Quotes on Love

We don't love qualities, we love persons; sometimes by reasons of their defects as well as of their qualities.
- Jacques Maritain

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Spontaneous and honest love admits errors, hesitations, and human failings; it can be tested and repaired.
- Nancy Friday

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Whoso loves Believes the impossible.
- Elizabeth Barrett Browning


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Love me like a lovely dream...
- Flavien Ranaivo

Morsels of Poetry: At Least

At Least - Raymond Carver
I want to get up early on more morning,
before sunrise. Before the birds, even.
I want to throw cold water on my face
and be at my work table
when the sky lightens and smoke
begins to rise from the chimneys
of the other houses.
I want to see the waves break
on this rocky beach, not just hear them
break as I did all night in my sleep.
I want to see again the ships
that pass through the Strait from every
seafaring country in the world...
I want to spend the day watching this happen
and reach my own conclusions.
I hate to seem greedy -- I have so much
to be thankful for already.
But I want to get up early one more morning at least.
And go to my place with some coffee and wait.
Just wait, to see what's going to happen.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This poem speaks to me in so many ways. I love to wake up early to seek my quiet time; ironically I also like to stay awake late because it gives me a chance not to be alone.

Two years ago, we went beach-camping with friends in Massachussetts. We put the kids to bed in the tents and walked along the shore. We grabbed our wine glasses and sat in the moonlight to talk. It was July 4th weekend, so we looked for stray fireworks and enjoyed the silence that comes afterwards.

Anyway, I woke up at 5 a.m. I slept on top of rock (though I'm no princess, this was no pea!) Also, the sunlight shot through our tent. I felt like the elements were pulling me to get up.

I want to see the waves break
on this rocky beach, not just hear them
break as I did all night in my sleep.

I love to walk along any beach. This one was different, as there was a walking path along the campgrounds. And, I passed all the campers, silent with sleep. I was fascinated by the campsites and how people added their own little homelike touches (e.g., windchimes). This was a different experience than walking on an island beach. This was definitely inhabited, but the inhabitants were still in their trees.

when the sky lightens and smoke
begins to rise from the chimneys
of the other houses.

I still remember the beauty of that morning - the sun, the chill in the air, the stiffness of my body releasing itself.

While I enjoy being with my friends and family, I desperately seek my space to reflect and be me. And, sometimes I do feel selfish for wanting this. It's also a cultural anamoly for Indians - they don't understand the concept of wanting to be alone, have privacy. Fortunately, those who know me, do understand eventually.

But then, am I asking for so much?

I hate to seem greedy -- I have so much

to be thankful for already.
But I want to get up early one more morning at least.
And go to my place with some coffee and wait.
Just wait, to see what's going to happen.

On the Job Training: Motherhood 10 - Mean Kids

I should be going to bed, but I need to sort this out.

Why are kids mean? You are 4 years old, 5 tops. What are you - 35lbs? 40 because you eat mac/cheese every night? Why do you have to burp in my daughter's face? Why do you have to push and tease? Why do you need to throw dirt in her hair?

She's talking to me slowly about things, and I want to make sure I keep the conversation flowing. My mom would jump to conclusions and act upon them, and we learned it was better to keep it to ourselves. It's too early for that.

She's missing her daddy who's travelling. So, I think that's one emotional sore spot. For the man who swears she's "Mommy's Girl" there's no denying Daddy is her man.

So, maybe she's more vulnerable and sensitive these days.

In my other blog about Finding Neverland, I said it's great because you're reliving your childhood through your children. On the other hand, you're reliving your childhood through your children.

When she told me Gianna punched her in the stomach, I was shocked. I've seen Gianna and she's very disobedient. Her mother was talking to the teacher and Gianna was touching decorations, knocking over things - all in 5 minutes. The mom tried to control her, but I don't know. I heard Gianna gets in trouble all the time.

So, I asked her "Do you punch her back?" And she said, "No, you're not allowed to hit."

Ok. Fine.

Now, my plan is for her to scream at the top of her lungs "GO AWAY!" or yell "NO" and not be afraid. I've given her the role model -- Kim Possible -- who always kicks Evil butt. She liked that idea. And, I've also told her not to cry because that's what they want to see (said the woman who cries during Campbell Soup commercials)

There's also an Indian boy in her class, Satyam. He's been a challenge too. I talked to the teacher about it back in November, and she agreed. He seems to like her and will be a little physical with her. The teacher said sometimes she's laughing and having fun. But, then he'll crossover and get too rough. Then, it's a big issue. So, the good thing is that the teachers are aware and try to keep them separate as much.

Great, so now she's met her first Indian guy who sending her mixed signals. (I'm sure there will be many more in her future.)

