefully."

True, why do you even care?

The author Ramin Setoodeh brings up a good point about the role of women in the Hollywood:

Not just because they're usually sidelined as the blinking love interest (Gwyneth Paltrow in "Iron Man" or Liv Tyler in "The Incredible Hulk"). The blog "Women and Hollywood" features telling statistics: last year only five of the top 50 films of the year had major roles for women. Only 15 percent of directors, producers, writers and high-ranking staff are female. Thelma Adams, film critic for US Weekly, tells the site, "The point here is can women open movies? Meryl Streep can't. Jodie Foster can't. Julianne Moore can't. Julia Roberts can't." But Carrie? Yes she can.

Why Not?

I think the problem we have in our lives is we ask "Why?" too much -- Why do you want to do that? Why go through that trouble? Just leave it alone. We really should be asking "Why not?" - Why not? Let's give it a shot.

Called it!
Yep, we called it last March when we saw "In the Heights" on Broadway. Now they've won a Tony award for Best Musical. We told you it was good! We've seen the big shows and we knew this was different. Check out the acceptance speech for Best Score. Good luck getting $27 tickets like we did. (Doing a little dance here)

What I find most inspiring about this play is not on stage - it's the people and talent behind it. The story was born by young writer (Quiara Alegría Hudes) who wrote about a NYC neighborhood, close to the heart. With Miranda's lyrics and music, this was originally performed at Wesleyan University. They had something original, which was recognized as fresh.

So not only did they make it happen, they took it all the way! This is what happens when you ask "Why not?"

Occasional Quote

Just heard on a commercial for Laughing Cow cheese:

Have you laughed today?

Think about it.

Do it.

Surviving the Suzuki Concert

We had a Suzuki violin concert this week and when we came home, I just crashed on the couch! We've had rehearsals since last week, which required me to leave work at 3:30 (had to walk out of meetings), pick her up from one school and shuttle to another.

Last year in Kindergarten, her role in the concert was minimal, more of a demonstration. She doesn't even recall going to rehearsals. Also, during the concert last year Annika was extremely unfocused, looking around at everyone, missing her cues. We were quite frustrated.

As I said in a previous post, the difference between Kindergarten and First Grade is huge. This year, she had Twinkle variations and 3 songs under her belt. We were given a 4th song to learn, but not for the concert. I decided we would focus on refining the 3 songs. The other boy in her class, Andrew, is very good and picked up the 4th song.

A Suzuki concert is based on the Suzuki philosophy . They start with the advanced songs and continue to the beginner songs. They announce each song and whoever can play those songs will go to the stage.

In the parking lot, I saw two boys (1st and 3rd grade) getting out of their car. The older boy was hanging off the station wagon and trying to climb to the roof . (Since I don't have a boy, I don't get this urge they have to climb vehicles. I remember Annika at 3 giving her friend a bizarre look when he was climbing a car - what is wrong with you?) I felt a little bad for the mom who was trying to lock the car, balance the violins and pull these two boys off her car in the middle of the street.

On stage, these two boys were brilliant! The younger one walked around as if the violin was part of him. They both played at least 1-2 years ahead of their peers. They really were talented and serious when it came to music.

Anyway, at the previous night's rehearsal, the teacher asked Andrew (the classmate who knew the 4th song) to play on stage with the group. When they announced the 3rd song, Annika walked up to the stage. She was very excited and proud walking up there. Then she realized no one else walked up with her. She was distracted and worried, so she played badly.

I was feeling for her, and also blaming myself -- we should've practiced more, why didn't I teach her the 4th song, how can I make practices more interesting, why don't I leave work early so we have more time, I'm not supportive and loving enough during practices (I yell, threaten, beg, plead).

That night, Annika and I practiced a lot. She wanted to learn the 4th song so she could play it on stage the next day. I told her we could try it, but she won't be allowed to play on stage. Since the class stands on risers to perform, she stood on a stepstool at home.

The evening of the show was hectic and a lot of rushing to be there by 6:40. Unfortunately, family called that morning to say they couldn't make it for various reasons, though they were there in spirit. My husband was an hour away at a meeting. I was the cheering section.

Annika looked very pretty in a lavender spring dress and purple nailpolish ("Isn't it beautiful?" she said breathlessly). Once we got there, I had her warm up to the songs. One of the songs, she practiced in pieces, not completely. I had a flashback to my junior year in high school. I had to recite a French poem for a language competition. I kept rehearsing it in pieces, not completely. When the moment arrived, I stammered and forgot the poem. It was horribly humiliating and the biggest public speaking lesson of my life.

I told Annika to play the song in entirety. My mantra to her is "the more you practice, the better you are." She argued and said she didn't want to do that. I let her go. I have to, right?

The evening opened with one of the principals announcing she was a Suzuki parent, too. "I remember when my son was in 1st and 2nd grade and learning the cello. I used to hit the book on the floor so I wouldn't hit him! I know that's not the way to teach, but it was so hard. I must've done something right since he played all the way through high school and now is at L. College."

So it's not just me?

As we waited, Annika was bouncing and squirming in her seat. She whispered excitedly her stomach was in knots. When the 4th song came, she whispered that Andrew did not go and he was going to walk with her! However, she told me she noticed some other kids had walked up alone, too. So either way, she was fine. She needed that boost of confidence.

She was excellent! She wasn't distracted by the audience, played in step with everyone and really did her best. My husband arrived during the Twinkle finale, which has the children strolling and playing their violins. Her eyes lit up when she saw him. We all had punch and refreshments afterwards.

Do you see why I came home and crashed on the couch with a glass of wine?

Tudor Me

What a brilliant idea! Where else can you find adultery, political conspiracy, religious power plays, innocent executions than 16th century England? Plenty of opportunities for busted corsets, toppled heads and stunning costumes and tiaras.

I've started watching "The Tudors" during Season 2 and am totally absorbed. I read Antonia Fraser's book "The Wives of Henry VIII" a few years ago. I don't read historical nonfiction, but I was captivated by these historical events and the people involved. So, I considered myself somewhat of a "Henry VIII authority".

Now, with this series, Anne Boleyn lives again (full headed). I'm absolutely impressed with Jonathan Rhys Meyers who I still remember as the cute soccer coach that kissed Parmindar Nagra in "Bend it Like Beckham."I loved him in Woody Allen's "Matchpoint," where he really stepped up to the character portrayal. Now, as King Henry, his acting is flawless - he'll do a small movement such as a flick of a wrist or raise of an eyebrow. I'm always impressed with actors who show ranges of expressions on their face, not their words.
Then, there's Natalie Dormer who is devastatingly cute, but so passionate in every sense. She's brought Anne Boleyn alive as the woman who could persuade a king to create his own church and laws at any cost. And, she becomes a woman who steps into her role as Queen of England so confidently. I'm really going to miss her. We have to wait for Katherine Howard to come along for some more passion.

