Movie Review: 1971

We watched Amit Sagar's debut film, "1971" last night and loved it.

The story is about Indian POW's from the India-Pakistan war of 1971, who in 1977 should have been released. Yet, they were detained in Pakistan and forgotten. This film follows their escape from imprisonment to India.

It's smart and realistic. As military men, they were good at planning and strategizing, as well as combat. The elements of a good action were definitely woven into the film. Again, this is a sample of the new class of films coming from India - side stepping the traditional Bollywood masala. Also, they made an effort to show a balance of positive and negative impressions of Pakistan -- there are people who want to help them.

I liked seeing the diversity of the Indian army. It's made of Indians - Hindus, Sikhs, Muslims and Chrisitans. Each soldier mentioned his home, scattered throughout India, indicating the diverse communities. Yet, their love for their country was the strongest. The characters are human and credible.

The heartbreaking part is to recognize POW's are still not home. They said there were 54 Indian POW's in Pakistan who were last seen alive in 1988.

My husband's family has suffered the loss of one member who was in the Indian military. He died on a mission and was duly granted the Indian Air Force's Vayu Sena medal of honor in 1968. For us, the ache of military life comes close to home. To know that a family member is alive and is unjustedly imprisoned would be unbearable.

At the end of the movie, they list the POW's who have not returned home. While the rest of the movie may have been fictionalized, it is moving to put real names and faces to the story.

Here is a great Mother's Day card I received this weekend. The pictures are definitely cute with butterflies and flowers - a running theme among all her artwork; the princesses, mermaids and friends from school are noticeably

The pink form is a sample of "kid writing" that both of her KG programs are encouraging. Children are supposed to write the words phonetically. Whatever they spell is acceptable and it gives them a chance to work freely on their letters. I asked her to read it aloud for me.

My Mother
My mom is 26 years old.
(hey, this is creative writing..not math. So, she's off by 10, but I'm happy!)

My mom's favorite color is blue
(don't have a particular favorite color, so this works)

My mom's favorite food is salmon
(We had salmon at my sister's and we all enjoyed it. Just recently she saw me eat fish, as I'm a vegetarian)

My mom likes to swim and cooking
(I'm not a big swimmer, but we spent some time in the pool together and had a lot of fun!)

My mom is special
(Just to hear her read that to me was wonderful)

My mom is good
(Whew! So all those "bad mother" moments have been forgotten!)

I have to add that I didn't see the importance of Mother's Day until I became one. I remember dubbing it a "Hallmark holiday" when I was in my 20's and frantically searching for gifts.

Now, I understand why my parents always refused the extravagant gifts we wanted to give them. There is no way a child can repay his/her parents for what they've done. These tokens of appreciation make you happy as a parent and ensure you that you are on the right track.

Until I became a parent, I did not realize how much hard work it was. Being a father is demanding, but women make more silent sacrifices. We know if we don't do it for our children, no one else will.

My girlfriends and I celebrated Mother's Day with a spa day this weekend. One friend had her husband and family babysitting her little girl for the day. She still received numerous phone calls. It struck me that in her situation 5 adults could not take over the job of 1 mother for one day. No one realizes her contributions until she is absent.

To all the mothers, you are remembered!

Girl's and Self-Esteem

I've mentioned before that I'm the anti-Bratz mom. I was sent this article, "Are Bratz Dolls Too Sexy," which raises some interesting points: The Bratz Web site is rife with examples that seem to play to that point. While waiting for the transition from one screen to another, the message flashes “Please wait … it takes time to look this good.” And included in the “profiles” of the dolls is each one’s “favorite body part.” “Little girls shouldn’t be thinking of their body parts in that way,” says Linn. “Plus, the very idea of a ‘favorite’ part encourages you to think about your least favorite.”

I haven't let my daughter onto this site at all. The sites she does visit are:
NickJr, Noggin, Sprouts Online, StarFall, Playhouse Disney, PBS Kids and I will be honest and admit she likes Barbie.com. However, we'll balance it out more. **

As a mother, I'm concerned about my daughter's self esteem and how she will develop an attitude towards her own body and those of others. I'm very conscious about not talking about fat, but steering the conversation to health (e.g., it's important to exercise so you can stay healthy and live long). Annika's perfectly slender - actually too thin, per my mother. But who knows what she's going to hear and see from friends.

I came across Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty site, which has a mother-daughter decoder. I loved it because some of the translations are right on target. I think as a parent we shouldn't forget what went through our minds when we were on the other side. When I assure Annika that she looks attractive no matter what, I remember my parents saying the same thing. However, I used to wave off their comments because they HAVE to say I'm pretty.

Also, the Dove site is good because of the anonymous forum where young girls can reach out to other women for guidance and input.

This is one more challenge we have as mothers.

** Side note for kids on the computer: I created a separate Guest user ID for her without ability to download programs. Also, the password is her name so she enjoys typing it out. Lastly, I made all of her sites shortcuts on the desktop. So she can open directly to the site. This works for us now. We'll see what security measures need to be in place when she can actually read!

Leaves That Fell In The Middle Of Spring.

We saw the leaves fall this spring.
Wasn’t the tree always going to be lush,
adorned with green buds and white blossoms?
All the others were.

Why, the leaves are life of the tree!
They dance and sing with the wind,
and they tickle the young buds until they laugh.

We don’t know why, but the leaves loosened themselves.
It was too early.
Not fair.
No, it cannot be.
They had not felt the June sun nor tasted the August heat.
The young buds need their shade to grow
into delicious fruits of September.
They must stay.

The tree tried to hold onto them
“Just a bit longer.”
And, even when the stems were thin
the pain to cling was too much,
the leaves still believed they would stay
and keep the branches warm.

Along came a calm April breeze, which circled her arms
around the leaves. Quietly cradled each leaf and
carried them afar.
They were free to float and frolic.
They missed their tree,
but had another journey to follow.

The tree stands with a wide, open embrace.
If you listen to the rustle of the leaves in May,
you’ll hear the whisper of the melody they left behind.


In memory of leaves that fell this spring

- Dr. Padmaja Shinde 1966 – 2007

- Boney Dhar 1964 - 2007

Movie Review - Volver

Penelope Cruz was nominated as best leading actress for the Oscar for her role in "Volver." I haven't seen too many of her films, but she acted very well in this film. The film's storyline was unique as a mother returns from the dead and there are lots of secrets - some deadly ones are told early on, and others are revealed at the end.

This movie is about mothers and daughters. They show Raimunda's relationship with her mother when she was alive and how it differed after her death. And, then a mother and daughter have a second chance at their relationship. There's another woman who needs closure and a resolution with her own mother. Also, Raimunda's fierce love for her daughter is so strong and shows what she will sacrifice for her daughter. She plays a practical, astute, and strong woman.

I'll be sexist and say I'm impressed a male director/writer, Pedro Almovodar, had executed the depiction of the complex mother-daughter relationship so well. There are lots of strong women in this - the mothers, the daughter and even the local prostitute is a smart and strong woman.

I had to laugh at certain shots which focused directly on Penelope's beautiful cleavage, either in profile or an aerial shot down her shirt. And, her breasts even become topic of conversations -- only in European films! (Bollywood shows everything, but pretends it doesn't.)