Girls definitely put an emphasis on the social aspect of going to school. She tells me "Janice told me to wear this shirt." (Excuse me? does Janice do the laundry around here? I don't think so)

Positive side: There is a new girl Jessie and the teacher said the two have become quite close. A was very friendly and inviting, and Jessie's mom mentioned it to me. (I had no idea who her child was, but it turns out she's a part timer). Seeing that A was the new kid 4 months ago, I know it's important.

Tomorrow's pajama day at school. And, we have jeans day at work. (I hope I can keep that straight and not show up in my pajamas to work!)

**** Addendum ****
I watched 20/20 last night with a box of tissues. They had a mother/daughter special with all types of interviews.

Deborah Tannen talked about communication between mothers/daughters. She said daughters will hide things from their mother when they know they'll disapprove. (Yep, I know I did that). So, I'm going to try to be nonjudgmental. And, it's funny how the moms said everything they do for their daughters is out of love for them, while the daughters just hear criticisms. I know that's the way it's been for my mother and me. God, I can't believe I had to be a mother to finally "get" my mother. I still don't agree with her and think she could've done things differently, but now I understand her motivations.

By the way, even if nothing in the world makes you cry, this certainly would - Erin Kramp's Story. As she was dying of cancer, she videotaped life lessons and stories for her daughter to view as she grew up. To know that your daughter will not have you there is unbearable.

Anyway, I got some poems out of watching the show - will post them later. There was a quote I once read - If there are no tears in the writer, there are no tears in the reader. So, be warned, there were lots of tears.

A Life Outside of Work

There is a woman at my company ("Alice") with whom I rarely have interaction outside of the lunchroom. We say hello and once, she confronted me in the bathroom and asked me why I don't talk to her. I was quite taken aback because there are a lot of other people I don't talk to either. It was quite unnerving and rather high school, considering this woman has probably welcomed 50. After that incident, I made a concerted effort to be more friendly to her and find some small talk topics. However, her bluntness put me on alert, and I knew others had dealt with her bold attitude.

The other day, I was fatigued from sitting at my desk and needed a break. I found Alice in the lunchroom. She asked me about my daughter and I told her some little incidents, and the usual "Yep, they sure grow up fast." discussion. I asked her about her children and she said her two sons were late 20's, but she recently adopted a 12 year old boy. Her eyes lit up and she was giggling about him. Now, we ended up talking for a good 15 minutes about this.

She had wanted to adopt a boy and knew that "God would give me what I could handle." She told me how the boy's mother had died years ago, father was incarcerated and he lived with the stepfather and half-sister. He was moved from relative to relative and finally entered the "system" in March. Fortunately, she was able to come forth in June and bring him out.

She said she will fully adopt him in May/June of this year. Just having a stable home and someone to call "Mom" has helped him so much. When he whipped out the attitude, she stopped him right there. As a church-going woman, she introduced him to a strong community. He spends weekends going to tutors; he used to hang out on the street or riding his bike around.

She saw him work towards his first A and B's on his report card and he was so proud of himself. Having the unstable home life never gave him a chance to focus on school. He saw the immediate rewards and lit his own fire.

Alice pointed out she's very open to letting him see his family, especially his sister. However, the boy is coming to realize that his feelings towards them are not being reciprocated. He would often call his stepfather during the week, but no one would call him. She prepared him that at Christmas time, he may not receive gifts from them, but still went there. He came home disappointed that they all showed off the sister's gifts but no one bothered to get him anything. Alice said that since Christmas, he has not gone back there, making his own decision to distance himself from that environment.

I know that my daughter is very protected and that one little ripple has a profound effect on her. I cannot imagine what children who are not protected must face. Alice pointed out that he had a lot of behavioral problems, but an emphasis on discipline and straight talk helped shape his attitude.

Anyway, it was great talking and learning about her as a person and her life outside of work. Work is a mere 8 hours of our day - we all have so much more to do and accomplish in life. I really admire her for taking on the challenge and helping a child. I mentioned the movie "Born into Brothels" to her and how some kids do not even know they have options in life. But, it's a matter of reaching out and helping them. I have friends who have adopted babies from India. It's so hard to fathom that the little "prince/princess" in their house is one degree away from living and growing up in the harshest conditions. Offering a child a hand out of a situation is the biggest gift anyone can give. Not only do you help that child, but you help the generations that follow him/her.

Bubbles (My Poetry)

Bless me, Dr Agaston, for I have sinned.

Her question was innocent,
yet alluring.
Would you like some chocolates
from Switzerland?

How could I say no?

Rows of perfectly round
brown balls of sugar
and caramel, lined in a
tawny rainbow beckoned me,
hailed me as a friend, though
I had ignored them.

With precision and delight of exploring
the unknown, I selected a cocoa thrill.

As I broke into the dark bonbon shell,
my mouth stirred with sensation
of sinful succulence.

This was beyond human design.
Truly a cosmic collision
birthed the truffle. The heavens,
earth and spirits had combined
to be able to deliver the
feathery filling spilling
from a solid sphere.