Now, there was a piece on NPR some time ago that history scholars were upset by the historical inaccuracies. The show's screenwriters say they're exercising creative license. I won't make a fuss that they changed a Mary to a Margaret because there already was one Mary. However, the language strikes me odd when they use modern curses and humor. For example, someone made a flippant remark about "bondage" as a kinky fetish. Yet, in 1500's, bondage was an interrogation technique. Also, if they used the swear words of that era, it won't have the same impact on the audience of today. It was religious blasphemies that were powerful, while today it's more sexual nature.

There as also a woman who protested the Catholic Church and she talked about their influence on people's bodies. I thought that was anachronistic.

One thing I remember from the book how complicated the King's "administration" became with every new wife. It was as if there's a new wave over the land, as his moods changed.

It's great to have a series that transports you to a different time and place.

If there are fans out there, can someone explain to me who the woman is that has to travel in a box? I missed something there.

Shaping Our Daughters

Grrls Can Do Anything -Right?
I've mentioned before that my daughter is a Hillary Clinton fan, and now there's a change in direction of the political winds. This is a good article,"The Hillary Lesson" by Peggy Orenstein on the impact of Hillary's campaign on our daughters.


Girls in white dresses with blue satin fishnets?
I've talked about the issue of media and self-esteem and being the antiBratz mom . I would encourage and invite the whole group of Disney Princesses than one slutty Bratz doll. Here's another interesting article "Little Girls Gone Wild" and how the marketers are aiming lower and influencing girls' images of their own sexuality and self.

Positive Momentum

Our lives go through cycles. And with each rotation, something new comes out -- we're much dizzier, but we know how to regain our balance better!

There's a quote from the dumbest source, the soap opera "General Hospital" that I remember from years ago: "Good times end just like bad times." I always keep that in mind when going through a bad period. Maybe that's the source of super-optimism. I shouldn't neglect to say it adds to my worries when things are good, I wonder how it will end.

This week has been rough with a midnight call from an old friend whose husband passed away after an illness. I've been crying for the mothers who pulled their lifeless babies out of the earthquake rubble in China.

On the other hand, I received an invitation to read my poetry in public reading this summer. (Will post details later!!). The people in my inner circle are making excellent strides in career and personal relationships. A few months ago, they were frustrated and negative about their situation, which inevitably takes a toll on their self-confidence. They asked, "How much longer do I have to take this?" And, the bad times ended.

When I learned to drive, my father complained I jerked a lot on the highway, especially over bends. We were on a roadtrip and he was jostled awake when he was to rest. He said, "These roads are designed by highly skilled engineers. Trust them that they know where they're going." In a way, I let go of trying to control the car and let the road lead me along the bends. I got it!

I applied that advice to the "road of life." We need to know where we're going, but we have to trust that we'll get there.

My father had another driving analogy. On the way to college, he said "Life is like driving on a highway. People will pass you, you'll overtake others. But you know where you're going and need to get there. Don't worry about them." So, when people start fretting about other's successes, I remember we're all cars on a highway and we'll just get where we need to.

My father also taught us how to change tires so we wouldn't get stuck. Fortunately, I haven't had to apply that advice. Thank you, AAA!

Indigo Bubbles - The Green Issue

Every single magazine I pick up has a "Green" issue (once you remove the plastic wrapping encasing the magazine). By the way, the plastic wrap is there due to the loose postcards and inserts. Advertisers find it effective and the Post Office finds it annoying, which leads us to the plastic wrap. (Think of how much plastic and money they would save if the magazine publishers didn't have to spend on the extra step prior to mailing. Someone should do a Cost Benefit Analysis on this against the profit raised by the fall out postcard.)

Anyway, I've become very cognizant of my carbon foot print. And, living my suburban yuppie lifestyle, I've tried to incorporate a few measures.

We have an issue without garbage pick up. Our waste management company offers recycling pick up, but they've never come. We believe it's the awkward location of our house. Sadly, we have not been recycling. However, I'm remedying that situation!

o Newspapers and magazines come with me to work. My company recycles huge quantities of paper, and there's an agreement with the recycling company where we receive a bit of kick back from them based on the quantities. We use those extra funds for pizza for the holiday party. So, now my garage is clean, my company gets a little extra and paper gets recycled! Win-win-win!

o I am carrying my canvas totes to the store. I'm trying to leave them in the car so I have them when I need them. I found these bags shoved in my closet since they are freebies from conferences. These are excellent for heavy items like juice and milk! As for the plastic bags, my grocery store has a recycling bin. So, I'm collecting those in the garage, too. When shopping at the mall, I refuse new bags if I can combine into one bag.

o With the change of seasons, my daughter's growth spurts (and my recent weight loss!), I'm removing a lot of old clothes from our closets. I save some as giveaways to friends/family, or else I drop them off at the clothing collection boxes in the area. My husband likes using my daughter's soft old cotton tees for polishing the car.

o At work, my water bottle is a Snapple bottle with a rubber cover. This is great because I have dropped the bottle on occasion so the cover protects it. Plus, it's better to use the glass bottle since it can be washed.

o Plastic containers, oh how we desi women love them! I've got yogurt and sour cream containers, and a whole line of matching containers from Gourmet Wok. Ideal for takeaways after a dinner party. When my kitchen drawer becomes too full, I move them to my basement. I usually share my store with my mother who somehow loses the best of her containers. I also use rectangular containers for drawer separator as well as for small toys.

There have been other daily things we've done for years that are considered "being green."

o Before Select-A-Size paper towels, we were tearing paper towels in half to use. Also, get double uses out of one towel - if a towel was used to wipe a glass, use the same towel to wipe the counter or floor since it's a little wet. I realized the impact of this action when we had a family member staying with us and I needed to replenish the paper towel roll more frequently.

o Turning off excess water when brushing teeth or washing dishes. I've been aware of this since I returned from India in college. I realized how fortunate we are to having running water and try to use it wisely.

o Reuse plastic utensils. This is another Indian thing, which makes sense now.

o Share the love at work. We're particularly conscious of throwing away food when so many people don't have it. So, I bring in extra packets of teas, soy sauce, cookies, or whatever that comes my way and leave it in the lunchroom. It'll be gone before noon.

o Adopt Feng Shui . We're Feng Shui enthusiasts, and one of the key factors is to remove clutter. We try not to bring in new stuff unless there's a place for it. And, there has to be right place.

o Share the love with friends. Just about all of Annika's baby equipment (crib, bassinet, strollers, entertainers, chairs) are distributed among friends. We joke about how many babies have slept in her bassinet, since the average use is 4-5 months. I share the children's books she has outgrown, too. Her shelf is cleaner and has more space for the new books. Plus, it helps her learn to give and share. She gets very excited about designating who gets which book.

o We've been using fluorescent bulbs for a few years now, since we found them at Ikea.

o Save on office supplies. Currently, I've been receiving FedEx packs with CD inside. The sender is putting the CD in a bubble envelope and not really sealed. So, I'm saving those envelopes and I can slap a label and tape it up.