By the way, I think she has the most beautiful eyes, which bat and tear for the camera as well.

It reeks of being a chick-flick, but it's not -- there's a corpse in the midst.

On the Job Training: Motherhood - Managing Expectations

"She's really smart, but she doesn't apply herself."

I heard this phrase throughout elementary, middle and high school. My parents were pushing me and teachers were encouraging me. I got A's in certain subjects that interested me, but I remained B+ in subjects that didn't interest me, namely math. I received my first A in math my junior year and I credit the teacher for communicating it so well.

I'm in a situation now with my daughter - a mere Kindergartner - and the teacher tells me she's not doing well in math. She dreams or she chats, doesn't speak up if she knows the answer and doesn't complete assignments on time.

This is so familiar to me. I had trouble finishing college exams on time and had to learn how to do that. So, I do not want this pattern to repeat in her.

We all know Indian parents who push the child into math, science or engineering majors. They shuttle kids to spelling bees, enrichment classes and other tutorials to make sure the child is above average. Kids are punished for getting 95, not 100 on exams.

I heard this commentary, "In Praise of Normal Kids" by Ayelet Waldeman yesterday on NPR. The story she said about bemoaning that her 1st grader was reading only at the 1st grade level hit home with me.

I'm not out to make my daughter a super scholar. I want her to be at the level I know she can be. She's very sharp, logical and curious. She likes to draw her own conclusions.

To hear that she's not doing well in math, or have her cry that the boys are good at math breaks my heart and infuriates me.

Frankly speaking, I feel the problem is with the teacher's style. I'm not about to change schools or anything. However, my plan is to reinforce her understanding of math with home practice and build her confidence. I had a horrible teacher in 6th grade. I had gone to India for an extended vacation and when I returned, she never sat with me to explain fractions. I failed tests. My father sat with me and explained quietly how this worked. Suddenly, everything made sense and I did very well. I'm still shocked at that woman's attitude.

Anyway, I had decided to speak my daughter's language. I pulled out her tea set plates and said, "We're going to have a party and invite 5 friends. Now Hannah and Rachel are coming. How many more plates do we need?"

She counts the plates, "Seven!"

"Ok, now Hannah and Rachel are not coming."

"Why are they not coming!! I want them to come!!" she cried.

Sigh.

So, I'll try more games. I've found worksheets on line. I've found magnetic pieces for counting.

However, is this right or too much? What about her peers who come to school for 2 hours of KG? They go home to play, while mine is in supplemental KG program. People are talking about Kumon and summer enrichment classes.

I don't know. We'll just do this one step at a time.

Shakespeare's Day

William Shakespeare was born on April 23, 1564 and died on April 23, 1616.

We were reading "Romeo and Juliet" in 9th grade and Mrs. Ekholm brought in cupcakes to celebrate. To add a twist, she asked everyone to quote a line from Shakespeare in order to receive a cupcake.

Just about everyone went up and said, "O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?" or "But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?" I had to be different and chose, "He jests at scars that never felt a wound." Mrs. Ekholm actually gripped my arm and froze. She loved it! This was said by Romeo when the guys were making fun of his lovesickness. Ironically, I often think of that line when people make comments or make light of someone else's situation.

Another favorite line of mine from Romeo and Juliet was "See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!O, that I were a glove upon that hand,That I might touch that cheek!"

I always liked the following scene, more so after I saw the Leonardo Di Caprio and Claire Danes performance in Baz Luhrmann's film. The way it was depicted was beautiful, as they started with their palms touching to their first kiss. The language is so full of double meaning, it's pure desire.


ROMEO [To JULIET]
If I profane with my unworthiest hand
This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this:
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.

JULIET
Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,
Which mannerly devotion shows in this;
For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,
And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.

ROMEO
Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?

JULIET
Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.

ROMEO
O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do;
They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.

JULIET
Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.

ROMEO
Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take.
Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged.

JULIET
Then have my lips the sin that they have took.

ROMEO
Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged!
Give me my sin again.

JULIET
You kiss by the book.

How hot is "give me my sin again"!?
Another powerful scene is the final death scene. Again, in the Baz Luhrmann version, as he dies and she awakens they see each other. Yet, it is too late. That makes it hurt even more.


JULIET:
What's here? a cup, closed in my true love's hand?
Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end:
O churl! drunk all, and left no friendly drop
To help me after? I will kiss thy lips;
Haply some poison yet doth hang on them,
To make die with a restorative.
Kisses him

Thy lips are warm.

First Watchman
[Within] Lead, boy: which way?

JULIET
Yea, noise? then I'll be brief. O happy dagger!
Snatching ROMEO's dagger

This is thy sheath;

Stabs herself.

I don't get entangled in the scholarly controversies of whether Shakespeare wrote his own work or not. I simply enjoy what the world has.

On the Job Training: Motherhood - An Imus Moment

So, we're at dinner with friends and I was quite animated in telling a story to a friend. I can't even recall now what story it was, but at one point I said, "Then she said 'Shut up, just go!'" and we were laughing.

I felt a small tug on my left.

"Mommy, I heard you say a bad word."

I quickly rewound the story in my head and realized I did say "Shut up." This is a term we've marked as a 'bad word' in our house.

"I'm sorry. I was just telling a story and said it to be funny." (echos of Don Imus?)

"Why do they have bad words?"

"Well, sometimes people use the bad words for the wrong reasons. You're right, I shouldn't have said it."

This is the toughest part of being a parent and leading by example. We're all human and make mistakes, but it's harder when someone is watching you intently and retaining what you do.

Media Misdirection

When I was in high school, I was interested in journalism as a major. My grandfather, an esteemed lawyer, was impressed with my interest as it was the "Fourth Estate," and encouraged me. Journalists were hard-hitting, fact-finding, unbiased communicators. I grew up in the shadow of the "All the President's Men," when Woodward and Bernstein were the catalysts in changing government. Daunted by the competitive nature of the field, I opted out of Journalism for an attempt at Business and finally graduating with English.

Anyway, had I pursued this degree, would I be sitting in the Bahamas right now, parked outside Anna Nicole Smith's house?

I can't understand what is happening to the media. How does entertainment and gossip become news? Are sponsors and ratings pushing them?

There's also a monomaniacal mindset among them, in that only one hot issue that can take the headlines. If there's a political scandal, that will take the headlines. Britney shaved her head, there you've got a space filler. Everyone else, fall behind, including the real war for fictious reasons.

Perhaps Americans are running out of things to discuss. It seems radio jockeys or morning show hosts only discuss American Idol. Even our local news the other night said we should stay tuned for exclusive interview with the latest singer kicked off American Idol.

It may be a financial matter where news programs need the ratings to get the sponsors. And, if entertainment stories are what draws people, so be it.

I like to think most of the educated Americans get their news from the radio or internet. However, at this moment, this is on Yahoo "News":
• Dozens slain in Baghdad, Karbala attacks
• North Korea disarmament deadline passes
• U.S. Peace Corps volunteer missing
• Poll: Most Americans filing taxes online
• Vatican defrocks ex-Philadelphia priest over abuse claims
• Online gambling service takes bets on global warming
• Auction for rights to canceled O.J. Simpson book on hold

OJ Simpson!?

