Still Talking about "Sex and the City"

When S&TC was on HBO in the late 90’s, I didn’t have HBO. I heard about it – interviews with the stars, references on TV shows and the awards. I was single and working in NYC in the mid-90s, but I didn’t have HBO and my life was much different anyway (less glamorous for sure!) Then I got married and didn’t really care about it.

For some reason, in 2001, we got HBO. I had just given birth to my daughter, and I sat down to watch the ladies. I was blown away by Miranda Hobbes. For the first time, someone was not happy with motherhood besides me! I was actually angry after my daughter was born because I felt I had been misled into thinking everything will click once a child is born. I had read every book and website, and thought I knew it all. There’s so much motherhood propaganda out there that it’s magical and easy. Then came Miranda complaining about being a mother – jeans don’t fit, the boobs are out of control, the baby crying, you’re crying, everyone’s partying and living life without you -- ALL of it. I was thrilled to see honest depiction for a change. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your kid or anything, but motherhood is hard.

Miranda hooked me into the show and all the friendships were assuring. I was going through some friendship transitions in real life, so it was appealing to see strong women friends. And, yes, we all watched the last season with excitement every week – waiting for Carrie to get with “The Russian.” Even though I was an Aidan fan, I didn’t mind the Russian.

Now, 20 years later, I watched all 6 seasons on Netflix continuously over two months and here are my thoughts.

Important note – once again, I do not have HBO Max and have only seen one season of “And Just Like That.” So my comments are focusing on the original series and not what’s happening in the new one. Please don’t come after me that it’s changed. I know. Also, I have a review of the first movie when it came out in 2008 on my site.

The Character Story Lines

The best is Miranda’s. She grew from being a tightly closed person who built a protective wall around here to a family woman, allowing people in. The emphasis on being “career-oriented” was realistic since that’s the way people are – they had meetings, going to work in a suit, putting work before personal life. Also, they did an excellent story build with Miranda and Steve — you could plot the relationship with Steve on a timeline and it makes perfect sense. They both grown and change, branch out a little, but come back together. They are connected to each other. When she tells him she loves him while he’s dating that Debbie, he’s like “You’re the one! Are you kidding?” Seriously, excellent writing and character development!

Samantha is also very consistent – she knows what she wants and doesn’t compromise on that. The relationship with Smith is very sweet and again, she grows from it by breaking down her walls. The way she changes is not like a switch, but little by little.  Again, masterful writing.

Charlotte has a good story arc as well. She knows what she wants, has her standards, and unfortunately, is continuously told she’s too idealistic. She succumbs to the pressure from others, but she does circle back to her own truth.

Carrie Bradshaw is a hot mess. She is no different at 38 than she is at 30. Let’s start with the basic that she’s irresponsible with money. For reference, even in early 2000’s single women were responsible for themselves. I loved the episode where the friends were all over her for her financial situation. It’s crazy that Americans feel comfortable talking about sex rather than money (I think I heard Suze Orman say this years ago). Yes, it’s cute that she spends money on expensive shoes. But when she has no money or savings, she doesn’t wake up. There was an episode where she needed money, and her friends helped her as best as they could. But then she confronted Charlotte, who doesn’t owe her anything – she’s got a lot on her own plate. Even at 38 she’s still expecting someone else to take care of her, which is how she fell in with Petroskovsky. She should show some sense of growth about money -- I wouldn’t be mad if she said “I’m on a budget and saving now.”

Also, she should’ve seen a therapist. She used her friends as her sounding board, and they tell her things that she doesn’t want to hear (“You can’t see Big anymore”) and she does what she wants. She has the balls to tell Aidan that she can’t give up Big because “he’s in [her] life” as a friend – WTF. It’s not like you share a kid or a dog together. He freaking shows up when he wants to show up. He doesn’t have to be in her life. If she was an adult, she would’ve cut him out fully instead of being “friends.” I’ve always ‘stanned’ Aidan and even more so when I saw all the episodes back to back. He was consistent and reasonable in his actions and his words. Yet, she was too blocked to be open. And, yes, I loved it when he yelled at her for not returning his love and commitment. She needed that.

Mr. Big is an immature rich-man-child. There’s one episode with Joel Grey where Carrie mentions her father abandoning her as a child. Yeah, I wanted to know this earlier when she was acting up. Big calling her “Kid” and picking up the bill everywhere was comforting for her. Even if he was not rich, she still would’ve gone towards him as protector. I remember when the finale originally aired, a friend criticized the ending back “All it shows is that you have to wait around for the jerk to finally show up.”