Visit Earth911 for lots of ideas. You can also plug in your zip code for recycling centers and services. Check out How Can I Recycle This for creative solutions.

John Adams Series

We've been actively engaged in the HBO series, "John Adams." If you haven't seen this, catch it On-Demand or the DVD whenever it's out. It's filmed so vividly and realistically. Paul Giamatti and Laura Linney are sublime as John and Abigail Adams. They are true actors as they became these two real people - gave them a breath, a body and flaws. I'm not a history buff and I had to dig into my memory from freshman year in college in US history to remember who was who and how the Revolutionary War took place. My only complaint about the series is that a lot of events were crammed into the 7 part series. So, episodes leaped over years of events and it was hard to keep track.

I was struck by some essential themes of this series:
1. The marriage of John and Abigail was so strong. She voiced her opinions, and he listened to what she had to offer. There was a strong vein of mutual respect, yet the ability to criticize the other. When Abigail was on her deathbed, I felt John's pain. What would he do without her? How could he even survive since he leaned on her for everything? They were married over 50 years and at that point, every thought and movement is entwined with another person. To me, he seemed weaker without the strength of his wife. The common thought is a woman is weaker without her husband. Yet, I see otherwise.

2. I'm delighted this series has been shown in 2008. Of course, it would've been nicer if this was out in 2001. This country needs to be inspired by the fire and drive these "Founding Fathers" had. We can see the thought process, the debates and arguments for different points for the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, as well as their intentions for the role of the Executive Office. Early Americans suffered so much and aspired so deeply towards a country of liberties that the world could not even conjure in its imaginations. They knew they had to break away from imperialism. And, they were able to do it! It's infuriating that in 2008, the US government is promoting one rule for themselves, and different rules for the rest of the world.

The John Adams series is definitely worthwhile and inspiring on many levels. Liberties and declarations aside, one becomes extremely grateful for modern day dental hygeniene and anesthesia!

Clinton Rally

I heard someone on the radio say that if you're in Pennsylvania and you haven't seen a presidential candidate yet, you haven't been trying.

I learned late Thursday night that Bill Clinton was coming to the local high school. If it was Hillary, then I wanted my daughter to be there since she's a huge Hillary fan. She believes we need a "girl president, not the boy."

I'm extremely excited that PA is such a critical state in this election. I was a bit disgruntled in February when everyone was jumping up and down about Super Tuesday primaries. I figured PA primaries would just be a formality. Here we are -- at the most critical junction! So, it shows you that you don't have to be "first" to make a difference.

By the way, I haven't been to a political rally since Mike Dukakis came to campus back in 1988. (Robert Redford was with him and my roommate and I gushed all over RR, and posted pics of his younger days in our dorm)

My friends and I arrived fairly early, but some how got herded behind the press riser. It was annoying because we couldn't see and had to wait until a photographer moved a bit so we could peek through their legs or chair. Clinton came more than an hour late - we figured he stopped at Wawa for coffee. Their campaigners kept the energy up by giving cheers and keeping the crowd busy with the Wave. We were behind the risers and bit annoyed by the Rachel Ray-esque show.

Finally Bill came and spoke for an hour. It was such a great and honest speech. He talked about where the country was when he left office, where it is now and what Hillary is going to do. He was witty and sharp! I was really impressed with the proposals and plans that Hillary has in place for Education, Healthcare and international issues. He talked about the environment, renewable energy resources, such as the windmills (Go Gamesa!) as he drove through PA. He mentioned an electric car that gets 100 miles per gallon. He joked that he knows the younger people are fine, but older people question the validity of that statement. A senior man next to me chuckled. He pointed out that when he and Hillary were young and Kennedy talked about landing on the moon, they felt the same way. You have to aim as high as you can. As someone working in technology, I know that this country is not short on innovation or creativity. There are other barriers to making things happen.

Political pundits are saying Americans like to vote for people who live like they do (thus, we got Bush because they'd invite him to their barbecue). If that's the case, Hillary's the first candidate I truly identify with as working mother. She had to balance ballet lessons with her law practice and support her husband's gubernatorial career. Part of me feels "she's a mom" and she knows how to get to the source of problems, resolve them swiftly and multitask. Also, I work for an organization that has strong women in visible and key positions. Women of her generation are seriously tougher and don't shirk in confrontation.

We came back to our car to find Obama flyers under the windshield. Hmph. I'm not an Obama supporter, though I like him as a person.

Whether it is Hillary or Obama in the White House, it'll be like a breath of fresh air over the country and the world. The economy has brought people down, the price of gas is inching towards $4, and Americans and Iraqis are dying every day. We do need a good leader, someone with a vision and ability to motivate people. Under a good leader are good managers, so you need a secure team.

Assumptions of Frida

The Philadelphia Museum of Art has a great exhibit of Frida Kahlo until May. I wrote about Ms. Kahlo last September and it was extremely exciting to see her paintings in person. I had to refrain myself from caressing the canvas. Seeing her name, written sharply in the lower right corners just drew me in as much as the paintings themselves.

One interesting aspect I never knew about her work was the significance of painting the frames. She felt the subject of the painting was so powerful it could not be contained by a frame. For example, the frame for “A Few Small Nips” was stabbed with red paint and the clouds escaped from "Suicide of Dorothy Hale" onto the frame. The museum had displayed traditional Mexican spiritual and folk art, which were the inspiration for many of Kahlo’s works. She even adopted the Mexican tradition of oil on metal for many of her pieces.

I didn't know that she painted still life paintings (fruit, flower) in order to make money after her divorce. Obviously, her more painful and brutal paintings did not sell. This reminded me of the artists in Mumbai in front of Jehangir Art Gallery. They have bold, abstract and extraordinary pieces, which are their passion. However, they do Ganesha paintings because they know they can be sold.