Remember the old days when CNN just did news and MTV played music videos? At the gym, they have TV's set to three channels - CNN, ABC and ESPN. A few weeks ago, CNN's Larry King was interviewing people related to Anna Nicole Smith and they were showing the same pictures over and over. On ABC, they had a PrimeTime series on "The Outsiders," and focused on a porn star whose parents were her managers. Of course, they continued to show her 'at work' with strategic blurred images. So, now ABC was showing porn to get ratings. Bravo.

Pushing the Envelope
The hot topic this week was Don Imus's racial slur. I was horrified by those comments. Don was trying to be funny by acting Black to his white audience. He's heard African-Americans call women "ho's" and feels that it can be used freely. Right now, I've seen a lot of solidarity among African Americans about this issue - this is unacceptable, misogynist and racist. They've pointed to the power of language, and the power that Imus has a media personality to influence people.

My first issue with this situation is the media again. Donny Deutsch was interviewed on this topic and he pointed out that these kind of hateful programming are being supported by handful of companies. If these corporations took responsibility to promote decent programs, it would be more beneficial in preventing such incidents. I don't know what happened to the FCC either. The more fines Howard Stern received, the higher his listening base went and more sponsors came forth. I don't get it.

Another issue this controversy has raised is language. As human beings, we always tell other people how to define us. I know there are a number of African-Americans who are against the street language of rappers. I hope the solidarity they built through this experience will help formulate change.

I know some people say that by using the N word or for women, Bitch, is empowering. I don't really buy that. While I may use Bitch as a word of strength, I don't want someone else calling me that because I cannot be sure of their intent. Now, among Indian-Americans, I'm seeing Macaca become that word of empowerment. I'm sorry, but I don't see the need to be called that. It's an absurd word, and there's no reason for desis to toss it around carelessly. If we do and someone is called macaca, we can't feel bad because we've given them that word. That's it - it's not about taking back, it's giving forward.

What is NOT in the News

I learned about this story of an Indian-American man who was brutalized by a police officer for vehicle tags. The Sikh American organizations and other Asian groups are getting involved in this. If Don Imus can lose his show for slurs, I think this police officer should lose his job!

The part that infuriates me to no end is that all brown people are potential terrorists. I remember after September 11th, bearded Indian men suddenly were clean shaven. The media with monomaniacal tendencies and the government have driven home FEAR into the mind's of the American public. For the most part, middle-America is safe from terrorists. Yet, when a mass fear grips people, it can be extremely damaging. Think of the Japanese internment camps. The Bush regime uses this fear to get public support. His approval ratings are decreasing, but the fear has been implanted already.

If any of my readers have advice on how to support this cause, please share!

Carb-elicious Memories

I came across an article in which the author reminisced about her mother’s homemade cake. While I could relate to the mother/daughter relationship and the intimacy with food, that cake and recipe meant nothing to me. She talked about slicing fruits and exact measurements of flour and sugar.

Anyway, I couldn't relate to this article about baking. We make cakes out of boxes around here. And, my mother's kitchen didn't have one measuring instrument (Indian mothers just "know.").

For me, my mom’s two desserts are sublime and her chef-d'oeuvres: gulab jamun and jalebi. I don’t know what it is with her gulab jamuns, but I cannot eat anyone else’s. I don’t care if it’s a fancy Indian restaurant or homemade by someone else’s mother, I will pass. Most likely they’re soggy, burnt or just taste a little weird.

Now, I know I’m not biased because I’ve seen my college friends pop half-a-dozen of them like doughnuts. Family members recognize her gulab jamuns as treats.

For those who have do not know and have lived a pallid culinary existence, gulab jamuns are Indian sweets. Balls of milk and flour are deep fried like doughnuts until they are nicely browned. Then, they are saturated with a thick saffron sugar syrup. Did you feel your arteries clog as you read that? My mom’s gulab jamun stay crisp, but absorb the right amount of syrup. You can eat them warm, so the syrup just oozes out. Else, you can eat them cold and bite into crystallized sugar.

In my house, we have a “no fry zone”. We're super health-conscious and we really don’t fry anything. I actually bake sweet and savories. However, I had always made gulab jamuns under my mom’s supervision. I attempted to make them on my own as a newlywed. I made them for my mother-in-law, on the last day of her visit. The outcome wasn’t as spectacular as I expected, but she was very gracious and appreciated the effort.

The other specialty my mother used to make was jalebi. These are another one of those Indian sweets that have zero health benefits. The creation process is much like a funnel cake. The batter is drizzled in a circular pattern right into hot oil. When it fluffs up perfectly, take it out and plunge it into the sticky saffron sugar syrup for a long soak. (BAAAM!!)

I haven’t eaten a memorable jalebi in years. My mom stopped making them in the ‘80’s when she lost her special bottle for making it. She tried other bottles and tips, but it would either glop or get stuck in the tube. Then we were lost. We tasted fluorescent orange and neon yellow concoctions made by others, but it wasn’t right. Actually, often it was too sweet, too soggy, too crisp or too thin - sorry excuses for jalebis.

I remember being 10 years old and telling my friends how many I could eat. “I could eat this many jalebis!” with my arms outstretched. Then someone would top me. “Oh yeah, I could eat that whole house full of jalebis!” I replied.

Maybe because I revere my mom’s versions, I haven’t attempted to do these at home. I’m more likely to make my proven successes such as sev-kheer and carrot halva.

One my last visit to Mumbai, my father-in-law ported home a batch of ghantiya and jalebi. “I bought this for you! This is the traditional breakfast for Gujaratis! ” I stared at the sticky sweet circles and didn’t know what to do. Firstly, in my Gujarati household, we always had cereal or eggs for breakfast. No one was making hot jalebis for breakfast. Secondly, how could I eat these since I have declared I will never eat another’s but my mother’s? I thanked him and said, “I love ghantiya.”

Thanks for indulging my memories. I’ve been on a low-carb diet and now these carbelicious desires are manifesting themselves into my blogs!

Message in a Bottle..er..Blog

So, I'm back to my Sting mode. I never finished "Broken Music" that I bought recently because I needed to finish a Rushdie for a bookclub. I like reading a memoir like this because you feel like you're on the couch with the author, he has his arm around you and is just telling his life story. When I read "Bookless in Baghdad" by Shashi Tharoor, I felt I was being led by the hand through a library (here's my review). With Hillary Clinton's book, "Living History," I felt like we were sitting across from each other with her photo album and yearbooks on the table.

Anyway, I mentioned the universe is pulling me towards Sting. I was at Best Buy the other night with the intent to buy a DVD gift. There was a Police CD, Every Breath You Take: The Classics, on sale for $9.99. What a happy coincidence!

I was listening to "Message in a Bottle" a while back and some of the lyrics struck me in a different way.