The soft cream clutched its other,
wanting to be whole.
I obliged.

Another chocolate ball rolled from
its paper throne into my palm.

Grease 2 is the Word

Allow me to push aside all my poetry, and make some room for teenage..um..thirty-something cheese.
I was flipping channels, trying to decide between three reality shows and Fashion Police, I stopped on the movie "Grease 2."

Summer of freshman year of high school, "Grease 2" was on HBO every six hours. We were obsessed with the original "Grease" when we were in elementary school. And, now we were ready for the next group of Rydell friends. Stephanie Zinone and Michael Carrington.

So, here I am.. fairly well-adjusted woman, wife, mother, professional, etc. Here comes Maxwell Caulfield with his pouty lips, and I start squealing. Where did that come from?

I thought he was absolutely dreamy and ten times better than John Travolta (well, you can't compare him to the John Travolta of today though. No one can touch The Man today.).

Anyway, I was trying to see what the big attraction is to this movie. Maybe as a thirteen year old, we identified with Stephanie's desires for something new, someone new..Remember 'Cool Rider'?

If he's cool enough,
He can burn me through and through.
Whhoa ohhhh
If it takes forever, Then I'll wait forever.
No ordinary boy, no ordinary boy is gonna do.
I want a rider that's cool.

I had Maxwell's pictures all over my locker; if only there was a guy like him in my school. He had that James Dean brood, but a real spark to him.

Anyway, so not only do I love cable tv for playing 20 year old movies for the heck of it, I love the internet. I found Grease2, a site officially dedicated to this movie. (I have trouble finding time to dedicate to a site for myself - I don't know how people do it!).

So, it seems they've had some reunions and our man Maxwell has aged quite nicely. :-) Anyway, will leave you with more lyrics..

Stephanie: You were the one, the one in my dreams, but I never knew it.

Michael: I wanted to tell you time and again, but I couldn't do it.

Stephanie: All that you are is all that I need, no more pretending.

Michael: Now I can be me, and you can be you,

Stephanie & Michael: And we're never-ending, whoa oh oh...We'll be together, always together. Like birds of a feather, forever and ever, We'll be together.

Morsels of Poetry: Life, Love, Books and Metaphors

Found these on Poemhunter.com

Between The Covers
C.J. Heck
Gentle man, you hold me
like a treasured book
as if memorizing every line.

In your hands,
I feel new meaning
breathed into my pages.

Seductive bookworm,
no one has ever read me
quite like you, nor ever will again.

Passionate reader,
I love how you bookmark
your favorite chapter
between the covers at night...

Open Book
- M. Rose Davis
You say you know me
I’m an open book
You read each word
but have you really looked.

Hidden in the lines
Across my pages
Are my deepest secrets
They’ve been there for ages

Read my words
For I am there
But if you can’t find me
Do not despair.


(This one is sad)

The Book of Your Life
- J.A. SpahrSummers
And so I gently close this book
The adventures of your life intact
Africa Europe Hong Kong Brazil
There and back again and again
Never quite willing to give it up
Breathing a crushing sigh of relief
As I feel for your pulse my eyes
Glued to your bare chest and
Blessing the lack of movement
Mother watching fearfully from
Down the hall her hands cover
Her mouth lamenting the need
For such pain and this moment

Bubbles (My Poems):

Friday Evening Ramblings

Crimson nights upon the floor
Tell me more
Tell me more than
I know. And when I don't
want anymore, then I shall
ask you for more
and you shall
oblige me
by telling me stories
and poems
and limericks
of yore.


The second star to the right
The stars from afar,
what are you trying
to tell me?
Whisper into my mind
and set me straight
onto the path that leads me to the
sun.

New Year's Revolution - 2005

Everyone has their Year in Review so here is mine:

Big Events
- Summer visit from my mother-in-law and aunt-in-law. Lots of fun, laughter and tears, unfortunately.
- Annika switching preschools and learning to make "new best friends"
- Annika's first ballet recital on June 6, 2005
- My sister moving to Florida to join her new husband in Jan.
- Using "the girls' dance practice" as an excuse to hang out with our new local friends every Friday
- Celebrations at new temple and developing a sense of community for the first time.
- Thanksgiving in Florida
- Christmas in New Jersey
- Basement Remodelling 10/2005 - ???

Vacations
- Florida: Boca Raton, Miami & Ft Lauderdale with my sister and brother-in-law
- Boston: visiting and reuniting with old family friends
- Atlantic City: Just chilling

Births
- Ira K.
- Shukan J.
- Zubair H.
- Siddharth P.
- Saira O.
- Andrew E.