As we walked out, my friend commented that it seemed like her life was so sad. Frida had painful recovery from an accident, miscarriages, a tumultuous marriage, and even isolation as she visited the US. I pointed out this is an assumption we make based on her paintings and other information. This was not Frida the person. After her husband had an affair with her sister, she did not paint for more than a year. When she did finally paint, of course it was going to be powerful exhibit of the jagged pills she swallowed.

When a life is rolled up into a 1-hour audio tour and gallery exhibit of photographs and paintings, one is intimate with just a part of the person. Kahlo paints self-portraits with her face unsmiling, doused with gravity. However, there were black and white photographs of Kahlo drinking from a bottle on a boat or simply seductive poses from experimental modeling. Her style of wearing traditional Mexican folk dresses and jewelry was more than a fashion statement, but a political one. It is hard to remember there was a lively, charming woman behind the flat paintings.

We all have assumptions in our own lives. When I was in college, I kept a journal. I didn’t have a lot of time to write, so usually wrote when I was emotionally charged (read: sad). After a few months, I browsed through old entries, reading them back to back. It was shocking! One would’ve thought I was depressed all the time! However, there were weeks and even months between entries. Obviously, those were happy moments, which didn’t call for me to write out my emotions.

This comes into play even when we communicate with people about our lives. We always hear stories from one side, not from the other people involved in an incident. We have to make assumptions to fill in the blanks.

Artists are fortunate of the lot. They leave their creative expressions behind, leaving bits of themselves immortal. Our lives are like pencil sketches, leaving others to fill in the colors for us and then view us the way they choose to see us.

"In The Heights" Musical

We had a fabulous weekend in New York City. We stayed in the theater district, ate at a great Thai restaurant on 9th (Chanpen) and got cool "designer" jewelry and sunglasses for $5 on the street.

We wandered into the Richard Rodgers Theater to see what the deal was with tickets for matinees. The play was "In the Heights" and we knew zip about it; I had done research on shows with big name actors or the off-Broadway plays. We asked about the "Lottery" seats and they said they were going to call those in five minutes at noon. We dropped our names into a bucket and they had 22 tickets available. About 30-40 people were gathered around as she called names. She called us and we were ecstatic -- we got front row tickets for $26 each!

I've sat in the front row before and it's a bit rough to see dance performances since it's tough to see everything, especially in ensemble dances. However, it's still front row.

"In the Heights" is an amazing musical focusing on an urban Latino community in Washington Heights, Manhattan. It's young, energetic and current. The dancing was fabulous with mix of Latin (salsa to mambo) and hip hop. There were the basic elements Broadway musicals always seem to have -- soloists gazing into the balcony as they sing about their dreams, the battling duets where two singers belt out their own songs, yet synchronized, lots of conversations with big smiles and random dancers that are part of the set design. The orchestra was surpremely talented as the music was so diverse and they were on the spot. What the hell -- these are some of the most talented performers and artists in the city.

As a poet, the lyrics of the show got me. I'm sitting there counting rhymes and the rhythm of the words, breaking at the right spot and conveying a precise message. Lin-Manuel Miranda is actor/lyricist and playwright of the show. We were thrilled to meet him by the stage exit and tell him how amazing the writing was; he actually recognized us from the first row! (Oh yeah!)

What struck a chord with us was the immigrant struggle. This story could easily be translated from the Latino theme to Desi theme (set in Jackson Heights, Queens, of course!). Instead of having a "carnivale" in the street, desis would strike up a garba or a bhangra! (Anyone out there want to write this with me??).

Love In the Time of Cholera

I read this book when I graduated from college and I loved it. I raved about the beautiful language and remembered the opening scene referring to the smell of cyanide and death to bitter almonds. I remember not understanding the title so much and taking it at face value. A few years ago, I read "One Hundred Years of Solitude" and became a true Gabriel Garcia Marquez fan. I was so relieved that Oprah had an interactive site for that book, explaining characters, symbolism and even a Q&A with a Marquez scholar. It was a difficult book and frustrating at times, but oh so worth it! Just beautiful.

When the LITC movie came out the end of last year, I decided to reread this book first. I'm thrilled I did because I got more out of this book today than I did 15 years ago. When I read the snapshot of Fermina and Juvenal's daily married life, I understood it so keenly. I looked at Florentino through his mother Transita's eyes and felt her heartbreak knowing his heart was broken. Also, I did find something annoying and alluring about Florentino himself. There are times you want to shake him and say "Wake up, man! Live your life!" But you know that's not how it is. This is his life.

I saw the movie on DVD and it moved exactly like the book. We are always the first to complain when the movie steers away from the book. However, when the movie is this close to a book, it becomes predictable and tiresome. My husband walked out the first 30 minutes, complaining Florentino was a schmuck for waiting 53 years for this man to die. I stayed with the movie until the end (albeit fast forwarding) and I did like the ending. I felt the relationship between Fermina and Florentino in the end was illustrated better in the book -- you could see it grow through the letters. Javier Bardem in this movie was.. well.. whew! I felt he brought the sadness and awkwardness of Florentino alive, and maintained it while the character aged. I wasn't impressed with Fermina as a character, even in the book because I felt she was complex, but never fully matured.

As for the title, the symptoms of love and cholera are similar, which leads to the confusion and the alliances. Yet, the beauty of is it is that to experience love in the time of cholera means that love will survive. Take the ending, when they feign cholera so they can be in love.

In short, read the book.

Building Grass Huts

I have a bit of writer's anxiety these days.

On one hand, I have one creative nonfiction and two poems that are due for publication in 2008 and early 2009. I've been through this before and until the book is in my hand, I won't believe it. So I will let everyone know.

On the other hand, I've received a few rejections last year. To make me feel better, the editors send me a complimentary copy of their journals. (Gee, thanks!). They send this to you so you can learn what they're looking for next time. When I see the work that's being written, it's not like mine at all. It's more structured. I feel like they're writing skyscrapers and I'm writing grass huts.

While grass huts have their charm, they lack durability. I'm not sure how much of my style I need to change. I send my work hoping editors will see me as a "fresh voice," free of the MFA commanded styles. One editor suggested I refine my endings a bit. I reworked a few points she had identified and I agree it's better; those points always bothered me, but I left them. I would love feedback on my work!

So, I'm willing to refine, but I can't change my voice. Poetry is so personal and I write as it comes to me. My confidence wobbles when I read the bios at the end of my complimentary journals and see the MFA and other academic credentials.

Poking around on poetry sites, I came across a letter from Ted Kooser, the poet laureate. He wrote the following correspondence:

Your statement: "So many writers I've talked to refer to office work as the enemy, as if it's impossible to be anything except poet and teacher at the same time" engages me.