Just a castaway, an island lost at sea, oh
Another lonely day, with no one here but me, oh
More loneliness than any man could bear
Rescue me before i fall into despair, oh

(chorus)

A year has passed since i wrote my note
But i should have known this right from the start
Only hope can keep me together
Love can mend your life but
Love can break your heart

(chorus)

Walked out this morning, don't believe what i saw
Hundred billion bottles washed up on the shore
Seems i'm not alone at being alone
Hundred billion castaways, looking for a home


It really reminded me of my online writing experience. I've been actively engaged in writing articles and discussion posts for almost 10 years now. I send out my lonely message, not knowing where it will end up. Yet, I do it. Then I learn there are lots of castaways like me! Anonymous voices chiming in agreement with me. Sometimes there are dissenters, but that's ok. Else, we'd be in an echo chamber with our own reverberations pounding back at us and we'd never learn. I like to meet people who have opposing views because it helps me reinforce and strengthen my own beliefs.

I love the line "A year has passed since I wrote my note." A year? A year means disaster, baby. We need instant feedback. We needed to know yesterday!

Even though I send out my bottles, I try not to be anxious and collect the ones that do wash ashore. A majority of my blog visitors don't bother to communicate directly to me, so I have to take a deep breath of faith and confidence that they are enjoying what I have to offer and keep coming back! So, for the "hundred billion" castaways, only a handful are sending their bottles to me!

Keep the bottles coming!

GPS - Addendum

On NPR's "All Things Considered," there was a charming commentary about GPS, "A Love Affair That's Going Places."

"Commentator Jay Keyser is having an affair. But it's not with another woman. He's falling for the sultry voice and competent navigational skills of "Vicki", his car's GPS. Keyser explains the dangers of his affair."

So, this takes the anthropomorphization I mentioned in my previous post to another level! He even discusses Vicki's "dark side" when she leads his wife to a dead end road.

Imagine if Columbus had GPS…

I’m not a Luddite or Amish. However, I still need to figure out how GPS (Global Positioning System) fits into my world. Maybe because I work with technology, I’m hesitant to let it control my car? I don’t know.

Map it! Map it real good!
I can tolerate online mapping tools like MapQuest and Google Maps. However, the directions may not always be accurate or the best route. I think there are many more advancements in the searching capabilities in the past few years (i.e., choose main roads vs local roads). I’ll search for the location and just use the map to plot out my own route. I can’t follow it word for word.

For all that is said about women and directions, I think if they have accurate information, they are all set. I’m excellent with landmarks and always provide them and ask for them. Maybe it’s my navigational insecurity, which makes me weary of technology. My father and husband need to drive somewhere once and remember it.

I wish I could do a psychology test based on how people handle directions to my house. My house is off the main road without a visible marker in one direction. Therefore, we provide specific directions: “At the 25 mph sign, put on right blinker. Start looking for a mailbox.” Even with directions, people have missed it or ended up in the wrong driveway. So, when people just Google for directions, they can’t find the house. Another friend mistyped the house number and ended up on the opposite end of the road. Only common thread I can say is that these drivers have been men.

GPS –Get People Somewhere
The next stage of navigational technology is GPS. One friend said, “If you don’t know where you’re going, it’s great. If you do know the route, it’s not going to work for you.” We used it in a friend’s car when we went to Boston to visit other friends. Using the GPS, we were stuck at a railroad crossing for 20 minutes as a freight train passed. When we told our local friend, he was so surprised we went that route. “But GPS told us to do that!”

In the interest of balanced presentation, on the same trip, the GPS came through for us when we were searching for restaurants and gas stations in the area. However, if one has a Blackberry or other device that can access the internet, it would be just as efficient.

As a non-GPS user, I find it interesting how dependent the driver suddenly becomes on the tool. A friend who has lived and worked in the area for years declared the tool will navigate her home from the city. Drivers turn off their own steering sense and just listen to where they need to go.

The GPS will say “next exit on the left”, but did the driver pay attention to whether it is northbound or southbound exit?

“Well, it doesn’t really matter, since it’ll recalculate for you.” Ok, so a complicated u-turn is acceptable now?

A former colleague once told me about a Japanese artist, I believe. He said that people lose some skills with advancements. People used to tell stories, and kept their memories sharp by retaining oral histories. When books were being printed, they lost that skill. Now, we can see with computers that the skill of writing by hand is being replaced by typing. (I admit that writing by hand more than 10 lines is taxing!)

Personally, I believe if you’re losing one skill, your brain would be making other complex connections. While you’ve been lax on your spelling, your brain is sharper in knowing where to find a correction tool and dig through the multiple icon/menu bars.

However, does reliance on GPS free your brain to do other things while driving?

The Anthropomorphization

When the directional voice is turned on the GPS, it’s an even more fascinating phenomenon. The tiny computer with screen becomes a person. “She said to turn left.” “Did he say this right?” The system has earned a pronoun and becomes another entity in the car – one whose opinion is valuable to the passengers.

A colleague mentioned how she loves her ‘GPS lady’ because she is so non-judgmental. If you miss a turn, she doesn’t berate you or make you feel bad. She remains polite no matter how many mistakes you make and adjusts her plan.

Maybe this is important as to how the driver forms the ‘relationship’ of trust to their system. And, since I don’t have a GPS, I have to be skeptical of the blind trust.

By the way, we do know people who can’t find themselves out of a paper bag without directions. They call us and ask for directions consistently, as if their memory retention for direction is stored on an Etch-A-Sketch. For them, we insist they get a GPS unit!

I’m still old-school and want my directions written out for me.

To prove I’m not a Luddite, here’s a tech tip: When I get directions to a friend’s house, I paste them into the friend’s record in my Outlook Address Book. Then download it to my Palm, so I can quickly access directions and information.

Review: Y Tu Mama Tambien

So, I'm about 6 years behind on my foreign films. I've always wanted to see "Y Tu Mama Tambien," especially after my friend Z had enthusiastically recommended it 3 years ago.

It was a lot more light-hearted than I expected. I've heard "sex and drugs" in relation to this movie, and thought, "oh, it's another one of those drug dealers, prostitution, violent movies." Was I wrong!

It's actually a good road-trip-through-Mexico-get-to-know-each-other-(in the Biblical sense ) -and-get-high-while-you're-at-it type of movie. It's absolutely steamy and calls for a nice margarita on the rocks to cool off.

I loved Gael Garcia Bernal in "Motorcycle Diaries," a film that has possibly one of the most beautiful cinematography of South America. "Y Tu Mama" reminded me of it in a way that ordinary people in the background add to the landscape and the story.

And, Diego Luna actually stayed in my mind for a long time after I saw.. gulp..embarrassed to say I saw this.. "Dirty Dancing 2 - Havana Nights." He was absolutely hot as a jalepeno in that movie. Movie was dumb as hell, but the dancing was intense.

Anyway, as a woman, I felt the storyline with the female character, Luisa, was stronger than the one for the two male leads. While this is the 'coming of age' story for the boys, it was an "awakening" for the woman. At the end, it is revealed why she had such a desire to suddenly live for every moment: "Life is like the surf, so give yourself away like the sea. "

It's also unbelievable that director Alfonso Cuarón, also directed "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" and "Children of Men." Gotta love the diversity and the creativity of such directors.

Also, I'm seeing on message boards that this is what teenaged boys are really like and what they really talk about. That's really scary! No wonder my father used to say, "Stay away from boys. I used to be one and I know exactly what they're thinking. Just stay away!"

One good thing about watching this movie so late is that everyone in the film has moved on to other projects, so I can catch up. I don't have to wait.