Deaths
- Peter Jennings: my first crush - charm, intelligence, an accent (what more could a 12 yr old want)
- Amrish Puri : notable and respected Indian actor
- Ishmail Merchant : where would Helena Bonham Carter be without this man? Truly brilliant and insightful filmmaker.
- Prince Rainier of Monaco : The prince who married a Philly girl.

Creative Acheivements
My blog!!
Connecting with old friends and making new ones! Thanks for checking my site out. I really appreciate it. (I find it incredibly fascinating to find out who is not reading my site, rather than who is.)

Auld Lang Whine
Every new year's eve, I always get a little misty. Not for the year that's gone by, but for what lies ahead. We all come together to start the year on a good note (umm..a hangover is a good note?)

I always find it incredibly exciting to think of all the possibilities that lie ahead (hence the emotion).

Lessons Learned
This year has been very trying for my family, but I think we will all grow stronger, smarter and more aware in 2006. I think one lesson has been not to take relationships with friends and family for granted. There were a lot of emotions stirred. The cream rose to the top, and others showed true colors and went under. All the better.

And, for the pessimists out there - when life hands you lemon, ask for the tequila and salt.

Happy Holidays

Wishing everyone a special holiday season - whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa or the Winter Solstice this month.

On the Job Training-Motherhood 9 - Santa, Inc.

Santa, Inc.

It's that time of year - Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays!

~My Story of Mall Santas~
I remember being 8 months pregnant at the mall during Christmas and looking at the families lined up to see Santa. I was touched -- Oh my God, next year at this time, I will have my own child to take to the mall at Christmas time. I felt warm and tingly with the Christmas spirit.

I walked around the mall and saw cranky kids in strollers, shoes flying, mothers exhausted. And, I thought - oh my God, next year at this time, I will have my own child to take to the mall at Christmas time!! OK, now I'm scared.

The first year I took her to see Santa, she cried. The Santa was very amiable, and he asked me to sit with her, so we have a nice picture of the three of us. Yeah.

Fortunately, since then, it's been great. She enjoys talking to Santa, like last year at 3:
"Where's Rudolph?" she asked.

"He's on the roof. You can hear them."

"Ohhhh."

He handed her a storybook on the way out. And, she always referred to it as the book Santa gave her.

This year, someone asked her if she wrote her letter to Santa with the toys she wants. "No. I'll tell him when I see him at the mall." she said matter-of-factly.

On a side note, the Santa at our mall has always been very authentic looking. Nice face and real beard. It's been the same fellow too, so it actually nails the image of Santa - kids recognize faces and aren't necessarily fooled by the white beard.

~Waiting for Claus~
That day, she got dressed up and we went to the mall. My husband and his brother said they were going to save our spot in line while we returned something. When we came to the center, they were not there - and Santa was on break. So, we just stood in the end of the line around 5:45 pm.

In line was a mother having a breakdown while scolding her son. The boy was holding her ankles while she tried to walk away (as a punishment for misbehaving) and she just put her face in her hands. We all looked sympathetically her way. In another 10 minutes he was quietly in line holding her.

Behind me was a baby who was attracted to my head and the father would apologize. In front were picture perfect two little girls. Mine was waiting quietly as well. I asked her what she's going to ask for, and she smiled and said "It's a secret!"

The line had snaked out of the designated North Pole area and into the main throughway of the mall. People excused themselves to break the line to pass. Countless number of times I had to skirt out of the way and pull my daughter aside. It was one thing to move for teen girls, families with strollers and the general shopping public, but I had to laugh when a few mall employees were pushing dump-carts. Of course, come on through!

When people saw the line, the most common comment I heard was "Thank God those days are over for us!" Yes, that's very nice of you to mention that.

A boy came running, "Santa's back!". It was about 6pm. Now, we just had to wait for the line to move.

Then my husband waved to me -- he had secured a spot up front! Apparently, he had recognized someone in line earlier and asked him to hold our spot while he disappeared for coffee. How did I know?

Regardless, we jumped forward and got in line. This strategic move must have cut a good half hour out. We had our digital camera ready, and started fussing with A's hair.

As we approached the entrance, a cheery staff person said we had to buy a photo package, the lowest being $19.99. We were stunned. Does everyone waiting in line know this? She said signs are posted up front. However, how fair is this to people at the end of the line who are waiting and do not know?

We pointed out that we took pictures in the past without being obligated to buy. She duly pointed out that they were a new company managing the Santa visit.

This bothered me so much - trying to make money off a targetted and captured audience. This is like Disney selling the $8 popcorn tubs at the ice shows. Parents of kids are vulnerable lot - willing to cede to anything to avoid a public tantrum or social pressures.

~The Visit~
Annika climbed into Santa's lap for the picture. Given this is a new Santa company, I was surprised the kids didn't get a small takeaway - i.e., story book, coloring book, etc.

After he took her down, we took her hand toward us, but she ran back to talk. He leaned forward and put his hand on the small of her back, while she said something to him. I let it be a private conversation as she had wanted. Santa nodded and said something to her.