Where, I wonder, or at what juncture in history, did we get the idea that work would be our friend? For many of us, it is essential that we be writing against something, rather than for it. The writers who are teaching and going to the AWP meeting, etc., are in this sense writing for, or writing in support of what they're doing. Their writing is an extension of their livelihood, teaching, and the writing supports the work. And if this follows, where among these writers is the writer who questions this way of life, who writes that we should not be teaching creative writing, that we should not be encouraging people to consider careers in support of the creative writing industry? Every year there are hundreds of jacket blurbs that suggest that this or that poet is "courageous," but where is the courage in working as a poet on a university campus? Where are the dangers in this? The fear of not getting tenure? OF getting assigned to teach a class in composition? (For that matter, I'll admit that a poet need not be courageous anywhere. It's far more courageous to work the night shift in a quick stop.)

I wrote about the poet laureate Ted Kooser and how he's inspired me as someone who kept a day job and sustained his poetry. From the same site, there is another great blurb from Kooser:

You asked what I'm working on . . . I never feel as if I'm working toward the next book. I just keep writing poems as I come upon them and eventually, after maybe sixty of them have been in magazines, I start looking to see if they'll make a book. My books are getting further and further between. The last one was nine years in the collecting. Things are hectic here at the office, so I'd better get back to work.

Thank you! I will hang in there and keep collecting the grass for my huts.

Airborne Lawsuit

Did I not call it in my Packing for India post?
"Airborne - some people swear by it, I'm not sure"

Cold Remedy Airborne Settles Lawsuit
Maker of Airborne Will Pay Refunds for Product That Was Marketed as a Cold Preventive

I read the label and the ingredients were all herbal. If you wanted to make sure you built your immunity, you should be taking this for weeks in advance. You can't just plop it into your drink on the plane and expect you'll be safe from a cold and other germs.

Linking In

I've been on Linked In for some time, and never really saw the benefits to it other than for job searches. I recently registered on Facebook and have been having fun connecting with people. Right off the bat, it searches your email address book so it pulled up classmate from graduate school to a former colleague and friend who moved away when she got married. I thought she still lived in Washington state, but she's in Hyderabad with a 3-year-old!

It's been exciting to reconnected with childhood friends and family members. I have a few cousins who are older than me in India and a slew of cousins here who were 10-18 years younger. I never paid too much attention to them growing up. They were just little kids, more annoying than anything. Well, now these "little" kids are in their 20's, in medical and law school and/or working professionally. Looking at their homepages, I get an inside peek into the really interesting adults they've become. And social! I don't know how my cousin at 22 has 400 "friends." Actually, he's the one with political aspirations, so he's on the right track.

I was thrilled to see that through the family network, my older cousins' daughters are also connected. I haven't seen them since they were 9-10 years old. Now, they're 18-19 years old, have their crazy pictures, honest statements and just about everything posted. It's fascinating because I see one niece is a spitting image of her mom! And, from her style sense I can see she's a fashionista like her mom and my sister!

Last November, another cousin and I connected through email. She lives in South Africa these days and we were trying to meet up in India, since our trips coincided. We did not meet due to other circumstances, but spoke on the phone after 22 years. She sent a photo of her 14 year-old son and he looks exactly like her, since my memories are of her at the same age.

Bringing people together is one of the strengths on an online community. However, it's one thing to meet another Jane Austen fan on a board to meeting your cousin or niece for the "first time." My family is close together in NJ, and the aunts and uncles meet regularly at each others' homes and social functions. However, the cousins are all spread apart, doing their own thing.

There's a book by Rona Jaffe, "The Cousins," which talks about the complicated relationship. They bond well in childhood because the parents are siblings. However, it's harder for the cousins to connect as they grow up because they choose different directions and lose the common bond. In one way, I feel like we missed the common bond in childhood, but we have the potential to establish it again.

One Fish Two Fish

The leap from Kindergarten to First Grade is amazing. Annika is such a stronger reader and writes extremely well. She still has her reversals (backward 5, p, 6) every now and then.

One way I encourage her to read is to have her read her homework assignment. She perches on a stool and asks me to sit afar. She'll read and then show me the pictures. Then the power of being a teacher gets into her head and she asks me to raise my hand before speaking!

Last night she read Dr. Seuss to me and it was great as I sat there and listened. I've read this book to her so many times since she was little. In fact, my brother gave me Dr. Seuss books for my baby shower. I used to do the characters in voices or accents to make it interesting. Even now, she wants me to read in a voice at times. I'm definitely not an actor and my accents fluctuate regions. But, it's ok because she enjoys it.

The best advice I had received before Annika was born was from my friend Karen. She said she read to her sons since they were infants. People thought she was nuts reading to a 2 month old. However, she found it was a soothing mechanism. Whenever he got upset, she pulled out a book and he was focused on that.

I did this with Annika and have a video of her at 4 months old, kicking her feet in delight over a book my mother is showing her. Before she was a year old, she had her favorite "dog" book. It was picture books of animals, but she called everything "dog."

We've always read during dinner, which was a way for me to get this picky girl to eat. It was a better distraction than TV. Plus, she knows that storytime is our time to bond and talk. She loves going to the library and always borrows books from the teacher's book basket. Everyone knows she's a reader and always receives books.

So, last night when she read this particular book to me, I was so excited because we really are at a new stage.

Adventures in India - Packing for Trip

Before I left for my trip, I was asking everyone what should I take with me. I checked online and I couldn't find a decent list. I got extreme answers - "Take everything" to "Don't worry, they have everything there!" It turns out both answers are correct. You can get what you need in India, but isn't it better if you already have it with you?

When I went to India when I was young, we were so happy my mom brought Tang. The food items are really there to make the kids feel more at home. We were surprised to see the variety in India now. There's definitely no shortage of pizza places. My inlaws brought chicken nuggets for my daughter and her eyes lit up! (This was the first time they cooked meat in their Brahmin kitchen!). My sister-in-law brought chocolate and berry muffins and soft buns from a local bakery for breakfast! However, I know this is mostly in large cities like Mumbai

Here are some tips:
Hygiene

• Flushable wipes - I took a big bag of these with smaller Zip loc bags. Always kept these in my purse or knapsacks. If they dry out, dampen with water. I can't tell you how handy these were in public restrooms, restaurants, and car rides.
• Wrapped hand wipes - I found individually wrapped packs at CVS in the drug section at the last minute, even though I was looking all over.Again, good to keep in purses.
• Sanitizing gels - I bought travel size ones, but never had it handy when I needed it. The wipes were better.
• Kleenex & Q-Tips - I felt I didn't bring enough of these. Again, available in India, but you need them when you need them.