Speaking the Words We Write

I was thrilled to catch Def Poetry Jam on HBO last night. If you haven’t seen this program, it’s a spoken word and poetry performance. These poets do not speak from the heart. They whisper and roar from every molecule in their body and your body.

People often say, “Oh I don’t get poetry” and wouldn't try to read two lines. Performances like these visually illustrate the simplest purpose of poetry – the need to express and communicate to another.

I have to admire these artists because they can voice their poems. For me, writing is an act that is necessary as breathing. Yet, I’ve only read my poetry aloud to a few friends in writing groups. A year ago for the first time among strangers at a workshop, I read my work aloud. Afterwards, I was overwhelmed physically - blood was rushing and my body temperature must have risen 100 degrees. I received a positive response, which was encouraging and gave me confidence.

I don’t have a problem with public speaking. I taught and led presentations to clients, colleagues, professors and classmates. I’ve been the MC and made speeches at various Indian events. Not a problem.

I have public speaking confidence when what I’m presenting is not me. To read poetry or my writing would be to step into a zone of vulnerability and exposure.

When I watch spoken word poets, I know they’re taking their talent to the next level, which is where I need to be.

Another point for me is that writing is as solitary and silent act. I do read my work to myself, usually to check for rhythm.

When I read or write, I have this ‘voice’ in my head. The voice doesn’t trip over words, she glides and breathes into them. I like to write about ethereal topics. By actually articulating the poems, my voice makes the words seem so ordinary and lose their magic.

This is why I have to admire the talent of the Def Poetry performers. They know how to breathe life into the words and make them the voice you recognize in your head.

There was a girl in one of my writing groups, who was a poet. We found ourselves having difficulty connecting to her as a person because of her insecurities. She was inconsistent; she resisted sharing simple things, but then revealed too much. I saw her present one of her poems in a public performance. I was amazed how she transformed. She owned the stage. That was her space, those were her words, and that was who she was! For some poets, the public performance is a validation of who they are.

Broken Music - Sting

So, the Universe is pulling me to Sting this week.

I had an hour to myself yesterday and my car drove itself to the nearest Barnes & Noble. I went to the first place I always go in a bookstore - the Bargain Books. I believe one person's junk could be another person's treasure. I collect classics and books by Indian writers, which they may not mean much to the mainstream reading populace. So, I've found some great finds for under $5 or $10.

Yesterday, I found Sting's memoir "Broken Music" for $4.98. I've read only 30 pages and I'm captivated by his writing style. His prose is so lyrical and poetic it leaps off the page. For example, here's a line from the first paragraph:

"My wife, Trudie, and I are sheltering beneath an umbrella, while high above our heads two seagulls wheel recklessly in the wind; and the sea is a roaring threat in the darkness"

He could've said "Trudie and I stood under an umbrella and we could hear the seagulls and the water."

Actually, what made me buy this book were 2 paragraphs on page 298. Sting is in an old French hotel next to the alleyway where prostititutes have stood "for a thousand years." In the hotel foyer, there is an old poster of the play by Edmond Rostand, "Cyrano de Bergerac," which prompts this musing:

"He is a tragic clown man with an enormous nose and a plumed hat. He is a man entrusted with a secret; an eloquent and dazzling wit who, having successfully wooed a beautiful woman on behalf of a friend cannot reveal himself as the true author when his friend dies. He is a man who loves but is not loved, and the woman he loves but cannot reach is called Roxanne. That night I will go to my room and write a song about a girl. I will call her Roxanne. I will conjure her unpaid from the street below the hotel and cloak her in the romance and the sadness of Rostand's play, and her creation will change my life. "

I think that's what is appealing to me about this book that it's a memoir, not so much of an autobiography that zips through significant events. It pauses long enough to evoke significant moments.

Great Performances: Sting

I watched Great Performances on PBS the other night, which showcased Sting and his work on the new album, The Journey And The Labyrinth.

I don't know if this will play on PBS again, but it's available on a DVD. If you can watch it, please do since it's beautiful. Sting embraces and explores the Elizabethan songs written by John Dowland - he calls him the first "English Singer/Songwriter." It's fascinating to see the interaction and passion the musicians and singers have for the history and music.

My breath was snatched when I saw the backdrop. It was filmed at Lake House, Sting's 16-century manor house in Wiltshire, and in the ancient gardens of Il Palagio, his home in Italy.

The man has a labyrinith in his backyard!! I never cared too much for labyrinths (can't even spell the bloody word properly!) because I've seen films like "Dracula" and "Harry Potter," which have enforced the eerieness of mazes. These are frightening because you must go forward though you don't know what lies ahead. You feel like a mouse scrambling around a maze, hoping to find a cheese in the middle or at least freedom.

However, Sting is a brilliant man in that he created claustrophobic-friendly labyrinth. It's cut low and is wide and open. He strolls around and around it. If you get tired of the circular walk, you can walk across it and go home. One of Sting's musician friends commented how calming it was to walk behind Sting across this type of labyrinth. He was so inspired by it, he bestowed the lute with the carved labyrinth to him, which led to this new album.

Anyway, it's an absolutely beautiful show - complete with romantic settings in Europe from the castles to the woods, the talented musicians and one incredibly talented Sting.

By the way, I've seen Sting in concert back in the 90's - I think it was "Soul Cages" and "Dream of Blue Turtles" tours. What I used to love about watching him perform live was his passion for music. He'd gather up his band and they'd start jamming on stage. Didn't matter hundreds of people were there - they were having fun. That kind of passion for what you do is absolutely sexy.

I'm also captivated by good lyrics. When I was younger, I had to reach for the dictionary for a line from "Synchronicity" - "Mephistopheles is not your name." I looked up "synchronicity" while I was it. And, I wouldn't have read "Lolita" were it not for Sting saying, "Just like the old man in that book by Nabokov" in "Don't Stand So Close to Me." That line would drive me crazy and even when I was reading it, it kept churning in my head.

Sting's low crooning on these Elizabethan songs gave me chills - his voice oscillates perfectly, swaying from a whisper to a bellow. He commented a few times about being a rock-n-roll singer, but this type of music suited him so well, you forget this was not his forte.

Perfect background music for an evening with good friends, sitting in front of a roaring fire, candles lit and swirling a glass of bordeaux.

If anyone has a 16th century castle, please do invite me.

Lost Clouds

Thanks to SirenSongs, I experienced this beautiful site, "50 Million Missing" photographs of Indian women and girls. This collection is a reminder of the beauty and diversity of the many faces of Indian women.

Sadly, the value of an Indian female has not improved where female infanticide and dowry deaths are still occurring. We hear about the tech boom, the educated classes and modern advances made in India, but when girls and women are still considered a burden, where will society end up? It is the "dehumanization" of women when they are valued with monetary measures. Here are some links to articles about this urgent issue: Missing: 50 Million Indian Girls and India's Missing Daughters.

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I had received this poem this morning in my inbox as my Poem of the Day and it seems appropriate for this mood.

A Cloud withdrew from the Sky (895)

A Cloud withdrew from the Sky
Superior Glory be
But that Cloud and its Auxiliaries
Are forever lost to me

Had I but further scanned
Had I secured the Glow
In an Hermetic Memory
It had availed me now.