She came forward, bursting with giggles. I asked her what did you ask him.

"For a Barbie doll!" More specifically, her obsession is with the "Princess Annika" doll from "Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus" movie.

~Fa La La La La~
I suppose I have only 2-3 more years of this and I can just shush after that about the lines, the commercialism and general head ache of mall santa visits.

I having a feeling I'll be in the minority of parents who sigh wistfully, "Those days are over for us."

Movie Reviews: Kids Who Do Magic - Part 2.

Born into Brothels

I had heard Zana Briski interview on Fresh Air (NPR) a year or so ago. We watched her win an Oscar for this documentary. Everyone on SAWNET (South Asian Women’s Network) has been talking about it. So, we rented it.

The DVD sat on the corner of our TV table for a few days because I was afraid to watch it. I need to be emotionally ready to watch a movie about the poor children in Calcutta. Naturally, it will be depressing.

Instead I was amazed and touched by this film. Basically, Zana is an American who lives in a red light district of Calcutta. She gives cameras to the children of the neighborhood and teaches them about photography. What these children see through the lens has not been seen before. Normally, people shy away from photographs – illegal prostitution and drugs/alcohol sales are livelihoods for them. The children are able to freely enter this world and capture it on film.

The documentary focuses on each of the eight children. They talk freely as children do, though at times their faces show more than their words do.

One child, Avijit, was a truly gifted artist. His paintings had exquisite use of light, shadow and details. His photographs were unique and his observations were acute. At a gallery exhibit, a reporter asked “Avijit, what would you like to be when you grow up?” He paused and said “A photographer”.

That pause indicated to me that Avijit was never asked that question before. He never had an option. How could you be allowed to dream when your mother was gone, father was stoned daily and your elderly grandmother sold alcohol at home for income? Life was taken one day at a time. Tomorrow will be just as hard as today.

However, were it not for Zana, Avijit’s talent and energy would have become a “raisin in the sun.” He was on the verge of becoming angry and such frustrated intensity would only go wrong.

She helped him into a good school. And, in the follow up section, Avijit commented that going to New York is just a hollow dream. Yet, Avijit was now studying at a prestigious school in the US.

What I loved foremost about this movie is that the street children became alive. Children are the same everywhere. Watching these children run onto a beach reminded me of my daughter on the beach – running towards the waves with giggles and trepidation. On a bus ride, the children sing and dance to popular Hindi songs.

The heartbreaking component is that we spend our energies protecting our child’s innocence and building her self-esteem. These children are not given that privilege; they are cursed and berated by adults and live in a world of negative energy. All the wonderful optimism children have is stolen from them. The adults in their lives treat them this way because that is how they were treated. The biggest dream one mother had for her daughter was to become a prostitute in Mumbai rather than Calcutta. This is their circle of life.

Zana did more than give these children cameras. She gave them life. She gave them hope.

She sought boarding schools for the children in her group (they needed to be removed from that environment). She lost two of her students to prostitution; the families see the children as another source of income in the house. She desperately fought for these children – negotiating and arguing with authorities to arrange paperwork, HIV tests, and interviews.

On the DVD, there is a special feature called “Reconnecting” where Zana visits the children three years later. From 10 year olds, they have become pre-teens. One girl cried holding onto Zana. Words couldn’t express to Zana how grateful she was for what she gave her.

She took their photographs to New York. Arranged gallery exhibits in Calcutta. Eventually had their photographs and stories published into a book. “Kids with Cameras” has become a full mission and Zana has received funding to build a school and grounds for the children.

Movie Reviews: Kids Who Do Magic - Part 1.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

This is the fourth movie based on the 7-part series of Harry Potter books. I had enjoyed this book – found it gripping and exciting. I remember reading the graveyard scene with Voldemort and blowing up when my husband interrupted me at an intense moment. It was a long book, but Rowling did an amazing job.

The movie was long, but it had to be to do justice to the book. It’s a darker story this time – I think maybe that’s why I did not like Book 5. This book still had a gleam of light.
I felt as if much was lacking from the movie that was in the book. Hagrid and Olympe were half-giants, and the history of giants. There was more about Victor Krum and Hermione; I even felt as if a scene was abruptly cut from the movie. I believe this was the book that Hermione had taken up rights and freedom for the elves. There was some more involvement with Malfoy and his elf.

However, I can respect that from the filmmaker’s point of view. Those side tales did not move the story as much and they have to build a core story from the side ones. I think that’s brilliant on Rowling’s part.

Definitely was a fun movie, but darker.

Harry Potter Mania and My Philosophy

Harry Potter, Harry Potter. What is all this hype about? At the bookstore, I picked up the “Sorcerer’s Stone” and read the first few pages. I was hooked. By that time, three books had already been out and people were talking about them. It caught my attention when religious fundamentalists were boycotting the book for its “paganism” and “witchcraft.” Hmm. Same people probably don’t have a problem with “Wizard of Oz” though.