Medical:

• Chewable Pepto Bismol for Children (I ended up popping a few of these to ease my stomatch too!)
• Chewable Dramamine tablets for Children for the plane ride
• Children's Benedryl, Advil and cough syrup
• Immodium AD (adults only)
• Hydrocortisone cream (for bug bites)
• Insect repellent - though I found a great gel in India, better than my spray
• Neosporine & Band-Aids for cuts
• Airborne - some people swear by it, I'm not sure
• Sunscreen
• Chapstick, moisturizers, hair conditioners and frizz control gels for the humid climate.

Food:

• pasta and parmesan cheese
• Jello pudding mix - easy snack to make
• snack packs of pretzels and cookies (the 100 calorie packs are a great size!)
• pancake mix - the kids had this for dinner one night
• granola/cereal bars
• cereals - I didn't take any, but wished I had
• sandwich crackers with cream cheese
• Halloween candy - we had so much left over, we brought it along with us to share. What kid doesn't love a gummy eyeball?

Kids Stuff

Obviously you bring your child's favorite toys. I went to a used book store and picked up 10 soft covered books for 50 cents. These were "new" to my daughter, easy to carry and I could leave them behind for someone else to enjoy.

The carryon for her was a roller knapsack. These are good for travelling with kids because an adult can strap it on their back as well. While the airlines have individual TV screens and everyone watches movies and shows, it's good to have other things to do. Her entertainment included crayons, books, Barbies and a handheld video game. I bought extra batteries as well.

We had ordered child's meal plan for her, which was nice. However, since she's a picky eater, I kept additional snacks in the backpack.

One thing I wanted to get for her and didn't was a personal digital camera. They have smaller ones now,which I know she would have enjoyed using.

If you have other suggestions for the list, please let me know.

A Valentine Letter

I wrote this letter 5 years ago when Annika was two. I received an email this morning about Valentine's Day and I was inspired to look for this. Reading this after 5 years, I was moved. (Hope you will be too!)

Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y Y

A Valentine Letter

Dear Annika,

You’ve changed the meaning of Valentine’s Day for us. I always hated Valentine’s Day. In college, I wore black to protest the ridiculous “holiday.” When I was single, the pretensions annoyed me. When I got married, I was still annoyed. We love each other and we express it throughout the year. Thanks, but no thanks, Hallmark. We’ll celebrate at our own time and when we know we can get dinner reservations. However, when the doctor said labor needed to be induced and the nurse asked me if I wanted to come Tuesday or Wednesday, I thought about it and said “Wednesday, Valentine’s Day.”

Now, every heart I see reminds me of you. I want to shower you with red roses and red poofy skirts like you love. I see you pounce into the room, and I see a fiercely independent little girl with wild curls. However, when you cry in your sleep or in those famous tantrums of a two-year-old, I see my little bird that I brought home. You were so tiny and delicate, and your mouth was constantly in an open wail, ready to be fed.

Who are you, little one? I wanted to ask you when the nurse brought you in the next morning. Are you really mine? I started crying because I couldn’t believe you were here. I embraced you and could not keep from staring. My little bird stared back at me with equal intensity. Normally, your black eyes darted around the room. When I held you, our gazes locked, each of us trying to memorize the new face. “So you were the one!” our eyes said.

Every story I read in my parenting magazines said the mother “knew” right away how perfect it was. I felt empty. I wasn’t sure if this was right. You had your father’s nose, but rosy cheeks and puffy eyes. I don’t have rosy cheeks or puffy eyes. You did not look like the baby I thought I would have. Your grandfather said he was nonchalant until he saw you and he fell in love. I felt confused.

When we went home on Friday, we played “The Carpenters Greatest Hits” for lullabies, and it was like magic. You fell asleep immediately. I felt Karen Carpenter was singing to us: “Look at the two of us, strangers in many ways. We have a lifetime to share...so much to say, and as we go from day to day, I feel you close to me, but time alone will tell.”

It was in the wee hours of the morning that I felt our true bonding experience occur. I was nursing in bed and caressing your sleek, dark hair. The house was quiet. I felt like the whole world was asleep, but the two of us. Since you looked like your father, I felt a wave recognition and love. You did belong to us. And, that was it.

That song seems foreign to me now. We are no longer strangers, but a family connected. You’ve wrapped yourself around your father’s heart and of course, he and I are both different people now. We know a new meaning of love on Valentine’s Day.

My heart, you are always in my thoughts,
Mommy

P.S. Please hold onto this letter. I know in ten years, I will be an embarrassment to you because you will already know everything. Humor me and hang onto to it for twenty when it may mean more.

Personal Notes on Global Climate Change

I've been told that Mahabaleshwar in Maharashtra, India has received snow, a normally pleasant vacation spot. There's been unbelievable amount of snow in China. The southern US states were rampaged by deadly tornados. The Northeast is experiencing a mild winter with 60 degree days in February. I blogged about this last year around this time.

My heart and hopes go to all those who are suffering due to this climate change. The daily lives of people are compromised by this change.

I'd like to have a selfish rant if I may.

The extended pleasant weather in the northeast has robbed me of my snow days. I do love them for what they bring - family under one roof. It slows us down. No one has to go anywhere or do anything or see anyone. Malls and restaurants are closed. There are travel advisories to stay off the roads unless it's an emergency.

I always take advantage of the time to organize my closets or do some projects that have been put off for various reasons. I remember one snow day when my mom, sister and I made pani puris at home. We had the time to roll and fry all those little puris. We had a great time together. With my family now, I would always save one of Annika's birthday gifts to pull out on snow days to entertain her. It'll be a toy that we can set up or play together.

Instead, we have great weather and a hundred excuses to run around. My husband and his friends are avid golfers. Back in Oct and Nov, they pleaded "This is the last golf day of the season. We have to go!" All of us were understanding and supportive of their interest, so we said, "Of course! Enjoy!" thinking we'll have them to ourselves during the winter.

Well, there is no such thing as "last golf day of the season" when they can still golf on the morning of the Super Bowl (Feb 3rd). They layered themselves with sweatshirts and windbreakers, grabbed their water bottles and went off to enjoy a beautiful, crisp day.

Living in the northeast, we're used to seasons. Every season has its purpose to us. You enjoy the long days of summer, honeysuckles and fireflies. Winter brings you mugs of hot chocolate and quiet snow flakes. You kick dried leaves and inhale the smell of autumn as you go for walks in the parks. In spring, you relish the sunshine and green grass as if you've never seen such vibrant beauty.