Never to pass the Angel
With a glance and a Bow
Till I am firm in Heaven
Is my intention now.

Emily Dickinson

For my poetry-phobic friends, the poem speaks about a cloud that was missed, an opportunity to see "superior glory." The moment could have been saved and reused again.

We need to stop and save the images of the Indian women and girls lest they become clouds that fade away with the sun.

On the Job Training: Motherhood - The End of the Innocence

She turns 6 tomorrow, on Valentine's Day.

This morning she was watching Sesame Street while I was racing around getting everything together to leave. Elmo was doing his usual routine with Dorothy the goldfish. Dorothy is Elmo's alter-ego. He masks his questions as her questions. For example, "Dorothy wants to know how you brush your hair." Then, a few children will say, "Dorothy, this is how I brush my hair," as if they're speaking to the goldfish.


So, Annika said, "Dorothy doesn't really talk. Elmo just talks for her."

I said, "Really?"

"Yeah, and did you know everyone on Sesame Street are just puppets?"

I asked, "Did someone tell you or you figured it out?" I started wondering if I should change her bus so she doesn't get exposed to influence from big kids.

"I figured it out. They were singing, and when they finished, they went down like puppets."

My friends had said that 6 is an age of change and a sudden maturity. I didn't think it would be like this. Then how come we still had a meltdown last night before bed?

I have to mourn a bit for those days when Elmo and Ernie were real to her. However, I shouldn't mourn too long because those characters are so alive to adults. I didn't grow up with Elmo (only Bert, Ernie, Kermit and Miss Piggy), but watching Elmo movies with my daughter, I fell in love with him too. I've seen my husband chuckle at a few of Elmo's antics, and he did not grow up on Sesame Street.

I was at the Thanksgiving Day parade in NYC a few years ago. When the Sesame Street float passed by, I was waving to Maria and the gang as if they were old friends and celebrities!

Anyway, the number of the day was 6.

The Written Life

Natasha Bedingfield’s song, “Unwritten” is always on the radio these days and her lyrics are intriguing and always stirs a flood of images in my head:

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

First of all, maybe it’s because I’m 30-something I can’t relate to the line "Today is where your book begins." I feel like I’m in the middle of writing my book. I’ve got quite a number of completed chapters. Some plotlines are good, some are interesting, some are bad and there was a lot of times when I was spinning my wheels, but they’re all in my book.

There are some things I may want to forget or wish I could do over, but it’s written with indelible ink. Every paragraph was critical in helping move my story to where I am today. The good part is there are lots of nice clean pages ahead of me. I do have to refer to the past pages to know what to write in the new pages.

If I were in my 20’s, I definitely would have identified with the song. It’s because I felt that my life was always beginning I felt I could take risks and do the things I did.

The second line that strikes me is “No one else can speak the words on your lips.” It’s about personal responsibility. Your life can’t move forward unless you do it. You can read about the benefits of yoga, understand the history and philosophies. Yet, unless you get up and do a surya-namaskar (sun salutation), ain’t nothin’ gonna happen.

I have a great quote taped to my computer monitor: “Winners do what losers don’t want to do.” Yeah, there’s a lot of things no one wants to do. However, if you want to succeed, you will do it. Most likely you will do well if others are refusing to do it.

New Articles online

I wanted to mention I have two reviews up on Desijournal.com:

"Mixed", a review of an anthology by multiracial authors

"Dor", a review of this film, which I had previously posted on my blog.

I've told my friends about my reviews.I was pleasantly surprised that one of my friends said he ordered the anthology from his library after reading my review. His library did not have it and will be getting it. By the way, I have a friend who always read the latest South Asian writers. I would ask him, "Where did you even find it?"

He replied, "I just go to the library and ask for it. Then they'll get it. They need to build up the multicultural collections, so they're happy to get it."

I love my library because it's so full of books by South Asian writers. It's crazy that I can't find David Sedaris, but Shyam Selvadurai and Monica Ali are right there.

Anyway, I'm happy these reviews are working and getting people inspired to read!

Words from Teachers

Recently, I went to a short story lecture led by Gunter David, a gentlemen and a writer with insight into literature and life. While discussing character development, he made a comment: People don't change. They may change their behavior, but they stay the same.

This echoed my grandfather's words to me the summer before I started college. He said, "You can't change people, but must accept them as they are." This has helped me a lot in life, especially when I was single and faced a lot of pressure to get married. My mom rolled her eyes and said I was "picky." Well, I was picky because I knew I couldn't change whoever I married. I would have to accept them as they were.

I heard a funny saying once: Men marry women hoping they won't change, and women marry men hoping they will change. So, it's about expectations. I didn't expect anyone to change, but have found we have. It's only natural that we start adopting traits of our partners -- he's become more calmer, while I've become more outspoken.

To take my grandfather's advice and couple it with Mr. David's advice, it makes sense. We are who we are and always will be. Yet, we've changed our behavior to work better together.

Another favorite quote:
Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have of trying to change others.
- Jacob M. Braude, author

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Last night, I saw a Hallmark commerical about a woman visiting her former professor and telling how important he had been to her. People always talk about the "one" teacher that was so important to them, and I could pick out a few teachers I liked. I didn't find my important teacher until my first graduate class at Penn State in 1999.

Dr. S had experience in hospital administration and really enjoyed teaching. The dynamics among the students in our class was strong - everyone looked forward to being there and enthusiastically participated. He started the class by putting up silly slides for a game - for example, a picture of a computer had a tissue box and stuffy nose (answer: Computer virus). He had one guy keep score and at the end of the semester, gave out a prize. Yes, I won. I got a small Penn State photo frame.

The first day, he held up a picture of a waterfall. He said to visualize this waterfall cascading and how everything has a cascading consequence. It can go in so many directions. He would ask, "What is in the news?" Let's say, "There was 2" of snow and a 2-hour delay at the schools" Cascading consequences are: Some parents may have to go to work and leave their kids alone for 2 hours. Some parents might go to work late. If they go to work late, they might lose 2 hours worth of pay. If there is a delay 4x in one month, they could lose 8 hours worth of pay. One day income is lost within a month due to snow. What is the impact on employer? This can go on and on.

We would do these types of analysis on various issues. We also did role playing once where I had to be a hospital administrator and he played the complaining employee. So, I had to put on a managerial hat and handle the real-life situation he was throwing at me. It was unusual for me because for about 30 seconds, I fell into character -- I started reacting as if it were real. It was a bit of high (now I see what Meryl and Gwyneth mean about characters becoming alive). I was impressed with myself for thinking fast and combatting his quick come-backs.

Anyway, there were many other things I took away from his class. He talked about office politics and corporate power plays. He illustrated Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs by giving us examples from his own experiences. We think of a teacher talking to a class, but a teacher should also listen. He always listened and was receptive to our ideas and suggestions.

I took a break in 2001 from graduate classes to have a baby and then returned later in the year. In 2003, I was chatting with classmates at lunch about Dr. S and one said, "Isn't he the one that died?" I stopped and asked more.

It turned out that Dr. S was attacked by his son, who was deemed psychotic and delusional. I found news articles and it was upsetting to read about his last moments, My sympathies go to his wife for her ordeal. He was only 63.