Anyway, I quickly finished “Chamber of Secrets” and “Prisoner of Azkaban.”

My philosophy is that one should not be desperate for a new book. I do not want to fall into the anxiety-ridden desperation that HP fans feel when Rowling releases a new book. I do not want to tackle 4th graders at Barnes and Noble at midnight. I do not want to stand in line with 45-year-old wearing purple witch or sorcerer hats.

I like having the cushion of one book ahead of me. So, when Rowling released Book 5, then I could read Book 4. When Book 6 was coming, I read 5. It’s nice this way. I can easily find the book in paperback, in the library or borrow from someone. The book is not going anywhere. It’s forever, isn’t it?

Friends and colleagues get grumpy with me, since they like ordering the books in advance and reading it over the first weekend. Since I haven’t read that book yet, they have to hold back discussions or wait until I leave the room.

Anyway, now that Rowling is working on Book 7, I think I might start reading Book 6 soon. Or, maybe I’ll wait.

By the way, I don’t think I have a favorite book in the series, but I was disappointed in the fifth book, “The Order of Phoenix.” Thought there was a lot going on, but not sure how substantial it was. I guess that's the problem with being in the middle of a series.

Movie Reviews: Movies Based on Books

WAR OF THE WORLDS

Stay away from this if you can. It is absolutely horrible and Spielberg should be ashamed of such a lame movie. I always liked Spielberg movies, especially since he defined the alien genre with "Close Encounters" and "ET". This movie is definitely a thriller/disaster movie. Not one to provoke you into questioning alien life forms, just know this ain't gonna happen.

With WotW, it builds up, builds up, and then fizzles out.

The problem with this was there was no hope at the end..Just flat.

Compare it to other movies with DoomsDay themes.
"Independence Day' gave you Will Smith who was gonna kick alien butt..

"Day After Tomorrow" had the climate shift disaster, but at the end, there was hope at that the snow would melt and life would rebuild. This was also the case with "Deep Impact", the meteorite movie with Tea Leone and Morgan Freeman.

Let's forget the disaster movie comparisons, and go back to aliens. It was similar to "Signs" in the way the whole world is affected by the aliens - it's not just an American thing, but hitting everyone. Makes the whole planet feel small and vulnerable. However, "Signs" was eerie. (I admit that I was afraid to walk around my house after dark for 3 days after seeing that movie, since I felt I was being watched. Having my baby monitor cross signals with our Chinese neighbors' monitor was also nerve-wracking!)

Anyway, when Spielberg's aliens scoped out the house and the folks cowered underneath, it reminded me of 'Jurassic Park' with the dinosaurs in the kitchen.

Tom Cruise. No comment. (The best acting he's done to date has been on the Oprah show jumping about Katie.)

CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY



If you have no experience with Roald Dal's book or the other movie with Gene Wilder, then this will seem like a weird and psychedelic movie without substance.

I read the book a few times when I was 10 or something, and really liked it. I was frustrated that the movie was different than the book and things were missing. I always remembered how the grandparents all slept in bed together and Violet Beauregarde would stick gum behind her ear to save it.

To be honest, the Gene Wilder "Willy Wonka" movie had scared me when I was young. The Oompa-loompahs were freaky with their brown faces and green hair.. then kids were disappearing into tubes and tunnels. This was just not a comforting movie.

Now we have our man Johnny Depp, and I think he is a brillant actor. The fact that he played JM Barrie in "Finding Neverland" and Captain Jack Sparrow in "Pirates of the Carribbean" and is now playing this Michael Jackson-like character proves how talented and diverse he is (compared to a bland actor like Tom Cruise).

Thanks to computer imaging advances, the Oompa-loompahs have been whittled down to one man, Deep Roy. I liked his attitude and diversity too. The child actors are really good as well. I was surprised that the new Veruca Salt looks a lot like the old one. And, I love Freddie Highmore who plays Charlie; he was Peter in 'Finding Neverland'. How does a little kid like that get to be in 2 movies with Johnny Depp?

It's been a long time so I don't remember the "weirdness" of the character of Willy Wonka from the book, though it makes sense in the movie. After all, Wonka must be dysfunctional to isolate himself in a candy factory.

Anyway, this movie is rated PG - so I am right that it might be too eerie for little ones. However, they did stick with the heart of the book.

I read a review of the movie, which stated this movie was like good chocolate - sweet, but a little bitter.

On the Job Training: Motherhood - 8
Changes to Protect the Innocence

I once heard someone say that children are born with all the goodness and purity that exists in the world. It's the adults who spill this goodness from them.

So how far do we go to protect the wonderful essence of childhood?