Women on Top

The media is absolutely going nuts with Hillary Clinton and campaign to be the first female president of the US.

Woman, Female, Gender, Oh my...
Woman, Female, Gender, Oh my!
Woman, Female, Gender, Oh my!

I wish they would leave the gender and race out of the political discussions because to me, it is irrelevant to a person's capabilities. I heard a woman on the radio say she wasn't going to support Clinton because she didn't whether other countries would respect her as President. Americans need to look beyond what the media tells them.

Let's backtrack here.

Currently there are 19 women in national leadership position. Of the monarchies, 3 Queens in Denmark, Netherlands and UK. There are 6 female Presidents in Argentina, Chile, Finland, India, Ireland, Liberia and The Phillipines. There are 6 Prime Ministers in Germany, New Zealand, Mozambique, The Netherlands Antilles, Ukrain and the Aland Islands. There are 3 Governor-Generals, who serve as heads of state for Antigua and Barbuda, Canada and Saint Lucia.

Of course, this is not to say all is balanced in the world. Here's a list of countries that do not have enough women in leadership. Even though India has a female President, there are less than 10% in the cabinet.

Here are the stats for women in the US Cabinet positions:
George W. Bush: 15%
Bill Clinton: 37%
George Bush: 24%
Ronald Reagan: 10%
Jimmy Carter: 15%
Gerald Ford: 6%
Richard Nixon: 4%
While there may not have been a woman running the West Wing, it is important to note women like Madeline Albright as the first Secretary of State (and Condoleeza Rice is the current one), which is the 4th in the hierarchy for Presidency. Now Nancy Pelosi is the Speaker of the House, which is behind Dick Cheney in succession.

While Ms. Clinton's campaign and fervor is definitely historic, we have to see that women in politics has come a long way globally.

Dear God,

Please protect my family and all my loved ones near and far.

And, I have a special prayer for two girls. One is named Miley Ray Cyrus and the other is Raven Simone.

Please let Miley stay a good Christian family-oriented girl. Let her father guide her through the ups and downs of show business as only the man behind Achy Breaky Heart can.

Please let the blessings of Bill Cosby keep Raven on her path to success. (She really has the talent to become this generation's Lucille Ball).

Please do not let them get pregnant, caught drunk driving, or become anorexic or have a drug related "incident". Keep them out of jail!

Make sure they have undies on every time they wear a designer dress on the red carpet.

Please keep video cameras out of their bedrooms. (Yes, I've seen Miley's sleepover pics and they're nothing.. whew!).

Please do not let them have a reality TV show after they get married, so their marriages have the potential to endure.

Please let them become spokes models for products, not celebrity rehab centers.

I wish for them all the strength and success as the eyes of America's girls are on them and we moms do not want to explain any of the above to them.

Adventures in India 9 - Spiritual Awakenings

I just finished “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert, her memoir tracking her journey of self discovery in three countries. Part of her adventure was learning about devotion and spirituality in India. Even I was inspired to go live in an ashram in India.

This trip to India didn’t leave much time for any spiritual connections for me. However, I was surprised to see my daughter received quite a spiritual awakening.

I always thought my daughter was a little bhakti (devotee). When she was 2, we had videotaped a Teletubbies episode where they showed Indian kids dressed up for Diwali and going to the temple. Annika used to sit there glued to the TV while the kids did their aarti. My mom handed her a thali and she started waving the plate around as the kids did.

She goes to an Indian Sunday school, which offers language, culture and religion classes for children. We never had anything like this when I was growing up, so I’m really happy we can take advantage of a great program in our community. This has really given her a level of confidence that my generation never had about being Indian and Hindu.

In India, she became a big fan of the religious cartoons such as Bal Hanuman, Bal Ganesh and Krishna. The shows are offered in Hindi and English, which was good for her. I was impressed when she said she watched one movie in Hindi with English subtitles. So, she was always willing to watch one of these animated shows. Our 4-year-old nephew talks about being Hanuman and Ganesh like other kids talk about Spiderman and Batman. He has stickers, a dhanushya (bow) and a plastic mace like Hanuman. He even dons the plastic masks and dhoti.

I was happy to find two books on Hindu Gods and Indian historical figures, which she loved. It's always been a challenge finding age-appropriate reading material for her. Some of the books have too much graphic violence or too much text and lofty materials.

Oftentimes, she would curl up with these books even if no one was available to read the stories to her. This pleasantly surprised me to see my daughter read something that did not have a princess or a mermaid in it.

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The books I bought were by Nita Mehta Publications and titled "Historical Tales of India" and "Tell Me About Hindu Gods and Goddesses." These seem to be available only in India, but can be bought online. Another publisher that has been recommended to me is Tulika, whose books are available online.

Adventures in India 8 - Coming Home to Zuzu's Petals

We've been home more than a week and for seven of those days, I was sick with the flu. I returned healthy, but the first Monday I went to work, I got sick. Coincidence? I think not.

When we arrived home, I felt like George Bailey in "It's a Wonderful Life." Remember the scene when he comes back to life and is thrilled to see his town and his house intact? He runs around saying "Hello you old Bailey Building & Loan" and comes home to "Hello you drafty old house" and broken stairs, etc. He finds Zuzu's petals in his pocket and knows he's home and alive.

That was me that night. When we entered, we went around the house checking for any problems. I went into the basement to check it was dry, and it was perfect. I just jumped on my big red couch. I wanted to touch everything, which made me realize I was home.

Truth be told, I was homesick before I left. I knew I was going to miss the comforts of my house. You don't realize how much you really care for something until it's not there. The difference between India and the US is quite substantial. When I had gone to India when I was in college, I returned to the US with culture shock. Everything seemed too perfect and surreal. I was angered by the wastefulness of Americans. It wasn't fair or real.

This time, I felt more relief to be home. Watching mindless reality TV shows is a bit of a shock. People are stressing about the most inconsequential things, while there are people struggling with basic necessities of life.

Anyway, we all miss the family in India. My daughter longs to call her grandmother every day and we have to explain that there's a time difference. We hope we're able to go again in another two years.

Adventures in India 7 - Traffic Guidelines

Here are some observations

1. Traffic signals are suggestions, not requirements. If you're in a rush, you're allowed to go.

2. Headlights are optional. There's plenty of light on the streets, you don't need it.

3. When driving, if a pedestrian is crossing, go around him.

4. When walking across a street and a car is coming, try to beat it.

5. If a car or truck is reversing, by all means continue on your path and go around the car. The driver in reverse will remain in that position. If he hits you, as you go intentionally and recklessly behind him, it will be his fault.