Back to Carrie’s immaturity, when Aidan asks her to stop smoking, I thought it was refreshing her friends said they agreed and they only put up with it because it’s her.  Wow.. that is amazing. That’s a lot to ask of your friends and be totally unaware that you’re the only smoker in the group. (I know I’m acting like they’re all real people, but still. )

For a positive, I was impressed that she offered to babysit Brady. Of course she treated him like an accessory, but she’s gotta be the cool Aunt.

More about Carrie

I think Carrie succeeds as a character because of Sarah Jessica Parker. She has a way of walking into a room confidently, and being unassuming the way she looks down.

Years ago, when the last season aired, I liked “The Russian” and thought it would work. However, looking at it now, they were not right for each other. He told her who he was and how he lives. He doesn’t want to change his lifestyle. She would need to adapt to it – and some women would be fine with it. But not Carrie –she tried to reshape herself and reshape him, too.

I found it especially insensitive of Carrie that when Alexander mentioned his friend died from cancer and Carrie refused to hear it. She was in denial and so self-absorbed (as usual) that she pouted about not being heard. She should’ve acknowledged that Alexander had lost a friend and was still grieving. She always needs a whack to the head.

She gave a speech about giving up her column – “that’s who I am.” Girl, you had a book.. you could promote yourself as an author. People on line are very confused how much a columnist makes weekly (supposedly Candace Bushnell made money writing a newspaper column). However, I wanted her to grow as a writer and have some ambition. Her book that was published was a collection of her articles.

And just like that..

I’m done with the series and I do feel closer to them. I love how the series was a snapshot of pop culture and sentiments of the time. For example, there was a moment of introducing the word ‘frenemy’ as well as the attitudes toward different sexual orientations. And the writing is so witty and tight, that I have to wonder sometimes if the plot points were built around a ingenious line.

Anyway, let me know if anyone can share their HBO Max password with me so I can catch up on the women in 2024.

Portugal - Lisboa e Porto - Travel (Memories and Tips from November 2022)

There was no reason to even think about Portugal this year, although we have been pining for a European vacation. We haven't traveled outside of the US for a few years (global pandemics do that every time). It was when one of those travel ads popped up on Facebook that I decided to dig a little deeper. Sure why not? We dug in more - checking flights, hotels and rentals. Where exactly are we going? Do we need to go to Porto? Sure, we won't be going back so why not? Within a day or two, we  grabbed some flight deals and we were booked! We decided to fly into Lisbon and out through Porto with a stop over in London.

We did a lot of research and we do have a google doc somewhere with links to other blogs and videos of best places in Lisbon and Porto. It was crazy at times watching YouTube videos of travel vloggers eating pastel de nata and hitting all the must-see sites. Because we were going for one week, we wanted to make sure we used our time wisely. We read reviews to understand the sites -- why spend the time and money to get to a particular location when you can get the same view from a different point?

Lisbon

What to know

From our research, we understood that Lisbon is the "City of 7 Hills." What that means is there is a lot of walking uphill, downhill, stairs and ramps, and a lot of cobblestones. Once we got there, we realized that was the truth.

- Wear your comfy walking shoes. No one is strutting in heels in the old city. In fact, sneaker-type, rubber-soled footwear with a good grip is preferred since the cobblestones can be a little smooth at times.

- Check the weather. Since we went in the Fall, which is the rainy season, we carried umbrellas. We were grateful it rained intermittently and you will have to be careful on the stone streets (thank goodness you have the good shoes).

- We stayed in an apartment rental (via Booking.com) and our main criteria was to stay in a flat area. Our logic was that after a day of traipsing around the city, you don't want to climb uphill to your apartment. 

Therefore, we chose the border of Alfama and Baixa, just around the corner from the main Praca de Comercio. Unfortunately, we had rented an apartment - we gave a lengthy review on booking.com website about this. While it was facing the main street, the entrance was behind the building. We had to walk up ramps and stairs and go into a dark alley to open the door. It was insane. The apartment was cute and delivered what we needed, but we limited the times we went up and down.

Walking tours 

This is the link to the Lisbon tour group with the orange umbrellas. 

• Alfama and Mouraria - The oldest neighborhoods in Lisbon

We took a walking tour the first day of Alfama  - much to the disdain of my tired daughter. We wanted to understand where we were, what's around us, get some inside info from the tour guides, etc. 

Unfortunately, there was a lot of walking uphill so we did lag behind the others a bit. Since we went through Alfama, there were women selling homemade Ginjinha from their doorways for a Euro. Our tour guide stopped at the one who served it in little chocolate shot glasses. It was sweet and I appreciated a shot of anything to keep us going. 

• Baixa-Chiado - the downtown area of Lisbon
  

We took this walking tour of Baixa-Chiado the next afternoon. We were grateful this tour was on much flatter streets than Aflama, however it was raining intermittently. So, the tour guide was able to help us find shelter points on the trail.