~Television~
I know I'm always on the edge of my seat if I flip TV channels while my daughter is present in the room. We were shocked at the kissing scenes in Disney's "Pocahantas" & "Aladdin." We're used to the discretion of Hindi movies, where lovers duck kisses and hide behind umbrellas, trees, etc. She glimpsed the Madonna & Britney moment on MTV while I was flipping and she questioned it. I glossed over it and quickly put on the Food Channel.

I guess I don't want to answer questions just yet. I will eventually. I have no problem. But not now.

~Radio~
We were in a car where the local morning shock-jocks were doing their thing on the radio. Yes the FCC has a control over the language, but not the content. I asked for the station to be changed. While she may not understand the slang and double entrendres, I don't want questions. Not just yet.

By the way, I found it interesting that the DJ said his 12-year-old son is not allowed to listen to his show. However, the radio station made a CD and the son's friends got a hold of it and the son was subjected to humiliating teases about his parents. The DJ was not happy about this and had to have a good talk with his son about this.

~Sugar~
Not only am I protective about her mind, I'm also protective about her body. My first experience with her was that breastmilk was the only thing she could consume and from that point on, it's been a challenge for me to let go. Yes, yes, I let her have her Halloween Laffy-Taffy (a pinkish chewy concoction of sugar, corn syrup and whatever) - so I'm not that rigid.

However, I read that baby teeth do not have the protective coating that adult teeth do. Therefore, consuming sodas is detrimental to their teeth. I then decided she would not have Coke until she is 6 years old. Really, she has her whole life to drink Coke if she wants to do so. There was a period where I drank a can of Diet Coke every day (then I went cold turkey on carbonated drinks and found myself feeling so much better!). Anyway, she has never had soda of any type.. and she even says "Soda is not for kids."

*Exception*

We went to Boston over the summer and it was at least 100 degrees that day. The only drink available was Sprite. I asked her to drink some - get hydrated at least. She took a sip and said it "bit my tongue" and refused to drink anything. I begged her and she said no. Then we finally got her apple juice and water.

~More Sugar~

My other policy is no gum. She's only 4 and really too little to handle it. Therefore, gum has become THE forbidden fruit. At the dentist, she requests bubble gum flavored toothpastes/fluoride. She questions me every time I chew a Trident or Dentyne.

*Exception*

Last week we flew to FL on vacation. On the descent, she said her ears hurt. We told her to yawn or hold her breath to pop her ears. But, she couldn't. So, I gave her a piece of gum and her eyes lit up! She loved it and chewed happily. She also relinquished it later.

The next day, she came to me in the kitchen and said "My ears are hurting me." I knew exactly what she was up to. I told her gum is only for the plane.

So, she danced around looking forward to the plane ride home so she could have gum. She told her aunt before bed, "We're going on a plane tomorrow. I can have bubble gum!" and raised her arms in victory.

As soon as we sat down, before the plane even moved, she said her ears hurt. I told her on the way down it'll hurt. So she went back to looking out the window. She fell asleep before and during the landing. I woke her up when the plane stopped moving. She looked out the window and realized we landed. "My ears are hurting me" she wailed. I laughed and gave her a piece since I promised her.

She had the BIGGEST smile.. my God, I don't ever recall such a look on her face - big smile, mouth chewing and eyes lit up. In the car, she kept chewing the gum and FINALLY gave it up later. I thought she was going to turn into Violet Beauregarde from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" as the gum chewing champion.

Anyway, I still believe we should protect for as long as we possibly. However, it's all about being flexible, isn't it?

Personality Tests

I walked into work on Thursday and ran into my boss C. in the lunchroom.

"You have destroyed my life!" she said to me. I froze as did the others in the lunchroom.

"What did I do? I just walked in." I asked helplessly.

"Go check your email." she said with a smirk. My mind was racing - did I say something to the client? did a higher manager ask her to do something?

I went to my desk and M. poked her head in to my cubicle. "You're in trouble. C is really upset with you. Did you check your email."

"I'm still booting up!" I said and drew her into my cubicle.

"What is it?" I asked softly.

"Ok, C. took the The Harry Potter Personality Quiz you sent and she found out she's Lord Voldemort!"

Oh.

"I'm Severus Snape! That's worse!"

"No, Voldemort is pretty bad." And, so began a day of crazy Harry Potter-Myers Briggs analysis.

C. finally felt better when she found out there was a Draco Malfoy in our midst. She figured it's better to be evil and people know you're evil, than be a snake in the grass kind of evil.

We have 2 Dumbledores, a Hagrid, Snape, Olympe Maxime (Hagrid's half-giant girlfriend). We were wondering if there was a Dobby.



Anyway, I think these are fun to take and I'm still not sure what I am. I've taken the test before and was borderline ENTJ (Professor McGonagall) or INTJ (Severus Snape!!). I took it again right now and was assigned ENFJ (Olympe Maxime - a.k.a. Hagrid's half-giant girlfriend).

