"Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space"
Oprah has this quote posted in her makeup room. I've thought about posting this on my office door. However, how could we send out this message to people when we're not in a physical space, but our own space?
I blogged once about how I'm quite sensitive to the energy around me - if you're motivated and inspired, I will be too. If you're bringing negativity, I will feel it too.
Our personal challenge is how do we deal with the persons that are constantly negative. It's easy to say that we just cut them out of our lives. But, it may not be that simple as you may be into forced situations such as work or social settings.
We recently had an interaction with someone who is extremely negative and teeters on obnoxious (well, sometimes, falls over). We're in a situation with her that we can't extricate ourselves due to social entanglements. Therefore, it's a struggle to maintain our own positive energy while being subjected to pellets of negativity. We could clearly see the effect she has on people around her, and they look beaten down.
I suppose one has to put up a force field. I'm thinking of Violet from The Incredibles who finds this energy inside of her to put around herself and her family when being attacked. Go ahead, hit me with your insecurities, it won't penetrate us!
However, force fields can only be sustained while the superhero is focused on it. If we let down our guard just to breathe for a moment, we could get attacked. It's exhausting to repel the negative energy. And, my force field cannot be there to protect every one at every minute. This is like my previous blog about controlling situations. I can adjust my sails and step away.
An alternative approach would be to spread the positive. However, I've seen that people live via negative channels have put up a wall, not just a force field. They don't have to even focus on it - it's already built and protects them. You could keep sending forth positive messages, but they won't hear them. They may bring down a brick or two if they see that the coast is clear.
The fact that I'm even writing about this proves that I've been affected by this. If I truly repelled them, I wouldn't feel the urge to even write! By the way, I don't think it's necessary to bad-mouth people. I've seen that negative and incompetent people do their own advertising. It's quite obvious to other people, so you might as well save your breath.
There was a situation at work with someone who is notoriously negative and I say his project management methodology is "bullying." There was an incident where he broke me and I was deeply hurt. My colleagues rallied around me. The second time he attacked me, I had put up my force field and just stepped away to look at him. It was 9 a.m. on Monday morning and he was already fired up. He must have some baggage that I'm not aware of that is causing him to be so irrational so quickly. My colleagues were angry at his behavior, but I told them I felt sorry for him. We don't know what burdens everyone is carrying. His anger didn't change the situation, and actually hurt how the team worked with him.
I had read years ago that you should be the type of person you want to attract. If you want to attract depressing and miserable people, just send out the message you're one of them. If you want to attract more spirited and positive people, send out the message you're one of them.
I'm just frustrated that even if I want to be around positive people - and there truly are lots of amazing positive and vibrant people in my life - the Negative and Insecure still manage to weave themselves into the framework. I suppose that's part of life. Keeps us aware of who we are and where we want to be. Actually, I'm going to reach out to some of my positive friends today in order to "cleanse" myself of this negativity.