We loved Rua Augusta with the shops and the decorative tiles on the road. We happened to be there during the 2022 FIFA World Cup, so restaurants with outdoor seating had TV screens. Crowds were forming to watch and cheer. Passersby would pause to check the score and who was playing. The tour guide took us to the Igreja do Carmo Church, which is the cathedral without the roof. We weren't able to go inside, but we did see the Igreja São Domingos, which has a story of a fire and haunting darker history about persecution of Jews.

Livraria Bertrand is the oldest bookstore in the world, and absolutely a beautiful building. We felt like we were walking through a monastery with its intimate archways. Grab a cappuccino in the cafe in the back with a mural of poet Fernando Pessoa. We learned about Fernando Pessoa while we were there, and I regretfully had not read his work. However Lisbon's tributes to him have intrigued me. There's a statue of him on the street not too far from there, and I actually saw a street artist earlier in the day dressed like him with a mustache, suit and hat.

Being there in November only let us see partial Christmas decorations, but there was a pretty Christmas market in the Rossio Square. 

By the way, you don't need to wait in line and pay to go up Santa Justa elevator. We learned of different elevators in the buildings. Also, from the 2nd floor of Rossio train station, there's a door that leads to an area with an amazing view of the city. Better than the Santa Justa elevator. 

What We Ate

• Italian Republic (R. dos Arameiros 15, 1100-389 Lisboa, Portugal) 

This is a casual pizzeria and we were actually delighted by the young Indian hostess there. She helped us out with good information about the area, and we made a point to come there again. We enjoyed the dinner but were blown away by the "garlic bread with cheese" - it was a small cheese pizza. We had a pitcher of sangria with the meal, which never goes wrong.

• Baixa-Mar Mariscos e Petiscos (R. dos Bacalhoeiros 28B, 1100-071 Lisboa, Portugal)

Probably one of the best meals we had in Lisbon. Our apartment was right above so we were eager to try this place around the corner. It is actually 2 restaurants under the same umbrella - menus were different. The staff was extremely friendly and we enjoyed the Portuguese seafood specialties. 

• Casa de Fado Porta d'Alfama (R. de São João da Praça 17A, 1100-517 Lisboa, Portugal)

We had saved the traditional Fado music and dinner for our last night in Lisbon, and we wished we had done this every day instead. This restaurant in Alfama is on the same street with other Fado dinner restaurants. After some point, it was confusing so we had to trust our gut and pick one randomly. They all offer music and special menus; be sure to make reservations with them.

We thought the hostess (owner) was accommodating. Though she didn't speak English, she was able to find us someone to translate. I don't remember the food, but the experience was memorable. it's a small restaurant and we had traditional Portuguese food, but the singers and musicians were fabulous. Because of the small space, we were chatting with another couple behind us, who shared lots of stories (traveling the world, meeting the Dalai Lama). Then, the performers asked one of the guests to join them. She was an accomplished singer from another region, so there was an impromptu performance of Portuguese songs. This was one of the most enjoyable experiences. And, the singers were so amazing. We weren't familiar with Fado music, so this was so beguiling. 

Recommended Restaurants We Couldn't Get to

• Discreto (Arco Portas do Mar 9, 1100-035 Lisboa, Portugal)
•  Lisboa Tu & Eu 2 (Escadinhas das Portas do Mar 4, 1100-119 Lisboa, Portugal) This has a cool artsy vibe and there are stairs to climb to the entrance. It was difficult to get reservations here.
  

Pasteis de Nata

We watched a lot of youtube videos of people going to the famous oldest pastry shop in Belem area of Lisbon. We saw the lines and how strict the rules were. We saw the blind taste tests of different pastel de nata from different locations. 

These are the delicate egg custard tarts that are famous in Lisbon. These are fairly inexpensive for a couple of euros and a sweet snack.

When we went to Pasteis de Belem, we were thrilled to see there wasn't a line of people. We decided to get the egg pastries and chocolate croissant.

MORE TO COME

- Pastel de nata in Sintra

- Drinking Ginjinha

- Day in Sintra

- 2 Days in Porto

Diwali at Home - Laddoos & Cookies

Happy Diwali!!  Wishing everyone a happy and healthy new year! Here are some links on Diwali and the background. 

Growing up, Diwali did not make much sense. It was inconsistent, no one else celebrated it and it could not compare with Halloween and Christmas. Mom would make a special dinner, turn on lights around the house and have special pujas/ceremonies. Everyone would call to wish Sal Mubarak for the new year. All the jewelery would be taken from the bank and blessed - thanking Lakshmi and showing appreciation for the wealth we have. It was definitely acknowledged in our house, but not given enough encouragement I believe. 