So, I think these are good for fun analysis and we laughed a lot over the full list. I know a lot of businesses do take the MB tests into consideration for team management. In my graduate school project management class, we discussed the value of these tests. It's good to have a creative type person coupled with an organized, deadline-driven type so you can be sure the work would be done on time. Or, you may not want to couple these two together as they could work against each other.

While this was fun to do at work, I was surprised by J. who was "Hagrid". His analysis said he's loyal, hard working, not willing to draw attention so he's underappreciated. I felt that was so true - having known and worked with J. for almost 5 years. This is probably something to which a manager one should pay attention.

Writer's Quotes:

Salman Rushdie
The real risks for any artist are taken. . . in pushing the work to the limits of what is possible, in the attempt to increase the sum of what it is possible to think. Books become good when they go to this edge and risk falling over it. .
~*~

A book is a version of the world. If you do not like it, ignore it; or offer your own version in return.

~*~
I make no complaint. I am a writer. I do not accept my condition; I will strive to change it; but I inhabit it, I am trying to learn from it.

~*~
What is freedom of expression? Without the freedom to offend, it ceases to exist."

VS Naipaul
An autobiography can distort, facts can be realigned. But fiction never lies. It reveals the writer totally.
~*~

I am the kind of writer that people think other people are reading.

Hanif Kureishi
I think the point of being any sort of artist is to ask difficult questions, and to write about things that we don't normally speak about.

Arundhati Roy
You know, I always believe that even among the best writers, there are selfish writers and there are generous ones. Selfish writers leave you with the memory of their book. Generous writers leave you with the memory of the world they evoked. To evoke a world, to communicate it to someone, is like writing a letter to someone that you love. It's a very thin line.
~*~

For me, books are gifts. When I read a book, I accept it as a gift from an author. When I wrote this book, I presented if as a gift. The reader will do with it what they want.

Anita Desai
…I grew up reading the major English writers. As I grow older I feel less a need to prove my skills. I realize I don’t always have to write in their style.

~*~

Leaving India frees one's tongue. Within India you hold back so much. And being part of that life, you're too involved to look with objectivity.

Bubbles (My Poems):
Fleur de Lis
Quebec City, February 1987

“I’ve never seen the ocean,” he says
and she gasps,
almost shaking the salt and sand
of the Atlantic off her hand.
He smiles and toasts to the Canadiens.
She nods.

She sees icicles form on lashes,
and a nose tint a pale violet.
She feels the pain as her feet thicken into ice
blocks, like the sculptures gracing the squares.

The cold spikes through her legs
as she hobbles on frosted cobblestone streets
in the wrong shoes and
tipsy from too much wine.
No, it was a kir, a drink that sweetens and soothes.

So maybe not too tipsy,
though a bit giddy from the crispness of
freedom that comes from
crossing borders and leaving boundaries.

The night is foreign and intimate.
Voices in the streets call out
to someone unseen.
She wants to know who they are,
but she already does.
She is one of them,
savoring every ordinary moment.

This poem is recollection of my first trip to Quebec City as a high school senior. Six of us girls went with Madame Sue Fynan to Quebec City to view the Winter Carnival (Carnivale D'Hiver) in February. Madame Fynan was a whole 26 years old as the adult chaperone and 15 year old girls really pushed the edge. As a senior, I was unceremoniously recruited as her peer and asked to help watch out for misdemeanors. (Actually the 'she' in the first paragraph is one of the girls who was flirting with a local guy and I had to hang around her to make sure she wasn't alone). My travelmates and I had that "Breakfast Club" experience - extreme bonding for four days and then we went our separate ways when we returned back to school.

I wrote this a year or so ago. I didn't want this poem to be about my whole trip, else I'd be discussing crepes and La Bonhomme D'Hiver and all sorts of things. No, this is just about a moment.. a memory of walking on cobblestone street in the cold in the wrong shoes.

Anyway, I've been a Francophile from the time I was 12 and Quebec set my impressions of the French culture.

Bubbles (My Poems):

The Wails in the Autumn Wind
Ensemble,
they are a splendor.
Alone, they crumble and
bare their fragility.

Unaware they are torn.
Some fly
Some float
All fall.

The tree stands
Arms outstretched
Palms empty
Fingers aching to hold
You left me, it cries

We didn’t want to,
they rustle.

Autumn

The lush trees Nature weaves
wither and shrivel
into reddened leaves

Ensemble, behold the sight.
Alone, it crumbles
Silent, dry and light.

These are 2 poems I wrote years ago. They're actually two variations of the same theme. I think that was the year that Autumn really depressed me. I'm definitely a spring and summer girl.

Now that it's November (and 70 degrees in PA!), I thought it'd be fun to share.