The impact of Dr. S's death on me is realizing how noble teaching is. Teachers have a greater influence on society than we acknowledge. The cascading consequences of what we learn in a classroom are immeasurable. As long as all of his students carry what he taught, practice it and teach it to others, he will always be alive. How powerful is that?

If I had a Million Dollars

I love the simple essence of this song. It reminds me of being a kid and lying on the grass in a friend's yard and just talking about what we'd do if we were rich, old, famous, or Olivia Newton-John.
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If I had a Million Dollars
by Barenaked Ladies
Listen

If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a house
(I would buy you a house)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a K-Car
(A nice Reliant automobile)
If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars
I'd build a tree fort in our yard
If I had million dollars
You could help, it wouldn't be that hard
If I had million dollars
Maybe we could put like a little tiny fridge in there somewhere
You know, we could just go up there and hang out
Like open the fridge and stuff
There would already be laid out foods for us
Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things

They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon
Well, can you blame 'em
Uh, yeah

If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a fur coat
(But not a real fur coat that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet
(Yep, like a llama or an emu)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains
(Ooh, all them crazy elephant bones)
And If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had a million dollars
Now, we'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more
If I had a million dollars
We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
But we would eat Kraft Dinner
Of course we would, we’d just eat more
And buy really expensive ketchups with it
That’s right, all the fanciest ke... dijon ketchups!
Mmmmmm, Mmmm-Hmmm

If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a green dress
(But not a real green dress, that's cruel)
And if I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you some art
(A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
Well, I'd buy you a monkey
(Haven't you always wanted a monkey)

If I had a million dollars
I’d buy your love

If I had a million dollars, If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars, If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
I'd be rich

Haikus in the Sky with Diamonds

After I got the taste of haikus, I started playing with some more words. I wrote these on the plane to CA last month, so you can see my inspirations. And, Henri Matisse's "Icarus" fits perfectly with the poem!

A mile-high sunset
scorches the horizon and
with a hint of green.

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Had Icarus flown
at night, the stars would have bowed
and the moon cheered.

Favorite New Products

Here are some new products I’ve come across recently that I’ve been excited about (I’m blogging about food, so it has to be nutty).

- Snapple White Tea – Green Apple: This is so fresh, light and tart with green apple flavor. I nuked it for 30 seconds and it tastes delicious warm. Reminds me of hot apple cider. Best part is that it’s low in sugar.

- Kashi’s TLC bars Dark Chocolate and Cherry: Wow! I love the tangy cherry with dark chocolate, and I’m not a cherry person. Not too sweet, either.

- Altoids Dark Chocolate and Cinnamon – ok, is it a dark chocolate candy or is it a cinnamon Altoid? I love all things cinnamon, I love all things chocolate. So, I bought this hesitatingly, but it was quite nice and just melts.

Me-zuki, Su-zuki

We’re doing Suzuki violin lessons!

I’ve been looking for a musical avenue for Annika since she has an aptitude for music and singing. When she was three, she was humming a song to herself. Then she tried singing the same song in different octaves – going higher and lower. She can listen to a song once and repeat the melody. Both of our families have an ability for music -- my husband and his family sing and my mother’s side sings, while I took after my father’s side for music appreciation. Therefore, the grandmothers and relatives have been pushing me, “You have to get her into music.”

My response was, “Can she turn 5 at least?”

I looked into piano lessons, which are expensive (average $30/half hour). Plus you eventually have to invest in a piano. At this age, who knows what the commitment level will be. When I read her public school offered Suzuki Violin with only violin rental fee, I jumped. I played viola in high school, so I should be in a better position to coach her than in piano, which I don’t play.

The key for success in Suzuki violin is for the parents to be the “home teachers.” Therefore, parents must attend all lessons for the first 2-3 years. The classes will be 12-12:30 on Mon and Thurs – perfect, I can go during lunch, I thought. I do not like to schedule any activities on weeknights.

After I signed up, I learned that the music teacher goes to two schools, so Monday’s it’s at Annika’s home school. On Thursdays, I have to cut out of weekly meeting early to pick up Annika from her school, drive to the other school, have the lesson, drop her to afternoon kindergarten school and return to work. Maybe one of us will eat lunch.

For the first month, only parents attend so I do not need to do the extra chauffeuring. I reason with myself that I only have to do this until June because next year it will all be in one school. We’ll get through it.

The Suzuki Method

"I want to make good citizens.

If a child hears fine music from the day of is birth

and learns to play it himself, he develops sensitivity, discipline and endurance. He gets a beautiful heart.”

—Shin'ichi Suzuki

Currently, we’ve been learning the philosophy of the program. Dr. Suzuki taught in post-World War II Japan, and his intent was for children to be sensitive and caring individuals. He felt this could be done through music. His intent was not for a fleet of musicians.

The Suzuki method of learning music is much different than traditional music lessons. To give an analogy, children learn a language by listening, babbling, and then speaking. They begin with a few words and then can say sentences. They don’t learn to read until a few years after they’ve been speaking.

Suzuki method of musical instruction is the same way. Children will learn to listen and play music right now, and then learn to read music in 2nd grade. This way, their ears and memories are sharper and they learn discipline of practicing. We have a CD that is to be listened all the time so the music is drilled into their head.

The school offers suggestions and games on getting them to practice. You cannot force them to a rigid 30 minutes of practice. It should be an enjoyable experience for you and your child, so practice lasts while your child is happy to do it. If they get distracted or irritable, stop. One of the key things about practicing is that it should be your time with your child – let it be a time the child looks forward with you.

The philosophy is that it should be a nurturing environment. The teacher said, "Remember how you taught your child their first word. You repeated it slowly and often. And, when they said it, you made a big fuss and encouraged them to say more words. Same thing with music." The teacher assures us it works.

Me and my Viola
I started playing the viola in 8th grade when we moved to NJ. I joined the district orchestra by 10th grade, but I had to play with younger students. I think I was good for where I was, but it was hard since other orchestra students had more experience. I think there was only 2-3 orchestra members from my high school (Band was huge!) so I missed having that comradery.

Anyway, once I turned in my viola as a high school senior, I have not touched an instrument. I often missed not having a musical creative outlet. I’ve exposed Annika to western classical music since she was young since she sleeps with music. Not because I believed in Mozart Effect or anything. It was really to adhere to a routine. She would hear certain songs and know it was time to sleep. Hopefully, she'll stay awake during violin!

Anyway, I flipped through Annika’s music book and I panicked a little. I could not remember how to read music! Couldn't remember the strings on the viola, which are slightly different from the violin. In class this week, Ms. Anderson reviewed the music and the strings. All of sudden, I felt as if a switch was turned on and it all started coming back to me, 20 years later! I could slowly recognize notes again.

Regardless of my own viola experience, I'm starting clean with the Suzuki lessons. Just go with the flow and do whatever Ms. Anderson says.

By the way, Ms Anderson has a tendency to talk to parents like children too. We had to do a bow and stand correctly. First time, she went around and adjusted our poses. She asked us to get into our poses again and we all did it correctly. She clapped and raved! My goodness! But, I'll tell ya, all of us 30-something and 40-something people felt really proud of ourselves.. can't imagine how our 5 year olds will feel.