 For my husband, who grew up in India, this is Christmas. Lots of traditions from special foods to lighting fire crackers to family and friends getting together. Plus per the Hindu calendar, he was born on the first day of Diwali. So, everyone always remembers his Indian birthday. (My daughter is born on Valentines' Day. The only memorable event I have for mine, June 30, is that it's the last day of the fiscal year). 

Anyway, for my daughter is a different world than it was for me. Sesame Street talks about Diwali. Elementary schools have Diwali displays. Employees are taking off on Diwali as a "religious holiday". There's more awareness and pride in this holiday. With my daughter, we're going to light candles around the house. 

We went to a party on Saturday and friends had sparklers and firecrackers which we lit in the yard. It was fun - and was my first time seeing firecrackers without a simultaneous radio or TV broadcast. Annika was a bit scared at first, but quickly got over her fears. 

I found a book about Diwali at the library and Annika and her daddy read it together. It was great later during the firecrackers and I asked (to no one in particular) what was going on when they were trying to light a firecracker. She said "Mom, this is just like the book. That's what they're doing," rolling her eyes and her voice in exasperation. Sorry. I missed the reading. A few friends and I decided to join forces and prepare some homemade treats at each other's houses - chuklis, besan laddoo, karanji. 

To get my daughter involved, we baked toll-house chocolate chip cookies - why not?. She helped me with the tray of goodies to bring to our friends' house - laddoos, pistachio sweets with silver foil and chocolate chip cookies. 

 While it's important to maintain one's heritage, it's exciting to begin new traditions. That's what being American is all about, isn't it?

San Juan Puerto Rico Tips and Recap - May 2021

This was my 3rd vacation to San Juan, Puerto Rico, but my first travel blog about it. My first trip was in 1995 as a girls trip, staying at the La Concha hotel in Condado, while my husband and I stayed on our trip 2004 at an Isla Verde hotel. This time we stayed at a house in Dorado.

Over the years, we've been to resorts in Mexico, Bahamas, Dominican Republic, but Puerto Rico is the one place where there's so much to see and do. Actually, because of my experience with PR as a sight-seeing destination, we were actually confused in other places - wait, we can't leave the resort? There are no historic sites or monuments? There are no rain forests to hike through? What about the art museums and bookstores?

The Age of COVID 19

These are tips and updates as of May 2021, as we're stepping out carefully. My family is vaccinated so we felt safe enough to venture forth. However, we followed the Travel Guidelines on the Puerto Rico tourism site. 

• We needed to get tested 72 hours prior to arrival and post our tests to the online portal. 
• We all received texts and emails with our special QR codes. 
• After we retrieved our bags, we presented our codes to the health officers. They scanned it and took our temperatures before we proceeded. 

Subsequently, we received a daily email alerts (for 2 weeks) asking us if we were experiencing any symptoms listed. We would need to confirm Yes or No. If you do not reply - all of us thought this was a spam at first  - you will receive a phone call from a health official.  

Restaurants and shops offered hand sanitizers and frequently insisted we comply. Also, mask wearing signs were all over, including at the open air historic sites. Even if someone was working outside, they wore their masks. I know it's a challenge to get vaccines outside of the mainland US, but you respect everyone. 

Viejo San Juan (Old San Juan)

On our previous trips, we stayed fairly close to Old San Juan so we could go via bus or taxi. This time we stayed in Dorado so it was a bit of a crazy drive. (The drive is straight forward highways, however, people drive pretty nuts so it gets stressful). 

If you want to see everything at relaxed paced and enjoy the route - sit in the bars or the plazas, fly a kite by El Morro or visit the shops and galleries -- I would recommend this as 1 full day tour or 2 half-days tours. The city is built on hills and it could be quite hot, so be ready to go up and down hills. Someone advised us to download the app Visit A City, which gave us a perfect walking tour of San Juan. We wished we had found this earlier!

Day 1 - we toured the Castillo San Felipe Del Morro, which has beautiful views of the water and the city.  There are former prison cells, sentry boxes and lots of levels.  There's a lot of walking here in open sun, and it's great to see people flying kites on the grounds since the winds are so strong by the water. There is a $10 entry fee, which includes both forts and is good for 24 hours. So, don't feel like you need to walk and finish both in one day. Afterwards, we walked down Calle de Sebastian, which seems to be lined bars and pubs. We wandered up and down the streets and ended by the pier, which was buzzing with activity. Lots of opportunities to pose in front of the iconic colorful buildings with the beautiful balconies and flowers that reminded me of Madrid and Barcelona.

Challenges: Since it was a beautiful Sunday, the town was packed with people. So, it was a challenge to find parking at Ballaja lot, but we landed on a small valet lot next to the Cathedral de San Juan Bautista. We were looking for a nice open place for drinks, but were disappointed to see some of the notable restaurants were closed (some permanently), while others were quite full. 