6. Cows, camels, horses, dogs and cats always get the right of way.

Adventures in India 6 - Homeward Bound

"Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
don't know when i'll be back again
oh babe I hate to go "

We're leaving at the crack of dawn tomorrow. We've been homesick this week. My daughter's had a fever on and off, my husband is frantically finishing his to-do list and I'm missing the comfort of my own bed and sofa.

We're going to miss the family the most and it'll be hard for them as well.. the small apartments will suddenly feel spacious and lonely.

This morning I looked out of the window and realized I'm going to miss Mumbai, goddammit. The city that frustrated me to no end is now going to go away and I'm going to miss it. All the people, all the lives and stories behind each face. The noise outside my window now is incredibly loud -- horns, engines revving up, incessant crows cawing. It'll be gone.

Now I understand what people mean.

Adventures in India 5 - Life in India

We’re nearing the end of our vacation and I’ve seen some changes. My daughter’s picked up an Indian accent when talking to cousins. I'm wondering how I can bring the nanny and dhobi with me and how Elco Restaurant can deliver dahi sev puri to me (these are bite-sized crispy puris filled with crunchies, chutney, and drenched in yogurt -- it's like an explosion of flavors in your mouth!)

The best part of the trip is definitely being able to see family and friends. I spent two days with my family in Gujarat and loved every moment. It was exciting to meet after 10 years and be in different places in our lives. I was worried about a younger cousin back then, but I see her now and see how her life is totally together.

We know we’re different, but we know we’re the same though. There’s such a sense of comfort with them. I understand Gujarati perfectly, but my accent is a little rough. Sometimes, I fall back into English. I understand colloquial Marathi quite well, and can say short phrases, usually in the wrong tense/gender. With my cousins, I didn’t feel any judgment when I spoke in Gujarati. They just listened quietly and helped me if I stumbled. But, they understood.

They were quite curious about my life and choices I have made. The simple fact that I’ve kept my maiden name as my middle name and my daughter has her own middle name stumped them. We have broken an ancient naming tradition of the husband's name being the middle name for all of us. I explained my reasoning and at that moment, it didn't make sense to me either. I tried to explain we have different issues with names since we live in the US.

My friends in the US told me to relax and get pampered. Actually, in India, you don't have to go to a spa to get pampered. It happens at home. Laundry "magically" appears folded on your bed. Beds are made in the morning, set up for the afternoon nap, made up afterwards and then set for night. Afternoon naps are just lovely, especially after an Indian meal; I usually have veggie burger or a salad so roti, two veggies, dal, raita, etc is massive for me. This nap routine is a way of life given to those with flexible schedules. Close the window shades, turn on the ceiling fan, and grab a light blanket and pillow. Everyone wishes you a pleasant sleep. You awake, and it's chai or coffee time. My sister-in-law serves chai made with fresh lemongrass. Or, there's freshly brewed coffee on the coffeemaker my mother-in-law secured just for me. When I visited one cousin in Gujarat, we took naptime as an opportunity to lie in bed and just chat and catch up.

When I visited my cousins, on a lark he counted how many different services they get at home. Milk delivered daily..fruits and vegetables delivered.. tailor can pick up and delivery..newspaper delivery (hey! I got that!)..massage at home. Whoa. Massage at home? "Yes, the maleeshvalli comes every day." Whoa. I've been here one day and could've had a massage?

Next morning, I'm trying to get my daughter to brush her teeth and sneak in a bath as soon as the water is hot. The maleeshvali bai is there. Apparently, she knows the family and everyone addresses her as "masi" (aunt). She said one of my cousins, who is known for her high-maintenanced attitude, always asks for 2 massages a day when she comes.

The olive oil massage was absolutely great and my skin stayed soft all day, which surprised me. I also had a bruise on my arm from the massage, but that's ok. It wasn't the lush massage I've gotten at the spas on those massage tables and scented candles and lime/cucumber water to cool off. This was on the cool tiled floor on top of a black sheet in my neice's bedroom. I thanked her and quickly jumped in to take my bucket-bath, which was ready.

I also went for a facial and manicure/pedicure at a salon run by an acquaintance. The service and results were great. However, the experience was quite different than what I'm used to in terms of comfort (and hygiene).

One can definitely find whatever one needs in India. How you get it will be very different than in the US. My father asked for an out-of-print book. We went to a local bookstall, which had Visual C++ books in stock. The owner took our information, made a call from his pay telephone and said he'd get back to us. Today, we received word he did have the book! I was amazed at the one-day turnaround!

On the other hand, if you're like my BIL and need a copy of your birth certificate, you may end up going to 3 different municipalities and filling out umpteen forms and finding out the birth certificate doesn't even have your name spelled out on it and you need to have an affadavit from someone testifying you are who you say you are.

Adventures in India 4 - Art in India

My husband and I both enjoy art and have always tried to pick up artwork when we travel. We’ve decorated our house with special pieces from local art fairs, Asia, Europe and South America. We're not looking to make investments or anything. We just appreciate art and support emerging artists.

Recently on NPR, there was a program about the booming art market in India . It’s exciting that Indian artists are gaining recognition for their work. I particularly love the way contemporary artists meld India into abstract movements. For example, you’ll find landscapes, which will be complete with a distinctive Indian villager in the background. There’s a need for expression of a world and history that is evident as it comes out in bold forms.

We enjoyed walking through Art Plaza in front Jehangir Gallery and did pick up a piece from a local artist. We have two exquisite pieces that were bought on the last trip and knew that’s where we could find something. We also purchased 3 abstract Ganesha canvas paintings from a local shop, which we’re very excited about. (Stay tuned to this blog for updates with pictures!)

When we walked into the Jehangir Gallery, we were unaware of the artist on exhibit. There were words splashed on huge canvases. Specific words were bolded and highlighted and emotion felt. My first thought, “This is a writer. Who’s the poet.” Then we saw the exhibit was by the editor Pritish Nandy. Since the paintings were in hundred thousand dollars range, I desperately wished these were compiled into a book.

We browsed through one room, and then stepped into another. The vibrant colors and lines gripped us. The yet soft. They were city scapes of Mumbai - hard lines, soft bodies. Someone pointed us to the artist at the table and we had a delightful chat with him.

Request from an Artist
His name is Vigyan Vrat and he’s asked us to help him launch a gallery exhibit in the US. He is quite an accomplished artist and writer, and can secure his own travel papers. He simply needs to be able to have a show

If any of my readers can assist with this, please contact me directly.