Saturday, July 28, 2007

When Cup of Honesty Overflows

"Tell the truth!" "Let it out, you'll feel better" is what you hear.

But, is it always the best approach? Sometimes I think the truth is something that is best left served in measured doses.

The truth can be hurtful when said directly. I always wonder whether some things are better left unsaid and buried away. It's like in "Raiders of the Lost Ark" when the ark was open. Prepare for chaos!

Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress.
- Mohandas K. Gandhi

A friend of mine had a confrontation with her father. She had to take some things off her chest about him and she did. However, he ended up avoiding her for some time. It was as if she took these heavy issues off her chest and gave it to him to carry. Instead of feeling lighter, she felt even more weighed down.

Another thing I have yet to see any good results is in the letter or email. "I wrote her a letter telling her exactly how I feel and what she's done to me." Yes, you feel great afterwards. Of course, the recipient gets the letter and is usually in shock and will never speak to you again. My suggestion for those folks is to write the letter, but do not mail it!

I just heard about someone who left this long, patronizing voice mail for someone. If you have something to say, don't let it be a monologue, but a conversation.

You don't have to avoid confrontations and conflicts, but do it with the intent not to hurt.

I believe in the power of words. I don't believe there is a shortage of words in the English language and if you take a moment to think before speaking, you can convey your point effectively. Sometimes it's better to say less.

I came across this last quote recently and it didn't really hit me until this week. I always had a problem with the notion of "forgive and forget." People think they've forgiven once it's been forgotten. And, one doesn't have to be a saint to let go of ill will.

To forgive is not to forget. The merit lies in loving in spite of the vivid

knowledge that the one that must be loved is not a friend.
- Mohandas K. Gandhi


1 comment:

J.Doe said...

Little white lies are especially useful. I just hate when people tell me how I look fat in certain clothes and colors.