 

Day 2

We went early on Monday morning to Castillo San Cristóbal and enjoyed the quiet town with handfuls of tourist. We found parking easily, and made note of the restaurants around Plaza Colon. We walked on Calle de San Francisco and Calle de la Fortaleza. We stumbled upon 7ven Seas Art Gallery, which had beautiful work by local artists. We continued to the end of the street with the flag displays, and then to the Cathedral. There's a little park across from the church with a grand tree that reminded me of Spain again. 

 

We also found Poets Passage, where the owner is living my best life. Beautiful and charming bookstore/art gallery with a cafe and small stage in the back for open mic performances. 

Rain Forest & Waterfalls

Puerto Rico's El Yunque rain forest is a must see. I remember on my previous trips how we took the precarious drive up the mountain and hiking towards the waterfalls, and the lush views of the forests are so beautiful.

However, the new process is to make reservations online as they are limiting the number of visitors. Someone advised us to get our reservations as soon as possible. Unfortunately, acquiring reservations is difficult to procure - we logged in at 11:56 to get the 12:00 release of tickets, but at 12:02, they were all gone. Therefore, we decided to let it go. 

Instead, we found this list of waterfalls to visit in Puerto Rico. After consulting maps and checking reviews, we decided to go ahead with La Canoa Falls or the El Hippie Waterfalls. This is on the other side of the main Rio Grande entrance to the rain forest, and we drove through small towns. We loved this part because majority of the island is going to be rural. You see green mangoes and lemons on trees in someone's yard... fields with cows and horses grazing. The square houses with the iron screens reminded us of Indian houses - tropical environments need to have those types of structures to help keep cool. We enjoyed the drive though the small towns, but on the way back, we got on the main highway fairly quickly.

The experience of going to the waterfalls was so unexpected. At first, we were concerned that the rocks were so slippery. This was a spot where families came together - young and old. They had picnics set up on the side of the rocks. Everyone was swimming and diving into the clear pool of water from the waterfalls. People were climbing up the rocks to the different levels, or you could just sit on a rock and soak your feet in cool spring water. The beauty of these rock formations is stunning. Do recommend water shoes if you want to walk around the rocks - though we felt better without our shoes.

 Post-Vacation Site Suggestion 

I just read that these falls were near a town of Naguabo; it would've been nice to check this out since we were right there. We did drive through Luquillo Beach and we marveled at the unique terrain with grass and pine trees mixed in with the palm trees and sand.

Post-Vacation Restaurant Suggestions

Here's a good list of top restaurants, but we were unable to go to these. El Asador looked amazing, but they were not open and the timing did not work out for us. Barrachina is supposed to be the home of the first piña coladas. However, it seemed to be touristy with a line out the door. Just made me nervous that if we stand in line, and the piña coladas tastes just like any other. And, honestly, the best piña coladas I have had are served in a plastic cup on the beach. 

If you are in Dorado, we had the best veggie nachos and tacos at this Mexican place called Vagon. I'm not a fan of nachos, but I'm a team player and always go along with the orders. But this one was such a surprise with sauteed onions and peppers on the nachos. We had this on Taco Tuesday, and then I had to order it again for Nacho Saturday!

Puerto Rico has so many nice restaurants with Carribbean staples, as well as American mainstays like Subway and Applebee's. For travelers, it's easy to find food within your budget anywhere, as well as Walmart and Costco if you need to stock up at a rental.

Casa Bacardi

On my first trip to the Barcardi Rum Factory, I fell in love. It was just a quiet tour and we got simple rum samples under a wide patio surrounded by palm trees. I wanted to work there - why not? The second time we went, I was disappointed because it was way too touristy with specialty cocktails sold under the patio. Much like Disney World as we spent time watching movies and taking rides.

So, this time we did not go, though I was interested in old time's sake. However, you apparently need to make reservations two weeks in advance and tickets are $15 now. I'm surprised they're charging because one would think they made enough by dropping all the tourists off at the gift shop where you buy bottles to take home.

Other Blogs To Check

Colorful Walking Tour of Old San Juan

 5 Days in San Juan, Puerto Rico: The Perfect Caribbean Getaway

 

Dorado Beach

Anne of Green Gables and The Railway Children

I'm finally reading Anne of Green Gables thanks to the series "Anne with an E." Somehow, even though this book is exactly in my preferred genre of books when I was young, but I never read it. How did I miss it?