I would love to hear from any other Suzuki parents that are out there.

Wonder Women!

A post to commemorate another First Female milestone in our government - Nancy Pelosi was sworn in an Speaker of the House.

For me, I always remember Tip O'Neill and Newt Gingrich as Speakers, so this will change a lot of perceptions people have about women in government. I've finished Hillary Clinton's "Living History," and am really impressed by her talents and grace as a legal mind, a diplomat and a working mother. I don't know what her chances are as President, but politics is her lifeblood.

I've experienced a lot of 'first woman' and 'first Indian' milestones in my life. These are a handful that have made an indelieble mark - Sandra Day O'Conner as Supreme Court Justice, Madeline Albright as Secretary of State, Sally Ride as NASA astronaut and Kalpana Chawla as NASA Astronaut of Indian descent.

It'll be interesting to see what type of perceptions our daughters will have about women's roles in the world, if any. As a child of the '70's, I had read a book called "You Can Be What You Want." (something like that). I remember it said girls can be anything they want and had pictures of Indira Gandhi and Margaret Thatcher, and female doctors, construction workers, etc. We grew up watching and playing "Wonder Woman," "Bionic Woman" and "Charlie's Angels."

Nowadays, we don't think twice about being a woman and entering a different field. I have a lot of female friends who are in wonderful professions as surgery, dentistry, veterinary and the legal system. I've always pointed to my daughter that it's not just the 'boys fly rockets', but Indian "girls", too (Kalpana Chawla and Sunita Williams)

This is not to say that the glass ceiling does not exist, since it is at a higher levels. My friend had pointed out how a male doctor who was less experienced than her was offered a higher salary. The hospital did a song and dance to explain. She's since left that hospital and received picking up the pieces of our then-shabby company and polishing it. We do see a fair share of men, women and minorities in top roles. My team was great because the technical director and network administrator were women and ran the show.

When I changed careers from nonprofit to IT, it was a shock to work with many men, since nonprofit was led by more women. I worked for a top global consulting company and leadership was only white men. I didn't feel ethnicity was an issue since there were many Asians and South Asians in other IT positions. However, I would be in a conference room and count the number of men to women. It would be 10 men and 3 women. I always felt I had to work harder to be taken seriously and to be heard because I was a woman.

A friend who is now a father of a daughter said he can't believe how smart girls are. My thoughts exactly as I watch girls and boys develop. He was wondering why there aren't more women at the top and actually running the world. I pointed out that while doors are open and women have the knowledge and capability, not many women walk through them. Rather, they choose not to walk through them. Many step aside for a break to raise children or prefer comfortable and less demanding career roles.

We definitely want our daughters to think freely and not feel their brothers will excel while they can't. That reminds me of the idea of Shakespeare's sister from Virginia Woolf. Women were not encouraged to write at that time. What if Shakespeare had a sister who was equally or more talented than he was? Her voice was stifled. Actually, India's own Rabindranath Tagore had a sister, Swarna Kumari Devi, who was also a writer and activist. The world doesn't know her name, though her work was published and probably influenced her younger brother's works.

Like the women before us, we need to keep giving our daughters a voice and a forum -- we'll be amazed by what they can say to the world.

Firecrackers - 2007

The firecrackers are not only for rejoicing in the new year, but for different issues churning in the world that fire me up.


I'm Dreaming of a White January: First of all, I hate snow. I'm not a snow person - only thing I like about snow is padding around the house in wool socks and drinking hot chocolate as it quietly falls outside. Don't want to go out, don't want to ski or do anything. I'm all about summer and sun.

Where is the snow? I know Denver and Buffalo have already faced enough snow, but did they get our snow too? I live in the northeast and it is January 1st and we have not seen snow. I need to see the snow as an assurance everything in the world is ok. Forgive me for this blunt comparison, but it's like a menstrual period. It's not exactly fun, but it's an assurance that your body is working and is normal. If you don't get it, then you have to pay attention. Right now, I don't feel like Mother Nature's cycle is regular.

• "An Inconvenient Truth" - we watched this movie last week and it is shocking and surprising to learn the effects of the climate crisis. I'm really angry at the US for being in denial and not joining the world in its efforts to combat the climate crisis. As for individuals, check out this list of tips on small changes you can make to your lifestyle to help save the planet.
  

• Arctic Ice Shelf Breaks - The Alyes Ice Shelf in the Canadian Arctic collapsed and floated for 30 miles until it froze. It was 41 square miles and the tremors were picked up by earthquake monitors 155 miles away. Let's just think a second about the enormity of this. Manhattan Island is 20 square miles. Ice shelf bigger than Manhattan breaking off and floating. Changing the natural geography of the arctic. Yes, the earth has always been alive and changing and resculpting herself. Yet, not at this pace. What will be the impact when the spring thaw comes?
• Excerpt from article: "It is consistent with climate change," Vincent said, adding that the remaining ice shelves are 90 percent smaller than when they were first discovered in 1906."
  

• Polar Bears Becoming Endangered Due to Climate Change -- I'm not an animal activist, nor do I have Sierra Club calendars. However, we have to be alert to these issues. The bears can't find food, they're drowning because they have to swim longer distances between ice and land and becoming victims to the changes humans have accelerated to make.
  
• Excerpt from article: "We are not going to lose the polar bears," said Terry Root, an ecologist at Stanford University in Palo Alto, California.

  "We will always have individuals around in zoos and places like that, but we are going to lose the natural behavior of polar bears," she said.
  "We are so strongly affecting their habitat, their way of life, that they are going to have to basically become very similar to raccoons [which rely heavily on humans for survival], in the sense they are not going to be able to feed the way they have fed before, on seals and off the ice."

• Climate Crisis vs Global Warming - What's in a name? Everything! For years, it's been called global warming and frankly, that sounds nice. (Yeah, Boston is little chilly and could use a little Florida sun). Yet, it's not about everyone becoming warm. It'll be about a total climate change.

Has the US and the Media Lost Sense of Humanity: I made a comment the other night about Saddam Hussein's death after I read it online. In the morning, we watched CNN and they showed his last moments. We were shocked! The reporter says, "This is what Iraqis saw on TV this morning." Excuse me, this is what Americans are seeing on TV. Philadelphia Inquirer had full page of pictures. What is this?

These photos are not required. Tell me he was executed. Don't show me the rope being put around his neck. I thought we were a "civilized society" that did not participate in public executions. My friend pointed out that this is no better than those murderers who have been executing hostages and posting them on the internet. It's propagating the same behavior.

The Bush administration obviously orchestrated this even though they can say the Iraqi Tribunal who decreed this. Interesting time, huh? The Americans are tired of a war they don't understand and feel betrayed by their leaders. Republicans are demoted. They need to show the Americans, "Yeah remember big bad Saddam? We got him, you know? We know what we're doing. (gulp)"

The acceleration of Saddam's execution is unbelievable. How come Milosevic rotted in jail for genocide and war crimes? What about Idi Amin who had slaughtered so many people in Uganda? Augusto Pinochet lived to a nice ripe old age. No public hanging for them? I don't know what the criteria is for removing and executing tyrannical dictators. Phantom WMDs?