It's not that "Anne of Green Gables" wasn't available. I saw it on every spinning book rack at the library. I did read "Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm," "Pollyanna" and "Heidi" - as they fit the criteria above. So I assumed Anne was in the same vein, so I'm good and have it covered. I also figured it would be the same but just more polished - maybe like "The Secret Garden." That is another book I never read, but saw different movie versions. I had friends gush about it, and I was fine without it. 

So, I recently requested a copy from the library and I'm rather enjoying it. I do wish I had read this through 11-year-old eyes rather than as an adult. Comparing the book to the Netflix series - it's really stayed true to all of the characters' spirits and storytelling. It's also intriguing since they're giving it modern sensibilities.

What kind of books did I like to read at the end of elementary school?

• Does it have an orphan as the hero (e.g., Noel Streatfield's "Ballet Shoes" series)
  
• Does it have a heroine that doesn't have conventionally good looks, such as as mousy brown hair (e.g., Katie John books by Mary Calhoun, Pippi Longstocking books)
  
• Is there poverty or struggle involved (e.g., "Little House on the Prairie" series)
  
• Does it take place in another era? ("All of a Kind Family", "Little Women" books)
• Am I going to cry and can I read it over and over? (everything else!)

The book that I loved seems to have escaped commercial popularity. My favorite book was "The Railway Children" first published in 1906 by Edith Nesbit. My father had brought this book home one day for me. We actually did not own a lot of books because we were big patrons of the library. We trekked back and forth every week with armloads of books. (We lived in Queens, NY in 1970's so we were free to walk to the library.) After all these years, I recently downloaded a library copy it on my Kindle to reread, and I loved it. I found the 2000 movie version on Amazon last year; actually seeing it helped clarify some of the confusing parts of the book and my comprehension. There was a "hound in a red jersey" and I was confused if it was a dog or a boy.

The story is about 3 British siblings and their mother who have to live in the country for some time because the father was involved in some "business matters." They had to shift to their country home and "play poor" for a bit. (They had a 'Schitt's Creek" situation). They have their adventures near the railway station, the locals and even the passengers on the train.

As the oldest of three, I easily identified with Roberta (Bobbie), but there were times I did not understand her. Though I did feel for her trying to manage her younger siblings since I had a brother and sister as well. The way they entered the old house reminded me of the way we had moved into our big empty house in Queens and spent time exploring the house and the environs.

One of my favorite parts was when they made a birthday cake for someone and whipped up frosting out of sugar. Wow - a recipe for frosting? I used the book as a cookbook and tried to follow it. Didn't really work out if I remember. 

The interesting part when I reread this now was that the mother wrote short stories and sold them to make money. This is absolutely fascinating because in 1900's England, this was the only option for an educated woman of a certain class. The mother is always stressed out - I remember the girls put eau de cologne on her forehead to help her. My gosh - that poor woman! Her husband is tangled up in some messy business, their names are in the papers, she's gotta take her 3 kids to the country and figure out how to manage alone! Fortunately, it does have a happy ending - else I wouldn't have read it so much!

Side note - British actor Jenny Agutter plays Roberta (Bobbie) in the 1970 version of the movie, and then she plays the mother in 2000 version. But.. wait.. I know her.. Sister Julienne from "Call the Midwife"!

Movie Review - Bombay Rose

 

I have been seeing trailers about Gitanjali Rao’s “BombayRose” on social media since it was released in 2019, so I was so eager to see it finally on Netflix.

It is an hour and half of beautiful hand animation, a love story to Mumbai. Each frame is so beautifully crafted, and the music is hypnotic and transformative. 

The movie begins with the faceless crowds of Mumbai going about their daily hustle. It focuses on the main character – Kamala. By the way, keep your eyes open for all the subtle and not so subtle references to flowers. Kamala is a lotus flower and even later I noticed a shop with the name Gulabi, which is a rose.

I don’t want to say much about the story because it is so different, and one should enjoy the visual experience. The story line is a your basic Hindu girl selling flowers and a Muslim boy catching her eye on the street, each dreaming of the life they wish they could have. Their intricate backstories are revealed slowly, and characters' interactions cross over eventually - all woven together. 

As a true love letter to Mumbai – or Bombay as it is always known in people’s hearts – Rao addresses the microcosm of cultures in the city and the languages. We have Salim from Kashmir, the Maharashtrian sellers in the market, the Goan Christian teacher who was a former film starlet. The movie doesn’t shy away from tough real life topics – child labor, sexual exploitation/prostitution, gangsters, poverty. However, these are not faceless characters anymore – we know them and their struggles.

What stands out in this film is the story of Shirley D’Souza, an elderly woman who reminiscences about the old days. As she steps out onto the pavement, the city turns black and white and back to 1950s. She loves her cigarette and whiskey and reliving memories of her youth. These are the shops and the buses my parents talked about riding; the streets are quieter and not as populated. Above all, we loved the Konkani music! We had to look up one of the songs – “Red Rose” by Lorna Cordeiro. The video has the English translation of lyrics and it’s so great! (And, another rose was delivered)

 In a way, Shirley’s story seemed separate from Kamala’s, almost as if it could be its own movie, complete with a love story and tragic heroine. However, the narrative is strong enough to bring it all together in the end.

 It moves slowly and thoughtfully, but it's so engaging. It would be a good introduction to Mumbai for some, but lots of nostalgia for others.

It's Time for Jeopardy!

“Oh! Oh! It’s 7 pm. I need to go now,” he would excitedly say, abruptly cutting our phone conversation short.

“Wait, I didn’t finish. I have to tell you something.”

“OK, tell me quick. It’s time for Jeopardy!”

So that’s how the conversations would end. If you needed to call my father, you’d have to call before or after he finished Jeopardy! If you called after, you would get a delightful recap of the show.

“Did you see the final Jeopardy question? Oh, you didn’t? I thought you would know it because it was about American Literature.” As an immigrant from India who came to the US 50 years ago, he was comfortable with majority of the British writers and Hollywood movies, but on Shakespeare and American popular culture, he would defer to me. If there were topics that were unfamiliar and intriguing, he would make a note and search online later to research.

"Oh, I learned something about about Roosevelts," and he would explain what he found on Wikipedia. 

This show has been a part of our lives for years. Back in early 90’s, my roommate and I had a 7:30 evening class; we needed to leave by 7:15 to be on time. There were way too many days when we waited to hear final Jeopardy question before leaving, thus being late for class.

Jeopardy! has a way of making the audience feel smart, especially when one out performs the contestants, who are so impressive until they mess up. Personally, I have a happy dance I do when I get the Final Jeopardy answer correct and the contestants do not. When watching the show with my daughter, I always challenge her to answer specific categories related to her current schoolwork. She rolls her eyes at me, and may not have an idea. But the moment she does gets a question right, her self-esteem shoots up!

My father watched Jeopardy! religiously, more so after he retired. I suppose that when one retires, there’s a need for schedule and structure. So, the whole day can be spent on random activities and phone calls to friends, but come 7 pm, there’s an appointment to be kept. My father was always the happiest at home, as master of his own domain – and remote control. By the way, Dad was a Ken Jennings fan and had followed his streak passionately, and scolded me for games I missed. 

Since 2000, my father was in and out of hospitals due to various cardiac health situations. He would often be hospitalized for days or a week or two. Of course, visiting hours hit in the evening, so we knew someone would be watching the show with him. We'd turn on the hospital TV and fuss with the angle and remote control volumes.

In June 2018, he was hospitalized for pneumonia, but it turned out to be kidney failure. We would be with him around the clock, as he moved on to dialysis. To help flush his kidneys, he was on low liquids. We held his hands as he feebly asked for water, which we could not give. Time moved slowly throughout the day as doctors and nurses came in and out, measuring and testing, and giving vague answers if any.

That 7 pm time slot was magical, a comfortable expectation of what we would experience. Alex is a reliable friend showing up, and reminding us the rest of the world was still normal. In his weakened state, he couldn’t follow along with the show. Was his hearing aid turned on? We tried to be cheerful and tried to ask him the questions in case he knew. The dialysis bed had a small TV on the side. So, it worked as a bit of distraction, as the machines droned rhythmically next to him, cleaning out his blood stream.

On August 20^th, he passed away from multiple organ failure. It’s been difficult for the family and every friend who knew my father and his jovial spirit. My mother is living alone, and she said she watches the show every night too. This was their ritual she needs to uphold. One evening, she saw the lights flicker in the family room when Jeopardy! was on. She knew he was watching too.

When 7 pm rolls around, all of  us watch it as a way to get closer to my father. For about 30 minutes, we're remembering my father's excitement for trivia and his never-ending quest for knowledge.

Self-Care with Netflix

When Netflix launched April 1998, we did try the DVD by mail service. But we accidentally mailed the wrong DVD back to them, which they promptly returned to us. We supported our local video stores until they disappeared and turned into a kiosk at the grocery store.

As Netflix expanded, the world buzzed about “House of Cards” and “Orange is the New Black.” Fortunately, we were able to procure the DVDs from the library. “We’re good and why don’t need Netflix since we barely watch cable TV, and my daughter will be glued to it even more.”

On November 25, 2016, they announced the reboot of the “Gilmore Girls.” That’s when I said “We need Netflix. NOW.” I had fallen in love Lorelei and Rory on reruns for the past year, unwinding after work with any random episode to escape into Stars Hollow. Let’s try it out and see if it’s worth it. Yes, we fell into the chasm of scrolling through choices and finding all the things we “always wanted to watch.”

Coincidentally, it was November 2016. Remember if anything else happen then? Oh yes, the whole world turned upside down due to an incomprehensible election. Like many Americans, I’ve been consumed by the news - the decline in morality, disappointment in the lack of integrity of elected officials. I’ve cried for children in cages and children who hid under desks. I listened to public radio journalists who tried to hold onto professionalism as they relayed the absurd and vulgar Tweets. We marched every January, hoping for the best.

That winter was a very dark time for the world, and it became even darker personally as we had a loss in the family. My husband was traveling quite a bit and I was dealing with changes at work. I ended up turning to Netflix for diversion. I discovered different shows that helped me feel less alone or give a different perspective. This escapism has continued for another 3 years now.

For reference, I do not ‘binge’ on a series to complete all at once. I try to stretch it out as much as I can. The most I’ve done is 3 episodes in a row. If I like it, it’s a chocolate bar and I take a bite at a time to make it last as long as I can. So here’s a run down of the shows that gave me solace in a time of confusion.

Mad Men

This was first on my list of “always wanted to watch,” due to the reviews, the glamour of the era and personally, advertising was my dream career path. I never wanted to start in the middle of the series. Now it was completely on Netflix, I thought I’d give it a go. I escaped to 1950s America and then followed the team into the 1960s and 1970s through the 7 seasons.

There was one episode with a backdrop of the Cuban Missile Crisis and the characters contemplated the possibility of imminent nuclear war. If we forward to 21^st century, this paralleled our own fear with current administration egging North Korea to continue nuclear missile tests.

Why is it “self-care”: It is a total escape into the past where people were jerks to each other’s face and did not hide behind social media. We could feel better about the sexism, crime and pollution in NYC now that we fast forward 50 years and have laws to protect workplace harassment. And of course, Jon Hamm as Don Draper – the most attractive, complex and enigmatic character on television. This America felt more familiar, even though I never knew it this personally.

The Unbreakable Kimmie Schmidt

I don’t know why but this show is my happy place. It’s smart, it’s witty and relevant, and then just silly.. The minute I turn this show on, I start cracking up. Maybe I’m still in 8^th grade like Kimmie, but her optimism and enthusiasm are perfect escape. Tina Fey is a goddess of quick wit. Sometimes the joke just flies by so quickly, you know you were just hit by it, but can’t even explain to someone else.

Why is it “self-care”: Moments to laugh hysterically and surprise Jon Hamm appearances.

The Great British Baking Show 

When I come from work, I relax with an episode of this show. There’s companionship and politeness. There’s chocolate and Italian meringues. No one yells at anyone saying “you’re fired” or insulting anyone’s cooking style. Usually if the person has done a bad job, they know it. They don’t need a judge to humiliate them. Instead the other contestants and the hosts come around and give everyone a hug. Plus there’s the whole British baking language – remember that when they bake “biscuits” it’s really cookies and not doughy Southern style biscuits.

Why is it “self-care”: When we’re not in the tent, the camera takes close ups of a surreal green countryside and all the bits of nature. Then the desserts and bakes come together in beautiful displays that are so impressive and you’d love to indulge. By the end of the season, everyone is your friend and you’re crying when they have to go home.

Note - this appears on PBS too.

The Kindness Diaries

I’ve written a blog and then some about the Kindness Diaries. It marries travel shows with human interest stories. Leon Logothesis is charming and amiable.

Why is it “self-care”: this is a reminder that people are good in real life. We need to step away from the horrible stories we see online and just remember that one on one, people are still good and will try to help someone when they can.

Queer Eye

I love them. I watched the original series years ago, and was skeptical about the new cast taking this over. However, they’ve done a superb job and you can see their own metamorphosis from first season to becoming international ambassadors of positive energy and being true to oneself. 

Why is it “self-care” : we start with a struggling ‘hero’ and we learn to empathize with them. We understand their challenges and might have felt that way. By the end of the episode everyone has transformed and QE team is amazing and supportive. It feels good for the person who has struggled alone to have someone who is on their side and focused only on them.

And, cue the waterworks at the end of certain episodes. Yes, they do deserve this – they opened themselves up to change and the universe will help – even if it is 5 great guys. By the way, I think their home makeovers are SO much better than the Fixer Uppers and other HGTV shows. When those shows reveal at the end, you know exactly what the style will look like (shiplap, anyone?) Does everyone really want a farmhouse style? The beauty of the QE renovations, it's like they know what the Hero of the episode dreams about and honors that. That's a true makeover.

And more..

I could keep going on and on about my other favorite shows, but these are the ones that get my spirits lifted and I might do a separate blog post about those. So, I’m grateful for the “Gilmore Girls” reboot came